This Stealth Write-off is intended to cheer up Smithswoodside. I'm not sure how "Stealth-like" we all were, but our intentions were good. And you know what they say about intentions and the road to hell...Shall we begin?

In light of the recent "butt exposition" here on Epinions, I've been engaging in a bit of introspection. For this, I always have a Mountain Dew chilling in the fridge. Come to think of it, I have a Mountain Dew chilling in the fridge for any situation that may arise. Might I suggest an ice cold MD while viewing a movie such as Gaby-A True Story (http://www.epinions.com/content_60179451524). You see, others have addictions to alcohol, some have addictions to drugs, and even a few folks I've known have an addiction to bad boys. My own is simple: Mountain Dew.

Mountain Dew is the finest Pepsi product on the market. Pepsi is inferior to Coke in the same way that Mello Yello is inferior to Mountain Dew. The folks at Mountain Dew say that it is currently the #3 soft drink in all the land, but maybe they need to drive down South to do those tests. Every redneck I know (that includes me) loves this stuff! There may be a logical reason for my theory: The flavor of Mountain Dew was actually developed in Marion, Virginia and the drink began in Knoxville, Tennessee. The Dew is a cool, refreshing citrus drink that is chock-full of caffeine to enhance your everyday energy levels. I have had people tell me that they know people who have actually died from drinking too much Mountain Dew; never believe them. It is an urban legend. Mountain Dew is the elixir of the Gods.

Just so you know exactly what the Gods drink, Mountain Dew has 110 calories, 50 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of sugar, and 37 milligrams of caffeine in every cup of it. Hey, I never said it was Slim Fast! You can get the stuff in Diet, Caffeine Free, and Diet Caffeine-Free, but Jeez Louise, everybody needs to live a little.

Mountain Dew also has a new cousin: Code Red. For those of you who like a red drink, this is intriguing. But alas, it cannot compare to the original, as is the case with so many things.

Aside from being the drink of Greatness, those old bottles can really be worth something. The Mountain Dew bottles featuring the hillbilly (it was available in the late 60's) sell for between $5-$10 bucks apiece! Now you can enjoy Mountain Dew in cans, plastic bottles and in 2 or 3-liter sizes. I prefer mine ice cold right out of the can.

Now, Mountain Dew not only wins the taste test, but its commercials rule over any other drink out there (including, but not limited to those stupid Budweiser Frogs). My favorites are the golf cart tip-over and the boy who butts heads with a ram. If you've missed those, you must stay home tonight and watch until you see them.

But I digress. I was mentioning my urge to do the Dew while engaging in some introspection. It seems lately on Epinions people are just bristling at any little infraction that Epinions throws our way. As I've been thinking about the news of Smithswoodside's recent health problems, and those of some of my other friends that I've made here, such as ImAmes, I realize that I really don't care if someone shows their rear here once in a while. Or if someone revenge rates a review of mine. Or if someone writes an off-topic review. I'm just grateful to belong to a site where everyone does seem to care about one another, even if once in a while we have spats amongst ourselves. Gosh, that sounds like every family I've ever met. So, here's to you Peter; *raising my cup of Dew, * may you live long, prosper and continue to make us laugh with your crude jokes in the Nest, and your own brand of humor that you bring to each review you write. The world is definitely a better place with you in it.

Thanks for reading! If you would like to see all of the other fine participants in this write-off, please visit www.writersgetaway.net/write-off.htm.


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