The Art of the Food Commercial Jul 10 '09    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet The Bottom Line If you thought advertising could only be obnoxious, you might be right, but at least it's refreshing to see some ad's that are a little less obnoxious than usual... I don't know who else has noticed, but in the United States we are constantly bombarded with food advertisements. The logical conclusion is that this is because we are the fattest country on the face of the earth, and while advertisements in general are almost always annoying, are food ad's in particular to be singled out as the worst? Aren't there some ad agencies and companies that should not be jeered, but instead, applauded for their achievements in creating honest advertising that got the consumer interested? I am not a fan of the American consumer attitude or lifestyle at all, but I would like to point out some of the best and worst food advertisements that we all see so very often. First off I think it is quite important to establish the fact that there are very few commercials from sit-down chains that come to mind. For the most part the commercials that we are constantly bombarded with are, of course, fast-food. Fast-food is experienced by everyone, and we all have a very similar relationship with it. It's a love-hate relationship; we love it when we're feeling hungry, especially when we are low on cash, or it's late at night, and we hate it about 10 minutes after the meal is consumed. This relationship is constantly being redefined and reconstructed in all of our minds, however if we consistently feel like we want to die following our fast-food meals, you have to wonder- How in holy hell did they get me to come back again? While it could be argued that it's because you are poor top ramen is sold in many flavors and you can get 24 full bags of ramen at your local dollar store for two dollars. It makes you feel just as gross as fast-food does. If you had no money, the practical thing to eat is clearly top ramen. So if fast food really isn't that cheap at 5 or 6 bucks a meal, the once again, what in the fu*k brings me back? I'd like to think that it's hunger, but I could clearly fill that void with many tasty meals that are much healthier, and actually, cheaper. While many would then come to the conclusion that it's laziness, and it probably partially is, beyond that, I think most of you can agree, it's advertising. I don't know how many millions of dollars a year are spent on ads by fast-food chains, but it's easily in the billions. Apparently just the cheeto brand of frito-lay makes a whopping one billion dollars annually. That statistic is not confirmed, so feel free to angrily rant in the comments section about the only stat that I put into this "essay". In any case, that brings me to the first brand I'd like to give a nice thumbs up, or a pat on the back, or high five, or whatever other physical compliments you can think of for an unhealthy snack food. That brand is the cheeto brand. This is not because their commercials are extra witty or insanely creative. It is because they are ballsy enough to make commercials that are almost inappropriately weird. Honestly, what other potato chip ad's make you feel a little awkward around children and/or small animals? There is no way that the person that thinks of, and then follows through and executes these advertisements is not on one or more very strong hallucinogens. Well, it's either that or David Lynch secretly sold out and signed a contract to do advertisements for cheetos. I couldn't tell you which. He is far too sneaky for me to make a final ruling, and as much as I'd like to, I don't have the money to hire a private investigator to find out the truth once and for all. In any case, the mysteriously creepy cheetos ads are brilliant, and while they are not appetizing at all, they are extremely memorable, and oddly they don't seem to care if the expensive ads actually scare viewers away from the popular snack food instead of attracting them to it. This does not really have anything to do with ads, but since this write-up is essentially a random waste of your time, I figure why not go on a small tangent and waste just that much more. I am baffled by one thing- How someone could genuinely like "Easy Mac" as a snack food, and then can turn around and say that they don't like cheetos "because of the weird cheese powder stuff". I am rather ashamed to say that this person does exist, and she is my girlfriend. Just to clear the air while she is reading this, I'd like to let her know that I love her very much, and will always accept her, no matter how wrong her opinions are. In any case, I'd like to warn those of you reading that this next part will probably get a little dicey. Anyone who is easily offended by something they love getting torn to pieces, please stop reading now. "McDonald's" is the next focus of my thoughts. The success of "Mickey D's" baffles me in a similar way that Algebra baffled me in the 8th grade. Sometimes advertising can be bad, and then the food speaks for itself in tastiness, but McDonald's is a "double-threat". In relationship terms this is generally a good thing, for instance; "She's a hot blonde, and she can read! Double threat!" In the case of McDonald's both threats are unfortunately entirely focused upon your well being. The advertisements bring back memories of poster stores that have old 30's ad's and people would just kind of hold up a product and the tagline would read something like "Try this thing! It's really great!". This form of advertising started to die off in the late 50's, but apparently McDonald's simply did not get the memo. With the tagline "ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!". I guess the way I look at it is the same way I look at giving money to hobos. If a street person is trying to be all fake and bright and cheery with a sign like "I love you, help me out?" I'm probably less likely to help them than the honest hobo with the sign that says "I need your cash because I'm a thirsty alcoholic and I smell bad." So for me, McDonald's ads are just annoying. Not only are the advertisements condescendingly stupid and positive, the food also tastes as though a corporate executive took a dump on a hamburger bun and decided to serve his sh*t up raw. Kind of like sushi, but terrible and against health code regulation 1146A which reads, "All establishments of food service may not offend any customer to the point where they ponder their very existence in the universe." While that regulation is made up, "McD" would violate it at every turn. If you ever longingly find yourself staring at the McDonald's menu, wondering, "How is it possible that the $1 double cheeseburger was so disgusting last time. It must've just been a bad day." Here's what you need to do. Take your hand and then use it as a tool in smacking yourself right across the face. If that didn't help you realize that there is no one single "bad day" at McDonald's then try slapping yourself harder, or using heavy blunt objects to assist in the effort. While the newest "Wendy's" commercial may be getting little "oooo's" and "aaaahhhh's" from viewers because of how well their "asian chicken nugget" things are shot, there is a clear winner the execution of fast-food advertisements. One company that consistently makes their food look appetizing, as well as weirding out the audience with the ideas of their, clearly, crazed marketing director. That company is "Jack In The Box", who's most recent triumph was getting the entire country to sing a little jingle about tiny burgers from a commercial starring midgets and miniature cows. When their marketing director, who plays "Jack" was hit by a bus in real life, the commercial "Jack" was then also hit by a bus in the commercials and they did fast food commercials from the hospital. Even their radio advertisements are off-beat, honest, and awkward, yet somehow, always slightly attractive. "Jack In The Box" is absolutely not the best fast food restaurant around, but when it comes to advertising it, and not "Burger King" or stupid "McDonald's", ends up being the clear king. One conclusion that could be made, is that Ramen isn't as big as it could be if Maruchan just had the ad budget of "McDonald's". And with the price of Ramen, only hiring Jesus Christ as the C.E.O. would ever help them to pull off a miracle of that magnitude. For now, I think fast-food will continue to sit well above Ramen, taking in far larger amounts of money, and orders daily. This is the type of write-up that really needs, and likely merits confused, distraught, and angry comments. Please feel free to say whatever is on your mind, and I'd love to read long comments about how you agree, disagree, or would like to add something to the list. Offended comments are also always great and welcome as well. Have a nice day, and don't forget to go to the bathroom following visits or usage of any of the products or establishments listed above.

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