Call me a sad individual, but I actually had high hopes for Scary Movie 2. I expected it to be funny. Leave it up to the Wayans Brothers to give me yet another reason as to why In Living Color, The Wayans Brothers, and anything else they touch eventually dissipate into the dust. The number one problem with Scary Movie 2, was that is was not funny. There were perhaps a couple of giggles here and there – but overall the movie lived up and surpassed normal expectations when it comes to sequels – they suck!

One problem with Scary Movie 2 is that very little effort went into it. Before the first Scary Movie came out, I read a few articles about how the Wayans brothers had sat down four countless months and slowly worked out several ideas for the movie. They then took those ideas to their older brother who told them to go back and think some more. Finally a final script was decided upon and the movie was put into motion. With Scary Movie 2, the only articles I read were the Wayans brothers discussing how they wanted to make a sequel right away so they could ride high on their original creation. In my mind, that means the brainstorming sessions were severely reduced and any idea no matter how stupid it was – was translated to the screen. It’s quite ironic, because in the first movie, the Wayans brothers wanted to not only parody scary movies but also the countless teen movies that have recently come into existence since the early 1990’s. Now, they too, have fallen into the same trap that they once set out to destroy through comedy. They are coming up with half-brain ideas, full of young actors, making a comedy movie simply because they can and in the foolish belief (although at least 60% of the time it’s not financially foolish) it will sell lots of movie tickets. Face it, the Wayans brothers have become what they most feared. Cheap writers making teen movies for the mere purpose to make a few bucks. More power to them – but sellouts nonetheless.

Back to Scary Movie 2. This time around, the same teen characters from the first movie (even some that perished at the end of the first one) are back to face evil once again. It doesn’t matter who lives or dies, since if Scary Movie 3 is made they will return regardless. Therefore, of course, the focus is on the comedy. Like many movies all the good jokes are given away during the trailer – and even those are hardly any LOL jokes (aka, laugh out loud jokes). Instead they are SJMTBFBASSJ (aka, stupid jokes meant to be funny but are simply stupid jokes). One scene that comes immediately to the top of my head (for some strange reason) is the parody of The Exorcist which finds two priests and the possessed child vomited everywhere. This vomit scene lasts for well over 10 minutes with each character vomiting to the extreme. The joke may be funny for about 5 to 10 seconds, but after several minutes, the comedy dries up and you sit there waiting for the next scene – or joke – to appear. The rest of movie follows this context. A joke is presented, and then overplayed, while you wait for the next joke to appear. After about 20 minutes or so, it will finally dawn on you that you can expect a 90 minute movie to have about 5 minutes of laughs. The rest of your time is wasted and so is the movie and your money.

The story heavily revolves around the movies The Haunted and The House on Haunted Hill. If you have seen either movie – then you know the movie surrounds a bunch of individuals trying to survive within a haunted house. Immediately you will notice a difference – this time around the movie focuses on more adult horror films – unlike the teenage horror movies that the first movie parodied. To me it felt like the Wayans brothers had run out of ideas, or had run our of teenage movies to parody, and therefore decided to simply switch to adult horror movies. Part of the laughs are missing now, because there isn’t that much of a backlash against adult horror films currently than there are compared to the countless teenage horror films that have been popping up in recent history. In fact the core audience that this movie is trying to play to (the younger generation – of which I am on the verge of no longer belonging to) will have little knowledge of these movies and therefore enjoy the parodies less.

One note that I should make is that perhaps this disaster isn’t entirely the Wayans brother’s fault. The movie is credited to an amazing eleven – count them – eleven screenwriters (Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Buddy Johnson, Phil Beauman, Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer, Alyson Fouse, Greg Grabianski, Dave Polsky, Michael Anthony Showden, and Craig Wayans). Either credit was given to anyone who came up with brainless idea – or the movie was rushed through production so quickly that it required the thought processes of eleven people to pull this film out of their – well, out of thin air. Whenever a movie has more than two screenwriters, it is normally a failure. Too many ideas, too many different positions, and the end result is a puzzle left for the director to put together. Under a very capable director – the movie could have been a successful comedy, under Marlon Wayans, the movie is simply an extended 30 minute In Living Color sketch.

Similar to Driven, The Fast and Furious, and Freddy Got Fingered (so bad, I can’t even review it) – I honestly don’t know how to continue by review without repeating my expressions. But, I have to focus. I’m a firm believer in discussing the pro’s in a movie no matter how bad it is, and the con’s in a movie no matter how good it was. Allow me a moment to focus (listening to Michael Jackson’s “Bad” is no help however).

I’ve got it! *In a soft calm voice* Comedy. That’s why you should see Scary Movie 2. For some laughs. To escape from your dreaded professional life-style – forced to wear ties all day long – where a smile means you may be near a promotion – comedy will brighten your day! The laughs may be in waste (urg! – there goes my “con” again) – but if you simply want to sit back, and not - cry, or feel connection via drama, or smile because of happiness, or hug your close one because of a surge of romanticism – then check this movie out. You’ll laugh, for at least a few minutes, and then reality will set in – especially after you realize how much you just wasted watching this movie.

I feel like a failure when it comes to being a movie reviewer. I cannot to the best of my ability comprehend and compose any amount of direction for anyone to play this movie. Scary Movie 2 was so bad, that I dread Scary Movie 3 will soon follow. Perhaps they will name it: “I Know What You Did, the Summer Before I Knew, You Were Working On Scary Movie, and Now That I Know - You Will Be Yet Another Dead Teen Movie”. If I could offer one piece of advice to the Wayans Brothers it would be this – this doesn’t fly like any fly girl! Snap, Snap, Snap, Hommie don’t play this game!


Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: VHS