Is your life a work of fiction?
Written: Jan 22 '02
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Product Rating:
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Pros: A direct approach with unique insights in the self help field.
Cons: The male version of Dr. Laura perhaps?
The Bottom Line: If you're going to buy a self help book it better be this one!
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| armywife's Full Review: |
Dr. Phil is best known as the shoot from the hip psychologist featured on Oprah Winfrey's show in regular weekly "sessions". A criminal psychologist by profession Dr. Phil originally met Oprah Winfrey when she hired him to assist in her lawsuit several years back over the Mad Cow Disease show she produced. Like most professionals hired by Oprah Winfrey to assist her in her personal life, once the trial was over he quickly catapulted to fame as a regular on her show.
Dr. Phil has written 2 previous books called "Relationship Rescue" and "Life Strategies". In his third book "Self Matters", Dr. Phil presents an interesting question to the reader.
Are you living an "authentic" life or are you living a work of fiction? When you look in the mirror, who lurks beneath? By explaining how your self-concept came to be you will create a new plan for living, and in turn, for discovering the real you.
We all must find our "authentic self". According to Dr.Phil this is the person you originally were before life "happened" so to speak. It is who you were before any traumatizing events happened in your life. Relating the process of who we become to physical disfiguration, Dr. Phil explains that just as certain people are injured in accidents so our "authentic" self can be injured through experiences. A burn victim may now be disfigured on part of their face just as our "self" is disfigured when life-altering events occur. Is it possible that we have created a "fictional self"? Are we living a false identity of who we believe we are supposed to be? Almost as if there are 2 dimensions of us with our authentic self on one planet and our mirror self on another. The imbalance between the two leads us to feel incomplete.
This sounds at times almost like a psychology book about multiple personalities. Do we have a twin walking around that we are unaware of? Have we slipped into another dimension where our lives are played out a totally different way from what was intended? It's an interesting concept to ponder. If you've ever seen the movie "Sliding Doors" with Gwyneth Paltrow you will find an uncanny parallel. In this movie we see Gwyneth lead 2 entirely different lives based totally on whether she caught a subway train that day. In one realm she made the train, which allowed her to get home in time to catch her boyfriend cheating. In the next realm she misses the train and never finds out. In that defining instant her life takes 2 entirely distinct paths--one ending in death and one in life.
Could it be that this fictional movie has more truth to it than we could have ever thought? Could our lives have taken totally different paths if not for some small event like missing a train?
Dr. Phil says that while major life altering events will obviously change the course of someone's life that it is often the smaller events that can cause the largest disfigurations in our authentic selves. A 3rd grader standing at a blackboard attempts to do a math problem in front of the class. Unable to finish the problem she feels humiliated. Could this one event cause her to be altered forever? From that point on questioning every decision she makes? The moment before the blackboard incident she felt confident but immediately after her confidence turned to utter insecurity. At that moment has she turned a fork in her path? Now a desk clerk working the night shift if not for the moment at the blackboard she would have been a world-renowned surgeon. Could it be that one moment that seems so insignificant could be that life changing?
Dr. Phil tells us to back peddle and answer these 3 very specific questions.
1.What are the ten most defining moments of your life?
2.What are the seven most critical choices you have made to put you on your current path?
3.Who are the five most pivotal people in your world, and how have they shaped you?
While this may sound insignificant at first if you chart this on paper you will begin to see exactly which moment your life was irrevocably altered forever. For example the moment you said, "I do". If you had said those words to someone else how different would your life be? Perhaps traveling the other path you would have had more money, more children or no children at all. What about the moment you decided which major to choose in college? Did you realize at that very second you were choosing your salary for the future?
This book operates like a self-help manual/program chock full of practical exercises to get to the heart of your authenticity. The test and graphs presented in the book provide a good starting point to see where you are in your life. Presented in layman's terms is the basic psychology of "what makes us tick." Written with passion and honesty he enables the reader to "pull down the masks and walls," and maximize their full potential. What follows is an insightful journey into self-discovery.
Never a proponent of the "victim" philosophy Dr. Phil will shock you at times with his brutally honest approach that sometimes feels more like a kick in the backside than therapy! This is the McGraw style and either you like it or you don't. Readers of his two previous books would expect nothing less from this brassy and bold pop psychologist. This book is that wake up call you need to find out who you were before the world got their hands all over you. His motto is "Get Real" and this book tells us to get to work.
Typically an author puts his best work out first but Dr. Phil has shown us that he gets better with time! His third book throws out a totally different perspective of viewing your past, present and future. It is not what you expect and you will appreciate that with each page you turn.
As always this book is brought to you in an interactive format through the Oprah Winfrey show. Before you spend money on a therapist try purchasing Dr. Phil's book and following along with Oprah online.
Every Tuesday Dr. Phil will have his ever popular "Get Real" sessions where viewers can hear his p Get Real philosophy in a more personal format and discover who they were before "life" happened! Using the interactive "Self Matters" online workbook you will tackle such topics as 'Personal Truth'. In this section you will discover what you believe has happened in your life by answering questions posted on the website and sharing them with others around the world.
You can join "Get real" member groups, message boards and receive weekly newsletters. As you take the “Get Real Challenge” you will follow along as viewers who have participated in the process detail their success stories on the show every week.
With surprising twists and turns for the self help genre Dr. Phil infuses new life into the process of self discovery by looking at life in an unlikely way. It is just this unique perspective that fuels positive self change in so many readers and makes Dr. Phil well deserving of the self help guru title he has earned.
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If you enjoy Dr. Phil's books check out his earlier work in "Life strategies" and "Relationship Rescue".
To work this program with others online visit www.oprah.com
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
armywife
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Location: White Sands Missile Range, NM
Reviews written: 35
Trusted by: 9 members
About Me:
Army wife, Stay at home Mom and Graduate student in Professional Counseling.
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