SCADS Inspired by Inspiron 8100™
Written: Apr 24 '02 (Updated May 01 '04)
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Pros: See SCADS below.
Cons: See more SCADS below.
The Bottom Line: I dig my laptop, oh yes I do. I dig my laptop, and so would you.
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| blackmonolith's Full Review: Dell Inspiron 8100 Series |
Both of us being as timely as someone who's not, officer and I decided that it was high time we offer our SCADS to the Epinions community. After all, the one and only reason we contribute to Epinions is to help consumers make better buying decisions™, and the only way to achieve that is through disciplined SCADictation. And what better time to present our labors of love then today — the birthday of everyone's favorite leopard-skin-thong-wearing snake-charmer, badkittyM.
Let the consumerly-helpfulness™ begin! Or continue, I should say.
Dude, yer gettin' a Dell™!
Shut the heck up. I already got a Dell™. The Inspiron 8100™, to be specific. It certainly took me long enough. Being a self-professed technology geek, it was surprising to many of my closest disciples that it took so long for me to take the home-computer plunge. Back when I was employed many moons ago, I had my own computer at work. Any emailing I needed to do, any shopperly-beneficial epinions I needed to write, any cyber-porn I needed to procure — I could do it all from work, and spend my hard-earned cash on other things, like my super-swanky home theater system. But as soon as I lost my job, I soon felt trapped. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't connect with friends as often as I wanted. I couldn't offer my sage SCADocity to the community. I couldn't procure pix of busty amateur redheads. I was feeling detached from the world around me, and I needed to do something about it.
I knew I wanted a laptop, because I have no good place in my apartment to put a desktop computer where I could viddy my TV, or be in a nice position to slooshy my sweet sound system. I also thought it would be neat to have a laptop right here on my coffee table — if inspiration struck to write an exceedingly insightful review on a movie I was watching, or some shampoo, the laptop would be within reach. If I was watching the World Series, I could instantly vote in Fox.com's silly polls. And if I had both the good and bad fortune of running across Exit to Eden on the USA Network, I wouldn't have to remind myself later to look for pictures of a SCADily clad Dana Delany on the net — I could fulfill that civic duty immediately!
I called up a friend of mine who's very in-the-know about computers, Audio Pimp Daddy (you may recognize him from tootsweet824's nipple-pinching saga about her extra-juicy sound system — it's a damned shame that man doesn't publish his SCADS for all the world to see). I told him what I wanted in my laptop: it had to be overbuilt with a mondo processor, and tons of memory capabilities and hard drive space. It had to be built by a company with a good laptop track record. It had to have a pointing stick for the mouse pointer, instead of, or in addition to, a TouchPad (having worked at IBM using their ThinkPads, I came to prefer what I call The Nipple over the TouchPad). And the company from which I'd purchase the model would have to excel at customer service. Oh yeah... and it had to be sexy.
My requiring The Nipple really narrowed things down. As far as we knew, only IBM and Dell offered this mouse pointer arrangement. With Dell's reputation for good customer service, the decision became clear. Get a Dell™, dude.
Wouldja please stop saying that?
Thrilled that I was finally gonna get my own PC, I called up Dell (in late October, 2001), and we configured a very sexy system. I reasoned: as long as I'm spending a chunk of money on this, I might as well go all the way with the options. After all, I wouldn't be buying another computer for another fifteen years, so like I said, I wanted it to be overbuilt. The Dell guy informed me that the model and features I selected would result in a pretty heavy machine (about 8 lbs.), but I didn't care. I'm not exactly a world traveler; this machine would spend most of its time sitting on my coffee table. Even if I were unexpectedly called away to Abu Dhabi on business, I'd soon be resuming my routine on the Bowflex, so the weight didn't concern me.[1]
Dell offers two lines of notebook computers: Inspiron and Latitude. Because the Latitude line is geared more toward those who need heavy networking capabilities, I decided to go with the Inspiron. It's sexier anyway.
SCADS of detail on what I got
Guts
My super-phat Dell Inspiron™ 8100 is one swanky machine. I got the speediest processor available at the time: 1.2Ghz Intel® Pentium® III (Pentium 4s were not yet available in laptops, but they are now). I got the biggest hard drive available at the time, at 48 Gigabytes (now you can go up to 60 Gigs). I held off, however, on going overboard with memory (upgradeable to 512MB), because I intend to upgrade that separately (it'll be much cheaper that way), so I went with 128MB of PC133 SDRAM (I'm told this is the minimum requirement to run Windows XP). So, as you may have surmised, this puppy is loaded with the Windows XP Pro operating system (the upgrade from the XP Home to XP Pro was about $80, and I was assured that its higher/speedier capabilities were worth it).
