Final Something-or-Other...
Written: Feb 28 '02
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Product Rating:
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Pros: At least it looks pretty
Cons: Whose idea was that horrible battle system?
The Bottom Line: This game mocks the good name of the Final Fantasy series.
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| BaronSamedi3's Full Review: Final Fantasy VIII for PlayStation 1 |
Remember back when Final Fantasy 6 was released for the Super NES? All the fanboys were yelling about how it couldn't get any better, and how the series could only get worse from there. With the release of Final Fantasy 7, the fanboys screamed about how they were right, the series had begun its downward spiral. But with Final Fantasy 8, the fanboys' predictions about a continued downward spiral were finally proven wrong. Final Fantasy 8 didn't continue the downward spiral. Instead, it plunged the series into a sharp drop off the Grand Canyon.
Oh, sure it was this big commercial hit. But that didn't protect Squaresoft from the wrath of thousands of angry Final Fantasy fans across the globe who demanded that the traditional elements be returned to the series.
Final Fantasy 8 is undeniably the worst game in the entire series, thanks in part to the overinflated-by-massive-success egos of the people at Square who decided to use it as something of a lab rat-something to experiment on, despite how the general public feels about it. The egomaniacs took everything that made the series successful in the first place and tossed it right out the window in favor of all this weird new stuff that even the converts who came with the success of Final Fantasy 7 hated. But I'll get to the crap in a moment.
First, I have to get the good stuff out of the way. The visuals are pure eye candy all the way. The characters all look incredibly lifelike, and the backgrounds are all beautifully rendered down to amazing detail. Isn't Rinoa hot? The cutscenes are gorgeous, even if the characters do appear to be floating on air sometimes. One thing bugs me, though: This game, like its predessesor, lacks color. But while Final Fantasy 7 kept the scenery dark enough to get away with it, the graphics in this game are consistently bright, so the designers really needed to make better use of the spectrum. As it happens, the beautiful graphics are about as drab as they come.
The second good point is the story, or just one of its elements at least. I'll get to the main story in a minute, so bear with me. One of the side stories involves the main character, Squall, falling asleep and entering a dream world where he sees everything through the eyes of a man named Laguna. Squall can't figure out what his mysterious connection to Laguna is, and part of his motivation is to find out. Although it doesn't have any impact on the main story in the long run, it's just captivating enough to keep you playing until you at least find out.
I promised I'd get to this: Bashing. Let the games begin! Alright, first, before I forget, Let me tell you how much the music sucks. I've heard music suck before, but not like this. Not one track in this game is worth remembering. Not one. Especially not the overworld theme, which is so boring and simplistic it could have been heard on an old 8-bit system. Perhaps the composer was on strike.
Second, the storyline and its pointlessly confusing twists. The main story revolves around a military cadet named Squall, who is hired to assist in the asassination attempt of a scorceress named Edea. But as the idea that Edea is the one you're really after slowly fizzles out, the plot begins taking such wild, ridiculous twists that half the time you don't know what you're up against. By the time you figure it out, you don't care anymore. The other main story, of course, is the blooming love between Squall and the main girl, Rinoa. Or at least it's supposed to bloom. The problem with this is that Squall is such a prick that any other girl would have given up on him right after the second pass, and as for Rinoa, well, despite the clear signs from Squall that he doesn't want to have anything to do with her, she does everything short of strutting around nude in ceaselessly futile attempts to get the point across. Even when Squall finally admits to himself that he has fallen for Rinoa, he still doesn't act on it. The back and forth between the two of them is so annoying that when they finally (supposedly) hook up in the end, you just don't care anymore. For a good love story, just watch Alex and Luna in Lunar: Silver Star Story.
It would be bad enough if Squall and Rinoa were the only two characters, hollow as they are, but Square pushed the limits of being plain offensive with the newest group of of WB teenagers who set out to save the world. Of course there is Squall, the lone wolf prick. Yeah, Cloud was a prick in the last game, but by the end, he was a strong leader who faced up to the fact that the fate of the world rested on his shoulders. Squall, though, never really changes. Even after he sheds the rock-hard exterior, he's still a selfish lone wolf. Rinoa is annoying and whiny. The others are underdeveloped, faceless, and hollow. You have Seifer, the bad guy who would sell out his own mother. You have Quistis, who secretly has feelings for Squall (what is it with women and lone wolves?) but doesn't admit it. You have Selphie, the cheerful one; Zell, the excited one; and Irvine, the ladies' man. Laguna isn't such a bad character, but his brutes, Kiros and Ward, aren't even worth mentioning.
The story may be bad, but it's nothing compared to the true downfall of Final Fantasy 8: The gameplay. Now up to be battered, the infamous junction system. I'll be nice here and give Square credit for trying something new, because I'm sure this looked like a good idea on paper. How it works is that you draw magic from enemies and attach it to your stats to raise them. Sound good? But get this: To draw magic, you have to waste a turn in battle while the enemy gets a free shot at you. And since you attach it to your stats, this means your stats go down whenever you cast a spell. Nice, huh? But don't worry, you'll be able to accumulate enough magic to get your stats up there, because most magic affects the bad guys less than a level 1 black mage attack affects a final boss. With magic not an option in battle, where do you turn next? Weapons. But you won't be using them often, either, because they're even more useless, except for limit breaks. But you only get limit breaks when your HP falls below a certain amount, so to use them as a primary attack option is to stare death in the face during the simplest encounters. Weapons and magic are out. So what do you use? Guardian Forces. The summon spells. All customization revolves around GFs-you need GFs to have junctions and use any abilities outside of attack and item. Late in the game, they are the only weapons that do any serious damage. But they also have five-minute animations that can't be skipped. So, between useless weapons and five-minute animations, battles always take forever.
Square changed more than the battle system this time around. Still being half on the subject of battles, why don't I start with weapon upgrades? No longer can you just walk into a store and buy a weapon. Now you have to collect magazines that tell you what parts you need to upgrade your weapon, then go around the world, finding those parts in bad guys that will wipe out your entire party in one fell swoop. No armor or MP, either. But look at the bright side: You don't actually need new weapons or armor, because whenever Squall gains a level,so does every bad guy in the game. The bad guys all have levels parallel to Squall's level, so the bad guy that gave you fits in the beginning will still be giving you fits near the end. Now, let's see... Levels don't mean squat, don't need new weapons, don't need to fight to earn gil... Hey! That means combat in this game is completely unesessary and utterly useless and pointless! And once you have the Encounter-none ability, you need never fight another random battle!
To try to keep your interest, Square threw in a card game. The way it works is too confusing for me to try to explain, and I can never get those combo techniques that are supposed to work to work, so I won't bother going into a lot of detail. I think the computer cheats. The game is made even more of a nightmare by regional rules, which not only change according to the region, but can be spread. And you have a fair number of side quests, but by the time you can access them, you'll have laid this game to rest... Six feet under.
Have we gotten the point yet? I hope so. Final Fantasy 8 is not only the worst Final Fantasy game ever, it is one of the worst rpgs ever. If I was trapped on a desert island with only this game to entertain me, I'd probably swim for it.
Recommended:
No
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BaronSamedi3
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Location: Chicago
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Doing work on my blog: http://phoenixinquirer.wordpress.com/
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