thevoid99's Life Top Ten List: 2009 Dec 31 '09    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet The Bottom Line 2009 Sucked Overall Despite 10 Cool Things That Happened. Well, the year is coming to an end and all I can say about 2009. It sucked hardcore. It didn't start off so great when my little sister got sick and then passed away nearly a month later in late January. Now it's ending with me not feeling well emotionally at all as I feel alone, unsure, disillusioned, and angry with a lot of it towards myself. While it's likely I'll end up being the #1 Music writer in 2009, I hardly think it's an accomplishment. I'm proud of what I did but I don't really feel like celebrating even though I do feel it was an incredible year in music. It's just that I felt like I didn't do enough as I wanted to do with movies and my enthusiasm has waned somewhat. I wanted to do a lot more old films but the distraction of family coming over and having to drag them from place to place was nerve-wracking. Making things worse was the year in film itself which I will say was horrible. I found my enthusiasm for new films to drop quite dramatically while the ones I wanted to see weren't available nearby. The economy only made things worse since I had a hard time trying to maintain funds for films and pay money for food and gas. Being at Epinions wasn't helpful since I'm still not an advisor or top reviewer while I'm more frustrated with the politics in the site. The incident where I ended up waiting for six weeks near the end of October for a paycheck really has made me lose a lot of faith in the people that run the site. I don't really like the idea of having to wait nearly six weeks for a lousy check or having to redeem it before a certain date. I also don't like the idea of how people are selected to be advisors or top reviewers. Honestly, I think the way they do it really f*cking sucks. It's not that I feel like I should earn one of these titles. It baffles me that there's some people who have it but I don't feel has really contributed enough or has made anything that is worthy of these titles. I'll admit, there's writers I don't like at all and refuse to read their reviews. It's because I feel like either they don't really say anything constructive or are just trying to hype something that really doesn't live up to anything. With my reviews, I try to be as honest as I can while not hyping something or be overly-intellectual. I try to expand my work through a blog but that has certainly failed since I feel like I couldn't reach anyone at all. I know I average about 20-30 rates in a review which I have begrudgingly accepted but it's also made me wonder if there were more people that were actually reading my reviews. I always wondered if the people at the Filmspotting forum has read my reviews. The sense of frustration and confusion has made me wonder if I should continue writing or not. Part of me wants me to give it all up entirely because I feel like I haven't really done anything at all. I feel like my 20s is one long series of failures and all I've done is just write reviews that very few people read. The reasons I don't want to quit because it's the only thing that's given me pleasure while allowing me to create massive projects and such. The only other problem for me that has been very frustrating is that I haven't started work in any fictional projects I wanted to do because I'm unsure about what to write about at all. I don't know what to write about and turn into a screenplay. I'm also sure if I really want to be come a filmmaker. I really don't know what I want to do now and it's scary. I think that's all there is to say for 2009. Let's get to the Life Top Ten List for the year: 1. Jane's Addiction/NIN/Street Sweeper Social Club-5/10/09 Atlanta, GA Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheater Probably the best concert I had ever been to. With an opening act that included one of the best guitar players ever with Tom Morello just got me excited. Then came Nine Inch Nails for what is likely to be the last time I'll see them for quite some time. Hell, they went off with a bang while having Saul Williams guest on a couple of songs. Then came Jane's Addiction, a band I've always wanted to see with its original line-up. With that line-up, it was like a rock show that was like nothing I had ever seen and it's probably one of the best nights I had ever had. 2. Antichrist Of all the films I've seen this year and there wasn't a lot unfortunately. Lars von Trier's new film is probably going to stick with me the most. Largely because it's everything that I wanted to see in film but it was also something that I didn't expect. It was probably the very first time I saw a film that wasn't just confrontational but something that was everything that I hated about Hollywood films and maybe to some extent, humanity. It was something that was the true description of dark while at the same time, it was something that can be described as art without compromise as I believe that Lars von Trier is one of the world's greatest auteurs. 3. Indie Music I've been a fan of indie music for a while but this year was big for me. While I wouldn't consider myself as a hipster or someone that is there because it's the cool thing now. It's just that for me, it's an alternative to everything else that is going on with the mainstream. While there's probably a few moments there and there where there's something good from the mainstream. Indie has probably given me some hope where there's a lot that is out there while providing something that is different and original. I'm glad it's around though I hope it doesn't become the mainstream just like alternative music did in the 1990s. 4. Che A film I wanted to see because it seems like a rare film-going experience. It came pretty late around February and I wanted to see it on the big screen instead of a TV screen. It was worth it. All four-plus hours of it and it was certainly a film experience I will never forget. Even as a roadshow presentation, it was nothing like I had ever seen. Even as it is an unconventional film about Che Guevara, told mostly in Spanish, and directed by Steven Soderbergh. It's definitely what I believe one of the decade's best films. 5. Beatles Remasters The Beatles was something I grew up listening to for my entire lifetime. Yet, for years I didn't think their entire catalog would be remastered though I kept hearing about for years. When they came out, I wanted to find them in high-quality MP3s that it got me excited. I found them and more and it was like being a kid again but at the same time, it felt new. It is definitely the best reissue of the year and certainly better than the old CD versions back in 1987 as I definitely hope to delve into each album in their remastered form. 6. Inglourious Basterds I had my doubts about the film. Even with Quentin Tarantino's appearances on American Idol as well as the early reviews from Cannes. Man, I shall never doubt Quentin ever again. Not only was it one of the most fun films I had ever seen but also something that was truly epic and nothing like what is going on with films today. Featuring what I think is the performance of the year in Christoph Waltz as Col. Hans Landa, it is definitely a film that got me laughing, cheering, and be amazed in its storytelling. I will definitely await what Quentin does next. 7. Avatar This was a last-minute addition because I was enthralled in what I had just seen. For what was a very downer year for me in films. This was the movie that I felt ended the year on a bright note. I'm still in awe of what I had just seen. It was entertaining while it had a great visual scope and an excellent story despite its flaws. Overall, it's an amazing film and I applaud James Cameron for taking the time to make this film and turn into something that is truly phenomenal. 8. Bat for Lashes/Other Lives-8/17/09 Atlanta, GA the Loft @ Center Stage Seeing Bat for Lashes was definitely a strange but wondrous experience. Since it was going to a concert at a club for an artist I had never seen live. It was definitely weird but it was definitely fun. Even as I was with a group of people who were there to see one of the best rising acts to come out of the U.K. The experience was very different from all the concerts I've went to but it was certainly enjoyable nonetheless. 9. Sound Opinions Being a fan of film podcasts like IFC News, Filmspotting, and Mark Kermode, I knew that going to Pitchfork and Metacritic wasn't enough. Being a music fan, the Sound Opinions podcast with Greg Kot and Jim DeRogatis was certainly something I needed. Fun yet insightful discussions about albums and artists with interviews, some live performances, and album reviews. Sometimes I agreed with them and sometimes I don't but it is always fun to hear. 10. Music Databases With Soulseek having been my place to try and track down new music. It would also take too much of time to download song after song. The secret music databases (which I can't reveal) have been helpful on when new albums are leaked and such. Even when it's albums I can't find on Soulseek or anywhere else. Including crap records. They've definitely been helpful in finding new records and what is cool while allowing me to give these records a chance to be heard. Well, that's it for the year and it wasn't a very good one. I hope 2010 will be better. There's stuff I want to do and projects I want to embark on. So in the end, let's wish everyone a Happy New Year and say f*ck you to 2009.

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