Undateable May 16 '10    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet The Bottom Line  It was worth a shot listening to dating tips from a network that found 30 women willing to date Flavor Flav My TV found its way to VH1 one night last week, but let me explain. I had finished watching “Becker” on WGN and it was the first channel I came to as I surfed away from the upcoming “America’s Funniest Videos” with Tom Bergeron. You’d have done the same I’m sure, unless clips of kids delivering nut shots is your thing. VH1 was running a marathon of “Undateable” and previewing the upcoming episode. For a moment it was like they were taking inventory of my place, as they said, ”Coming up we have Hawaiian Shirts! Crocs! Dirty Cars! & Loud Sports Fans!” They lost me at the Man Purse, or the Murse. For those that haven’t seen “Undateable”, it’s a show like “I love the 80’s” or “best Week Ever” with random entertainers quipping snarky lines for cheap laughs. On “80’s” and “Best Week”, it’s a fun way to kill a little time in between shows you really enjoy. "Undateable" plays an endless barrage of abrasive comedians making fun of geeky things (knowing full well those dorks are guilty of the majority of the list items themselves) and really abrasive women letting you know lots of minor little things are “deal breakers”.   I hung around “Undateable” ‘cuz I knew The Donnas (VH1 favs!) recorded a few segments for the program. Ah, what the hell, for all I knew I might learn something.  Okay, I tried to hang in there, but I’d just as soon hear Tom Bergeron crack wise over home- made nut shot videos. I began to wonder if any of these people ever had a day off fun in their whole lives. (Except The Donnas & Sir Mix A Lot of course! That should go w/out saying!) “If you can’t throw a ball guys, then that has me questioning your manliness. A guy that can’t throw probably won’t know what to do with his two in the sack!” (BTW I’m not Tom Brady, but I can throw a football, with a spiral even. How ya' like me now?) After 15 minutes, I was talking back to ‘em. “Well, girl, I love you not likin' my Hawaiian shirt. It works like Deep Woods Off, only for be-otches!” “Hey Hal Sparks, by the time I’m desperate enough to start taking dating tips from you, I’ll have already mailed my check to Russia! By the way, Natalia says screw you too. Or pour me another Smirnoff; my Russian is weak ”

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