The Definitive Madonna 75......The Beginning Feb 07 '10    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet Popular Products in Music The Dirtchamber Sessions, Vol. 1 by The Prodigy From $11 Jersey Boys [Original Broadway Cast Recording] by Original Broadway Cast From $8 The Bottom Line This could have easily been extended another 25 songs, if not 50. Preamble: I never thought I would ever admit to Madonna burn out, but sure enough after finishing my review of Lady M's Music I found myself at a creative impasse. I made a promise to myself that when I rejoined Epinions I wouldn't review anything in between an artist's discography, but since making that  promise I've found that promise nearly impossible to keep; so therefore the genesis of this project is to recharge my Madonna-lovin' batteries so to speak and to keep myself from rushing through the rest of her amazing body of work and not giving it the time and the respect it deserves. Hence, this list.  Why 75 you might be asking yourself? Simple, because doing a Top 10 or even a top 20 list of favorite songs from an artist like Madonna is damn near impossible; trust me I should know, I've made countless playlists of her music, deeming each list my favorite, allthewhile never being quite satisfied with the results. And being the obsessive compulsive nerd that I am, I've always found it fun to try and come up with my definitive all time lists of just about anything, from movies to songs of the 80's; you name it, I've tried to list it. But with Madonna, I have come to realize that she has some unreleased material that is equal if not superior than some of her more well known work. So finally after much debate, I have given myself the task of trying to expand on the idea of a "Top Ten" list to compile what I would consider my ultimate definitive Madonna playlist. To be honest, I mostly did this for personal satisfaction and accomplishment of actually getting something posted here on Epinions, but to anyone who might read this, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did coming up with it. Now here's the criteria for The Definintive Madonna 75: Everything and anything Madonna officially recorded is fair game. That means A-sides, B-sides, album cuts, bonus tracks, and in certain cases, even remixes could(and will-HINT!) be included. If you have read any of my previous Madonna reviews, some of my song choices should come as no big shock, but then again I'd like to think that I was able to create a bit of a debate, even controversy when I came up with this list. But before we begin with the best of what the Lady M has to offer, it would be remiss of me not to point out that not every song Madonna has recorded has been sterling, or in some cases even mediocre. So, here in my opinion, are the 5 Worst Madonna Songs of All-Time.......Hey, not every song can be Like A Virgin, right? 5. I'm So Stupid-American Life(2003): To this day, everytime I listen to American Life, I'm So Stupid is the one song I skip time and again, having only managed to listen to it fully a total of twice; once, when I first got the record, and the second was to make sure I was actually hearing the crap that I was hearing. Musically, the pseudo-punk production is a mess, sounding like a rejected outtake of the Music sessions, with what the french Electronica producer Mirwais must have thought American punk sounded like. From the ridiculous faux-punk rock production to Madonna's obviously and obnoxiously off key vocals, there is literally nothing good-or even mediocre-about I'm So Stupid. Truly the nadir of the shockingly solid and unfairly maligned American Life album.   4.Where Life Begins-Erotica(1992): is to be quite frank, disgusting. Nothing against anyone who enjoys going where no man loathes to go, but I don't want to hear Madonna casually and flippantly sing-talk(mostly talk) about what a woman wants. Nuh-uh, not going there! Besides the disturbing subject matter, there's also the little problem of Madonna's lyrics("Colonel Sanders said it best/Finger lickin' good"), which are some the worst ever written or sung in the history of music and the way she doesn't bother to hide her disdain for the song by refusing to actually ...you know....sing is tre' annoying. And after all is said and done, the song just feels like one big joke; and unfortunately the joke is on us. 3. I'll Remember-from the With Honors sdtrk(1993): Hey, Madonna, as one of your biggest fans in the entire world, please don't take this the wrong way when I say this: If I wanted to listen to an uber-cheesy Celine Dion trainwreck of a ballad, I'll listen to My Heart Will Go On and not I'll Remember, one of the most emotionally manipulative and lyrically heavyhanded songs you-or anyone, for that matter, have ever written. I mean seriously, are you sure Dianne Warren didn't write this slop? Is this over earnest emoting for real, Madonna? Seriously? Nothing about this song(if you want to call it that)screams original. Or Interesting. So now I know you couldn't have possibly written this song, Madonna. Coming from one of your biggest fans in like ever, do us Madonnabes a huge favor: welcome back True Blue back into the fold and banish this song to the depths of eternal musical Hell, okay? Sincerely, your true blue #1 fan, Kyle! 2.Who's That Girl-from the Who's That Girl? sdtrk(1987): And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, this piece of isht happens and right now, I curse my new Ipod and it's "convenient" shuffle feature. Really though, WTG? is a WTF moment for me because once you consider that Material Girl, Express Yourself, Cherish and Frozen- all certified Madonna classics-all peaked at #2 and somehow this half baked, regurgitated La Isla Bonita ripoff managed to top both the U.S and U.K charts, it is then that Billboard really boggles one's mind WTG? is cross promotion at it's worst:Who's That Girl? was a terrible movie, but the song, if you can imagine was-and is-even worse. Oh and one more thing: how in the blue hell does this make Celebration and not Human Nature? I guess that's just one more thing to boggle the mind. and without any further adieu.......the worst of the very worst! 1.Did You Do It?-Erotica(1992): Also known as possibly the worst song ever recorded, by anyone....okay so maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but seriously can someone tell me what in the hell this is exactly? Is it a song? Is it an interlude? Is this some kind of so not funny practical joke? Did You Do It? is by far the single most offensive thing Madonna has ever put her name on and the two would be "rappers" she recruited into spitting their lame "16 Bars" about almost, maybe, not really getting to sleep with Madonna should be taken to the most remote part of the world and left for dead. And to think that this clusterfcuk is the reason why Erotica earned Madonna her first Parental Advisory sticker of her career. Why, Madonna, why? *holds head down in shame* Okay folks, so there you have it, the first semi-official part of what will be undoubtably a gigantic Madonnabe's wet dream playlist. Now this is how her next greatest hits/box set should be......in my humble opinion of course! stay tuned for #'s 75 through 65...coming soon to an epinion near you!

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