(...I'll brew some COWBOY COFFEE instead of using this pot!)
Four score and seven reviews ago, our thoughts turned as one to that Australian tour guide, Smithswoodside, who has taken Epinionators on many a wild wide as we explore his country with him. The story was told and rumors spread, and it was told to me by Granniemose that he might have a brain tumor (not to be confused with brain tuber which is a plant that grows wild and is harvested by pigs in Australia). Oh No!
Of Course my first thought is that somehow EPINIONS CAUSES BRAIN TUMORS. Ergo we should all exit stage right. Actually, that premise might go far in explaining all the bizarre acting out phenomena manifesting in pockets all over the site lately....but no, it was a potential tragedy, and it was scary and it was real. The purpose of this STEALTH write-off is to write a product review, and somehow make it cheerful to Peter (alias Smithswoodside) in the face of all adversity. Thank GOD He allowed this to be less than a tumor, so we will be allowed to continue our journeys and adventures with Peter.
I tried to think of some adventure to entertain and occupy SMITHSWOODSIDE should he show up at our local airport looking for a good time, and I realized that there wasn't much to see in my neck of the woods. And I also realized that we can go farther in our imaginations than any train, plane, or automobile could carry us.
The only time we sit down and talk at my house is during that first cup of coffee, and we often talk about our discoveries on Epinions, and our friends here as well.
So why not grab a cup of coffee, made in your new HAMILTON BEACH coffee maker, and let's shoot the breeze?
THE POT
Capacity:
-The Carafe is supposed to hold 10-12 cups (and it does)
-However, the reservoir for the water barely holds 10 cups.
-Adding water after the brewing starts will probably result in overflowing the pot, leaving a huge mess to contend with.
Tip: Take the first cup out while the coffee is still brewing and then add about 16 oz to the water reservoir.
FEATURES:
-Full flavor function allows more saturation of the grounds by turning off the pot in 30 second intervals for the first five cups
---the advantage of this is a stronger cup of coffee
---the disadvantage is that it takes longer to make your coffee.
- Hot plate with automatic shut off
This will allow your coffee pot to be on for an hour then it will automatically shut down.
-It will stop brewing when you lift the carafe to pour while the coffee is being brewed, but if it takes more than 20 seconds the pot will overflow and that mess is back.
-Clock and programmable brewing
---the advantage is obvious and workable if you are compulsive enough to program everything in your life.
---disadvantages are that it doesn't have a voice command, does not clean itself, doesn't fill the water reservoir or the brew basket itself, and requires too much work in preparation before you go to bed.
OK there you have it. We get our cup of coffee..which at our house means a mug of coffee, which is about 14 oz of coffee, meaning that there is enough coffee for you and two other people to have two cups, before you have to clean up and start again. So you need to limit your conversation to the hour the pot is still on.
Now limiting me, Smithswoodside and Granniemose to a one-hour conversation, is asking a lot. I think instead I'll opt for good old fashioned Cowboy coffee (learned driving cows in Colorado). I'll throw some water in a pot, toss in a double handful of coffee grounds, and let'er boil until I think it is done. I can explain to Peter that in our neck-o-the woods, coffee grounds are appetizers, and he should "go native" and expect to find some grounds in his teeth before the pot is gone. Think he'll buy that?
Anyway Peter and my Mom will be off having an adventure and I'll be left at home drinking coffee and feeling sorry for myself. They'll be tired, having chased Bin Laden somewhere into the North Carolina Swamps, and I'll be buzzing around my computer trying to review some movie, chewing on old coffee grounds.
Life can be tough sometimes.
Personally, I'd like to know exactly what is growing inside Peter's head. Is it something we could all use? If so, I want one! As I've said many times before, Peter...I love ya. I do have the utmost sympathy for your wife.
Please take a minute and check out Lynus sponsored ' April Fool' write-off...see member LYNUS profile page for all the links.
Sorry I'm late. A four letter word held me from posting on time.
(W-O-R-K)
(4/07/02)
***Failing to follow the rules can result in removal of any or all hats, including the beanie with the propellar and the lampshade....oops too late.***
For amends...
PLEASE take a look at the LYNUS April fools write-off entries, by the people whose names folow and preceede my name in the list, alphabetically. I have read them all and they are all outststanding!
(Alex_lslt- Andy Warhol's TRASH review )
http://www.epinions.com/content_59992673924
(Bluehawq's THE OTHER review)
http://www.epinions.com/content_60190461572
Then, if you want to see who all is here toasting and roasting Peter Smith, go to
http://www.writersgetaway.net/write-off.htm
My apologies for failing to read the directions. I'm always left with spare parts!
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