My Top Ten Favorite Movies About Bad AliensMay 31 '09 (Updated Oct 25 '09) Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Aliens with a bad intergalactic attitude.
There are movies about good aliens & there are movies about bad aliens. This top ten fave list is about the ones that require a really good whoopin' in order to set 'em straight. 10. Plan 9 From Outer Space "Inspector Clay is dead...murdered...and somebody's responsible!". I like this movie. That's right. I said it. While I initially dimissed this king of kings of all crappy movies because of it's reputation, I have since then actually developed an affection towards this film. Sure, it's probably lives up to it's rep as the worst movie ever made, but it's not without it's charm. There are plenty of bad movies out there that are just bad & then that's it. No more to add. But this film, there's an instinctual level to it, in which it feels like that there came a day when all the film-gods gathered together & decided to inspire a woman's cashmere sweater wearing b-film (okay, okay.....d-film....& that's being generous) "director" to make a movie that's so bad, it can almost remind us that a big part the concept of filmmaking is to just have fun. To "escape" into the process of making a movie as much as in the viewing. Okay, maybe not everyone will get any kind of positive response from watching this trainwreck of falling backdrops & bad acting (really bad acting), but you don't even have to watch it. Just knowing that it's there is enough. As a reminder that we can not have a day without a night. We cannot have the good without the bad. We cannot have an Apocalypse Now without a Plan 9 From Outer Space. To reminds us just how good movies can be if some of 'em can be this bad. And to it's credit, considering the time it was made, some of the effects are kinda amazing. I mean, I don't know how they did it, but they actually made some of the props in this film look like they were made out of actual cardboard. And this was before CGI. Like way before. 9. Predator - How does one gain the World Championship title belt of Total Badassery? Come from another planet, in full tilt sophisticated battle-gear & then proceed to kick the combined @sses of ""the Terminator", Apollo Creed", Jesse "The Body" Ventura & that one guy who played one of the corrupt cops in Payback. (Not to mention, in following sequels, take on another alien franchise). 8. Cloverfield - This movie gets an extra point just for the surprise factor of how much I ended up enjoying it. I really didn't expect to like this as much as I did. I saw this flick with my brother-in-law, & remember that when the lights in the theatre came on, we both looked at each with an expression of "Whoa" on our faces. As an adult, one of my absolute favorite things about going to the movies is when I see a film that brings back those feelings that I used to experience as a kid whenever I saw something that was too fantastic that it was beyond the realm of our realty & yet watch it come to life on the big screen in front of me. A giant alien monster rangin' thru the streets of the Big Apple is a pretty good f'rinstance. 7. Monsters Vs Aliens - A tribute to all those 50's black & white sci-fi horrors flicks, but now in cool 3-D-like computer graphics. And in full color. The graphics are absolutely top-notch,but some of the sheen has been lost due to the fact that they're also something that I'm sure viewers are pretty much starting to become accustomed to by now. And teen-agers today, let alone the more targeted little kid audience, will barely, if at all, get any of the connections to Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman, Black Lagoon & the like. Now don't get me wrong. I think that this film comes off as entertaining enough, but to some, it may feel like it came out a fews years too late. 6. Invasion of The Body Snatchers - A great classic sci-fi horror that thrills by channeling it's chills thru the use of the fears that we tend to hold most as a general populace. The fear that we & our brethen are not we seem to be. And rarely does the black & white look of the time capture this cultural sub-genre fear of the unknown & magnify it so that even today, Invasion makes the viewer feel the sparseness of trust that was running amok during this era of red scares & McCarthyisms. At the time, this movie could've easily influenced one to view his neighbor with a questioning look of "Are you a friend, a Pinko or a pod?" 5. War Of The Worlds - In the so-called "War Of The Worlds", the aliens in question are not only winning, they are displaying the power to totally wipe us out. I mean, they are completely ripping the planet Earth a new @ss. But just when it seems like all hope is lost for our defeated species, a savior is revealed. In the form of our bacteria. Looks like these giant tripod riding raiders have an immune system that would make a bubble boy's seem like an iron-clad defense system. Yep. The aliens literally catch their death of a cold. Turns out that, all