|
|
'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'Apr 03 '11 Write an essay on this topic.
Popular Products in Music
The Bottom Line An early diagnosis can save a life. If you are over 50 and reading this, schedule a screening colonoscopy!
The title is a quote from Dave Berry's Colonoscopy, which is a hysterical read if you have ever had one done. For those of you who don’t know me, I’ve worked at various health care jobs my entire life. I turned the big 5-0 last year. At my last physical, my doctor smiled and reminded me that it was time for a screening colonoscopy. Now I certainly know of the importance of getting this test. However, I also I have an anxiety disorder. Deciding to get this done was no easy decision. I’ve always had a fear of anesthesia, especially if I’m getting put to sleep and can’t control my own airway. I’ve also heard real horror stories. Most of these were minor regarding the nasty prep but a few are legitimate concerns. I’ve heard of patients who developed a perforation afterwards or even one who caught hepatitis from an improperly sterilized scope. So I was scared. Ultimately, I decided that any discomfort from the test sure beats having colorectal cancer. I had shamed my husband into getting his screening colonoscopy a few years earlier so I decided to man up and get it done. Fast forward 5 months and I am out on medical leave for having an unrelated surgical procedure. Two weeks before returning to work, I decided it was the perfect time to schedule this procedure. I was already out on leave so I wouldn’t have to waste a vacation day. I visited the gastroenterologist to get cleared for the procedure and I voiced my concerns. I woke up during an upper endoscopy a few years earlier. Although it wasn’t a painful experience, I didn’t want to wake up for this. He said they would give me Propofol (Diprivan). Propofol is a hypnotic agent that came into the news when it was supposedly being administered to Michael Jackson (at home) when he died. That was a little concerning, but totally different circumstances. I hoped my anesthesiologist wasn’t going to be taking a bathroom break or sleeping during my procedure. I also told my doctor that I did not want to have to drink a gallon of any nasty tasting stuff. He gave me instructions to buy two Ducolax (laxatives) and Miralax, which is a powder you mix with fluid to make you go, go, go. The day before the procedure, I was able to eat a light breakfast (boiled egg, toast, juice and tea) but after that, I was restricted to clear liquids such as Jell-O, Ginger ale, Gatorade and tea. His motto was, if I could see though it, I could have it as long as it wasn’t something red or purple. Apparently, this can be mistaken for blood during the exam. I took the 2 Ducolax at 4 PM and was instructed to wait for my first BM or 2 hours, whichever came first. It took about an hour and a half to produce results but it was nothing horrible. After that, I was supposed to mix the Miralax with a quart of my favorite clear liquid and drink a glass every 10- 15 minutes until gone. They recommended Gatorade but I wasn’t sure I liked it enough to drink a whole quart so I just mixed it with water. That was my first mistake. Even though Miralax does not have a strong taste, it thickens the liquid and gives it a slimy consistency. So it was gross to chug down. My second mistake was that I wasn’t sure how big the “glass” should be. I know now that it should have been an 8 oz glass but I chose one of my dinner glasses, which probably holds 16 oz. The good news is that I got the whole quart down in an hour. The bad news is that I started feeling queasy. I started to sweat because I hate to spew. Fortunately, I never ralphed and the medication started to work about an hour later. I was squirting like a goose and I swear I saw food I ate back from 1962! I knew I shouldn’t have laughed at my husband when he went through it because now I had to endure his cat-calls and commentary each time I raced to the bathroom. Most of it was over with by 10 PM, although I did get up once in the middle of the night. I woke up at 7 AM and had a few more rounds but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. I considered myself fortunate because my husband had to drink something really vile tasting, not once but twice. He had to get up in the middle of the night to repeat drinking his mixture. My appointment was for 0930. I was really nervous when I got to the surgi-center, especially since I didn’t see any bathrooms in their waiting room. Fortunately, by then, my body was done expelling every ounce of liquid so I had no problems. After getting to the prep area, I put on the little gown and they started an IV. I voiced my fears with the nurse anesthetist, who assured me she would be in the room with me the entire time. I was hooked up to a heart monitor and pulse oximetry unit, which also made me feel a little better about the situation. The Propofol looks a little bit like milk and burned a tiny bit, which is the last thing I remember before waking up in the recovery area. I didn’t get sick and nothing hurt. Whew. A note to the newly initiated: they pump your colon full of air during the procedure. When you wake up, you will be tooting like a woodwind orchestra. It was odorless but I got ribbed from my husband, who threatened to record my symphony on his cell phone. My test was normal and the doctor gave me a copy of my colon photos, which I posted on my Facebook page in honor of Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month (March 2011). A few of my friends replied with cries of “TMI”, which is why I decided to write this review. I’ve worked in a hospital for so long, I’ve become immune to the shame that a lot of people have regarding these kind of procedures. I forget that some people get grossed out by the human body. Even some of my medical co-workers are embarrassed to discuss this. I’ll spare you the photos but I wanted to write about this to reduce the stigma that goes with getting a colonoscopy. If this review reminds even ONE person to schedule a screening colonoscopy, my job is done. An early diagnosis can save a life. If you are over 50 and reading this, git-r-done!  |
| Read all comments (3)|Write your own comment |
![Jersey Boys [Original Broadway Cast Recording] by Original Broadway Cast Reviews](http://di2.shopping.com/images/pi/95/a4/8a/2006752046-100x100-0-0.jpg?p=p14.2f39d795d3c7679e0f65&a=2&c=1&l=8071320&t=120603125848&r=2)
