Drunk Driving or Driving Drunk
Oct 16 '09 (Updated Oct 18 '09)
The Bottom Line Bimbo, bimbo, candy on your face-e-o
Bimbo, bimbo, chewin' on your gum-e-o
Bimbo, bimbo, when you gonna grow
Everybody loves you, little baby Bimbo
People. I live in the country where excitement is non-existent. Watching grass grow is about exciting as it gets and trust me, you're not going to burst into flames from watching roots pushing daisies out of the ground. In my neighborhood, you have to look for your own excitement but if you're lucky, there are days when excitement lands in your front yard and you lap it up like a cat drinking cream. After the excitement, you lick your whiskers in delight or cringe in embarrassment.
The sun was actually shining on top of my house last week when my day jumped from dull to sweet halleluiah and hold the show while I put my shoes on to join you.
A shadow crossed my front glass door and being curious I checked to see what it was. An ambulance! Hmmm, it must be turning around in my driveway after missing the road across from my house. It can sneak up on you if you're not careful. I didn't need an ambulance, it had nothing to do with me, so I went about my own business.
Minding ones own business is a prudent way to lead your life.
More shadows cross my glass front door and I take another look. My jaw drops. It's possible my eyes bulged, too. Like I've said, excitement, or the unusual, does not happen here. My drive-way is full of cop cars, my yard has cop cars in it and the road across from my house has 3 unmarked cars and one emergency vehicle.
If all the cops are here, who's protecting the rest of the county?
I slipped my bare feet into an old pair of Croc's and headed out the door. Excitement had definitely arrived and I wanted a front row seat, especially since the show was on my property!
People were standing around gawking but I couldn't see the object of their eyeballing. My balloon was swiftly deflating. Whatever was going on wasn't in front of me!
So, where was it?
Possibly my 2 car garage with an attached two-story work shop was blocking the "happening?" It's a rather huge building which blocked out the other side of the road. I wondered if I really wanted to know what was going on? I mean, with all these people, all these cars, all these cops, it didn't look good.
It was in my yard though and for insurance reasons, maybe I'd better check. I have no trouble what-so-ever pulling the wool over my own eyes.
People are watching me as I cross my porch and head for the back side of my garage. An ambulance is there along with more cop cars.
There's also a white sedan with it's front end smashed like an accordion. It had obviously flipped on the narrow two-lane road and somehow or other smashed into the embankment. Someone was definitely hurt.
Oh my! This was something I had no desire to see so I scurried back to the safety of my own porch.
Dang, when did the THP (Tennessee Highway Patrol) car arrive? I deduced he must have drove in from the upper end of the county road.
He's out of his car (didn't see that happen either), and has a young woman in front of him and he's talking to her. Dang-it, don't ever go behind a building or you'll miss all the excitement.
Since she's the only unsteady person in the lot, I'm assuming she must be the driver of the car. She certainly doesn't look hurt. Her car was definitely a goner, though.
Nothing too bad for me to watch so I lean against the banister of my porch wondering if I had time to grab a diet Coke?
Ya know something, all these cop's look pretty good in their uniforms but this THP officer looked even better. Hubba-hubba.
I tune my ears in to hear what he's saying and notice the young blonde doesn't seem focused. He repeated himself and she still gawked at him and swayed a bit. He grabbed her to keep her on her feet.
I cup my face in both hands on the banister and do my own gawking at the THP officer and then notice something.
He needs to slow down his speech. He's talking way too fast and hey I can't do what he wants her to do in the fashion he wants her to do it. By then, I'd figured out she was drunk. You can't pull a fast one on me!
It sounded to me like he was telling her to put one foot in front of the other, heel to toe, and count to the tune of 2001, 2002, 2003, etc. Oh, and count out loud. You have to walk, count and talk at the same time. Slow motion, maybe, but not as fast as he wants her to.
She's incapable of following his directions and is having trouble staying on her feet. The THP officer has to hold her up.
He tells her he wants her to do another test. Personally, I thought one failed test was enough. There was no need for over kill.
This time he wants her to hold both arms out from her side, take her forefinger and slowly bring it to her nose. She has to stay balanced. He lets go of her and she doubles over at the waist. He pulls her back up and repeats his directions.
She only stands there and this time I'm thinking she's on her feet but nah, she's slowly slipping down again. Her blonde hair must have static electricity in it as it's sticking out like she's poked her finger in an electrical socket. A slight wind blew her flannel shirt off her right shoulder.
I want to tell the THP cop to slow it down, give the girl time to assimilate what he's saying but hey, she's drunk as a skunk, she's wrecked in my front yard and she's made a mess.
This is REAL cops and not TV.
The THP officer turns the girl around and cuff's her. Wow! I've never seen this done in real life before. It's not something I want to see again either. I know she's drunk and I know she could have killed herself or one of my neighbor's kids but we were all like idiot's at the zoo. She was the whole show and we were all bug eyed in disbelief. Geez, we're pathetic. This is what happens to you when you live in a cocoon and the only excitement is on TV. A worm niggles on my nerves whispering, "You fool!"
Of course, it doesn't hurt when a lot of the county cops live in my neighborhood.
The THP officer puts the young blonde in the back of his patrol car and then out of no-where I see a wrecker pull her car from behind the garage. Dang and double dang, I missed him showing up too! I obviously need more than two eyes to keep up with all the traffic.
In less than a minute everyone is gone. Everyone except the THP officer and his passenger. It's a mystery to me how so many people can arrive at once and disappear as fast as they appear. Here one minute and gone the next. I seem to be the only one hanging around. Since I don't want to stick out like a sore thumb, I head back inside.
Should I shut my front door? If I leave it open, will they notice? I really, really wish they'd leave. People driving by will be looking at my house and see the THP car there. County cops are common; THP isn't. Please go.
Ten "long" minutes later, he finally pulls out of my drive-way and I feel as if I can breathe again.
No more cops in my yard! I wonder why they make you feel guilty when you haven't done a thing?
It was definitely an interesting afternoon.
Someone knocks on my front door a couple of days later, which is surprising. No one comes to my house. Cars go up and down the road, some fly by and some creep by but none stop. How odd!
I suppose I should see what's up so I open my door and dang, there stands the young blonde drunk lady. Well, she's not drunk then. She asks me if she can look where she wrecked her car to see if she can find her watch? She's lost it and figures it must have been during her wreck.
I assure her it's fine by me for her to look. Neither of us make eye contact. That woman was falling down drunk but she remembered where she wrecked. Shouldn't she have been in jail? I thought drinking and driving was against the law, but maybe this is one of those laws where they release you when you sober up.
A calm neighborhood isn‘t so bad after all!
I needed a bottom line and all I could think of was a Jim Reeves oldie. Pathetic!
ddustyrose Oct 16, 2009
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