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A Lesson from Parking Lot Road RageApr 13 '11 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line I'm forgiven
Years ago I pulled into a parking spot at a shopping center and was getting out of the car when I noticed the hulking mass of a black GMC Yukon had stopped behind me. The lady driving the vehicle rolled down her window. I expected her to tell me something about a low tire, burnt out bulb or cup of coffee resting on the roof of my car. Instead, this total stranger unleashed a string of profanity telling me in no uncertain terms that she didn’t like me. I certainly didn’t recognize her vehicle or face. My only guess was that she wanted the parking spot that I took and I somehow didn’t see her signalling for it. I told her, “I’m sorry. Did you want this space?” I sincerely was ready to move my car for her even though there were plenty of other spaces in the lot. She simply and quite angrily replied, “Go to hell.” and drove off under the influence of whatever fit had possessed her. Did she think that I was being sarcastic when I apologized? Was I telling her, “please take this space if that’s what I did to offend you,” while she was hearing, “Ha ha, I got this spot before you could, oh look how sorry I’m not!” I spent weeks upset by this encounter. Why did the opinion of a stranger bother me so much? She couldn’t possibly know what was on my heart. She couldn’t possibly know that I’m not the kind of person who would steal a parking spot, or purposely cut someone off in traffic, or do whatever it was that had rankled her ire. It just isn’t my nature. I suppose a part of me was angry that people don’t talk. Part of me was mad because people don’t listen. I was upset because the first impression that I gave someone was that I was a jerk. I try very hard to not be a jerk. Perhaps most disturbing to me was the fact that I would never know what I did to earn the unbridled hatred of a stranger. I’ve sometimes annoyed teachers and trainers because I have to know why things are the way they are. It’s just the way I’m wired. It’s a big part of why one of my degrees is in history. I’ve always needed to know why things work the way they do and are the way they are. But I suppose that mostly I didn’t like being judged by someone unqualified to judge me. 2 Peter 1:5 In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. That’s the way I want to live my life. It’s the way I try to live my life. It grieves me when people somehow perceive something contrary to that. Of course I got over the anger of that stranger. But there have been similar curve balls since that day. It was even harder to understand when people who should know me apparently judged me in a similar vein to that complete stranger. Perhaps the problem is that we can never really know another person’s heart. As human beings we are all flawed. We fail to communicate even when we’re trying. Even those who we love the most and attempt to be the most transparent with in our relationship cannot know our every thought and motivation any more than we can really know theirs. Communication between two people is imperfect. Just like the lady in the Yukon who might well have decided that I was simply being sarcastic, the imperfect medium of language is sometimes heard differently than it is spoken. The question in my mind is what am I meant to take away from these experiences? I know that God is good and wants only good things for me. Recently a friend shared the encouragement of Jeremiah 29:11 with me, For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. His lessons aren’t always as gentle as I’d like, but I guess that’s my fault for being stubborn. So what is the message that this stubborn heart is missing? Am I meant to put my faith in God but not in people? That was my first thought with people who have let me down recently. I don’t think that’s the point though, not completely anyway. Certainly we can trust God to never fail us. Isaiah 26:4 Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock. People will fail us because they are imperfect. But what a lonely cynical life we’d live if we cast aside all of our trust for each other. How can we have love without trust? God didn’t intend for us to go through this life without the support of friends and family and frankly without that support, I’d be weeping in a corner somewhere right now. If we’re trying to live a Christlike life we need to love one another. John 15:12 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. So I’m back to the problem of judgement. We’ve all been judged unfairly by people. One obvious issue is that we, as flawed people, cannot pass judgement with insinuating our expectations, experiences and prejudices upon another person’s words and actions. But more important is the fact that we can never truly know the heart of another. Still, it’s in our nature to judge people. We do it all the time for the way they dress, the way the act, the things they like. Matthew 7:1 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged." Perhaps the most important thing I can take away from this is that there is only One who sees everything that I’ve done. God knows that I would have given that woman in the Yukon my parking spot. He knows that I’d never do a thing to hurt friends who have rejected me nonetheless. He also knows every time that I’ve messed up. God knows that I’m flawed, imperfect, falling short of a Christlike life, sometimes on a daily basis. He knows that I’ve lied, stolen, cheated, been disrespectful. He knows my every thought and He still forgives me. Romans 3:23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 24 Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. The bottom line is that there are three bottom lines. First, we should be careful about passing judgement on others. No one likes to be judged and we simply aren’t qualified. Second, when someone does pass judgement on us wrongfully, we need to return it with forgiveness. Forgiveness is the best salve for wounds caused by the indiscriminate finger of blame. Third, we need to remember that God knows the truth, both good and bad. People will let us down sometimes, but He never will. Perhaps someday I will see that woman with the Yukon in heaven and we will have a laugh about the time in the parking lot when she tells me she was actually yelling at the man behind me, or I tell her I wasn’t being sarcastic at all. More importantly, I will see those lost friends there who will be lost friends no more.  |
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