the while they were cutting us down with their sophisticated disintegration rays, all we had to do was to sneeze on 'em. "... aah.... ... aah.... ... aAH-CHOOO..!!!!!! Take that, ya blasted Martians!!" Germ warfare in it's purest form. "Oh, and if you greenblooded bastards want some more of this, bring it! Cuz I feel a fart coming on with all yo' names on it!" 4. Solaris - This film is an excellent example of what can happen when all of the effort of special effects is replaced with maximum effort into the script. Definitely a thinking man's science fiction film whose intellect sacrifice none of the science nor none of the fiction. The plot utilizes the fantasy element of the genre to delve intricately into themes of the pysche such as regret, love, pity, self-inflection & even the most monumental of these concepts, the justification of life and death. It does so with enough room to allow the viewer with no other answer other than the store of reflection which he or she carries into the film, before & after. Despite an incrimately moving pace that many of today movie-watchers may at first be uncomfortable with, once you settle into it's richly layered rythym, Solaris is a great film whose provocation of thought is as richly satisfying as is the grandest world-demolishing visuals of any other more explosive sci-fi films. 3. The Thing - The thing in question is an alien life form that doesn't seem to have much in the way of a form other than when it takes on a host. And once it has gotten "possesion of your body" it will then mangle the shape of your physical form beyond anything you could even dream up in your worst nightmares. The Thing is a film that can literally hold true to the idea that the thing most scary about this movie, is that it's a movie about a scary Thing. 2. Alien - Ridley Scott directs a tale of "in-your-face" first contact, followed by a fatal game of hide and seek between a interstellar search party crew and a xenomorph, just one of what will turn out in following sequels to be a hive-race of double-mouthed acid-blooded slick black visitors who take the role of their hosts quite literally. Never have the film genres of horror & science fiction been so perfectly blended as in this stylish, dark and damp first entry into the franchise which first introduced what is, IMO, one of the most unique & simply bad-@ss alien life-forms ever produced for film. 1. Aliens - In this sequel to the non-plural installment of the series, Ripley, believe it or not, is back. And this time, she arms herself with some big guns & with an even bigger attitude of instead of squaring off against just one xenomorph, she's taking on a whole hive full of them. And their momma too. This movie has everything that I look forward to in a sci-fi adventure. Suspenseful action, solid story, distinct characters (with great chemistry), great visuals, kick-@ss aliens, a turning plot-twist (we all thought for sure, that Bishop couldn't be trusted), & of course, a catch-phrase that made the entire theatre that I saw this movie in to roar ("Get away from her, you b#tch!"). Mannnn....I wish I had acid for blood. Now, a few runners up: The Blob - A big giant glob of pink snot that only gets bigger & bigger as the movie progresses. Could somebody hand me over a city-sized piece of tissue, please? Superman 2 - Superman isn't the only Kryptonian to have escaped the destruction of his home planet. Three equally super-powered criminals of ruthless intent have escaped their prison of the Phantom Zone & have made their way towards the star, Sol, & her third orbiting planet (us). And unless the Man Of Steel can stop them, the entire planet may find itself kneeling before Zod. Signs - How do you get a former priest whose lost his faith to "open his eyes" & believe again? Try sending down an alien or two to start forming big ol' circles in his crops. Destroy All Monsters - For the first time ever, Godzilla, Minilla, Mothra, Rodan, Gorosaurus, Anguirus, Kumonga, Manda, Baragon, and Varan, all together in one movie, kicking all sorts of @ss with their big, floppy rubber feet (or any other appendages of like-minded floppy purposes). And it's all because of those stupid aliens! This is the original Monsters Versus Aliens epic, not to mention, the battle royale of all battle royales! With cheese! Independence Day -When almost the entire planet of Earth gets blown up, then it's time for we humans, as a species, to roll up our sleeves, get our sh#t together & then, go kick E.T.'s @ss. Spider-Man 3 - Spidey finds himself in need of a costume change to reflect his new attitude. And instead, he gets a wardrobe malfunction in the form of a venomous life-form from the stars. Mars Attacks! - In this particular "when aliens attack" movie, Mars attacks. And that's basically all that there really is to the plot. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians - The Martians get a nice big ol' can of whoop-@ss for Christmas from none other than Santa hisself.  |
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