Display
The 8100 is fat as well as phat. Along with being able to give me the best in processor speed, memory capacity and hard drive capacity (again, all at the time of purchase), this laptop's also the biggest puppy in the bunch. The screen size is 15.001" viewable. Nice!! Instead of choosing the standard SXGA display, which would give me (correct me if I'm wrong) a maximum pixel resolution of 1280x1024, I went with the state-of-the-art UXGA display (the "U" stands for "Ultra"), which gives me a maximum of 1600x1200 resolution. Nice!!![2] The picture quality is awesome — colors look crisp and accurate, fine lines are rendered sharply, and the brightness and contrast are perfect (I've never had to adjust them). The display is driven by the NVIDIA GeForce2 Go™ 3D video card (32MB). More on this little troublemaker later.
Media Bay
I had the option of choosing Dell's combo DVD/CD-RW disc drive, which could play DVDs and burn and play CDs, but I decided to go with the regular CD-RW (burner) instead. I already have a DVD player in my home theater system, so I saw no need to have DVD capabilities on my PC just yet. Another reason I chose to go with the simpler drive is that, if just one part of that combo drive goes south (e.g., the DVD part of the drive), then all of its capabilities would go south (i.e., CD reading and burning). No thanks. In the future, however, I may invest in a DVD burner. It'll be an additional modular drive — I'll be able to remove the modular 3.5" floppy drive (located at the front of the laptop, to the left), and slide that puppy in there when the time comes. So, the internal 8X CD-RW drive is situated on the left side of the machine, and my guess is that the hard drive and battery occupy the right side of the unit.
Connectivity
The rear panel of the 8100 sports two USB ports, one serial port, and one parallel port — all for connecting peripherals such as a printer, scanner, external ZIP drive, external hard drive, or a nutty bunny. There's a single input for connecting an external mouse or keyboard; you can't have both at the same time, but I don't need either of them. Also found back there are hookups for a docking station and an external monitor, and the AC power vagina.
On the right side of the machine, you'll find the coveted IEEE1394 (FireWire) connection, convenient for hooking up your digital camera, CD-Recorder, and other swanky things (the FireWire's data transfer rate is 400Mbps, as opposed the 12Mbps achieved by USB ports). In the same vicinity are jacks for headphones, a microphone, and external speakers. These four jacks are located just under the two slots used for network cards and such. The internet connections — one normal telephone jack and one cap-5 Ethernet port (it looks like a butch phone port) — are also on the right, near the front of the machine.
On the left side is a single Audio/Video output. Looking deceptively like a round 4-pin S-Video output, it's actually a 7-pin jack, to which you connect a small adapter (provided). From the adapter, you can output S-Video or composite-video, and digital audio (a coaxial RCA-type connection). Because the only audio output is coaxial digital audio (this is surprising), you'll most likely only be able to output the complete A/V signal to a compatible A/V receiver (most TVs and VCRs don't have that kind of audio input).
Keyboard and mouse stuff — elSCADorations on how it all works and feels
Not surprisingly, Dell opted to lay their keyboard out in the standard Sholes keyboard configuration.[3] Even so, a problem occurred immediately.
Now that's what I call a sticky situation!
The spacebar situation, that is. It kept sticking, but only when I used my right thumb (the way I've always typed). I remember thinking that this was certainly not helpful to me, the consumer who had already made his buying decision. The problem didn't work itself out as I had hoped, so I called Dell and they dispatched a techie to replace the keyboard. Before his arrival, I had to learn typing spaces with my left thumb, which seemed to take forever. He replaced the keyboard, and all is well now (my typing is back up to speed — 1,800 WPM, thank you very much).[4] Overall, the keyboard provides a very nice tactile response — the kind with a click payoff, if ya know what I mean.
"small" problems
My main keyboard complaint would be that the keys making up the 6-key editing/navigation cluster, located just above the Backspace key (Delete, Insert, Home, End, Page Up and Page Down) are too small — they are little more than half the size of the other keys.[5] I usually have to focus on hitting those keys quite deliberately. Perhaps those keys could be bigger if they made room by getting rid of the TouchPad.
I love nipples
Like I said, I've always preferred The Nipple. What straight guy wouldn't? But besides the mammarical motive, I have a very good reason for my preference. The Nipple, nestled between the G-H-B key triumvirate (clearly a subliminal endorsement of body-building metabolites on the part of Dell), is very conveniently located, as are the mouse buttons associated with it (they are contoured into the bottom of the spacebar). This superior ergonomic arrangement allows me to keep my mousing hand right on the keyboard while my fingers are placed on the "home" keys (J K L ;). If I were using the TouchPad, I'd have to keep moving my hand back and forth between the two, taking time to reorient my hand with the keyboard. Screw that noise! With my beloved Nipple, I'm always at the ready for both typing and mousing. The Nipple's left-click (normal) button is slightly concave; my thumb feels quite nice nestled in there. The right-click button, tightly adjacent to the left-click, is smaller — just a little too small and a little too close to left-click for my taste, but it's alright. Below them is the Evil TouchPad — at about 2 1/2" wide x 1 7/8" deep, it takes up a lot of the available space below the keyboard.[6] For those who would dare use the TouchPad, its corresponding mouse buttons are just below it, and they are very large compared with those owned by The Nipple.
Incidentally, the left-click button that I use broke off two months ago (my system was only four months old at the time). Instead of being tension-hinged to where it's mounted, there are two tiny plastic tabs that hold it in place. With this design, give it enough (or a little) time, and a break is inevitable.
Circumventing the TouchPad
If Dell offered a configuration that eschewed the TouchPad entirely, I'd take it. In that perfect world, the editing/navigation keys (along with Esc and the Function keys) that are too small for my taste would then have room to get large. Incidentally, I wanted to disable the TouchPad so that accidental brushes of my hand's heel would not lead to erroneous mouse movements. Surprisingly, I was not able to do this by going into the Control Panel's mouse settings. That is, not until I first, under the guidance of a Dell rep, visited Synaptics' website to download the TouchPad driver. Strange that it wasn't pre-loaded onto this laptop. Anyway, with that installed, the mouse settings dialog box was augmented with an "Advanced" tab that allowed me to disable the damned TouchPad. Unfortunately, I'm unable to disable the larger mouse buttons associated with the TouchPad, which makes no sense. Yes, I sometimes hit those accidentally too (hey, you know what they say about guys with big hands, right?). Perhaps I should have gone with the IBM ThinkPad after all, which shuns the whole TouchPad module entirely (and no, that's not what they say about guys with big hands).
Hey, who's drivin' this thing?
Heh heh, funny thing about my mouse pointer. About once every two days, the pointer will suddenly start moving by itself. I remember experiencing this back at IBM on the ThinkPad. It's only slightly annoying, and is a phenomenon that lasts just a minute or two. Sometimes, it'll move slowly; other times, it'll zip right along. "Hey, where ya goin'?" If I finger The Nipple in the opposite direction, I can feel the resistance (and if I go with the flow, my pointer breaks the land speed record). I'm guessing this only happens on laptops outfitted with The Nipple. Anyone else run into this strange occurrence where it appears that your laptop PC is temporarily possessed by Steve Jobs?
Two-faced keys
(To be clear, when I say "Function Key," I mean the single key located next to the left Control (Ctrl) key. When I say "Function Keys," I mean F1 through F12.)
Several keys pull double duty via the Function key (Fn are the letters they chose to represent it — Fn is not the symbol for Fennel on the Periodic Table of Elements). Using Function in conjunction[7] with certain keys can make some very exciting things happen. Use it with the Up and Down Arrow keys to adjust the display's brightness; screen contrast is adjusted with the Left and Right Arrow keys. Use Fn with F10, and the CD tray will eject! Use it with End, and it mutes and unmutes the speakers; Page Up is Volume Up, and you guess it... Page Down is Volume Down. Now, you would think that hitting Num Lock alone would allow you to use the designated character keys as a number pad, but in order to use these keys as numbers, you must have Num Lock engaged and use the Fn key with each stroke.[8] That seems silly to me — Num Lock doesn't really "lock" then, does it.
The display device debacle (a SCADly serious problem)
Okay, from Day One, my computer had been crashing. 99.44% of the time, the NVIDIA GeForce2 Go™ video card, or Windows XP's incompatibility with that video card, was the culprit. Usually (but not always), it'd happen when I was surfing the net with Internet Explorer (version 6.0). The computer would freeze, and after I'd hit CTRL+ALT+DEL, the Blue Screen Of Death would pop up, and a second later the screen would go black (this didn't give me much time to read the SCADiferously helpful info listed on the BSOD). Crashola. After the automatic restart, Windows XP would inform me that the video card was indeed the cause of the problem. The reason listed was either "the display device was caught in an endless loop," or "the display device was unable to complete a drawing operation." The nifty thing about XP is that, when something like this happens, it prepares an error report and sends it to Microsoft via your internet connection, if you choose to have it do so. Most of the time, I chose to send the error report. The un-nifty thing about this is that Microsoft has never contacted me via email about the problem, as promised. Supposedly, whether or not they contact the user who encountered the problem, they use this error reporting system to procure instant feedback regarding their continuing inability to get things right, thus allowing them to issue fixes and build better software versions.
After crashing in this manner on the average of once or twice a day, I called Dell, and they emailed me an updated driver for the display device (which was also found on their website at http://support.dell.com). Installing the updated driver did nothing to prevent the frequency of crashes. After more calls, a different Dell support person advised me to download NVIDIA's own driver from their site. I downloaded the Detonator display driver from NVIDIA, installed it, and the crashes kept a-comin'. Damn. The next Dell supporter walked me through uninstalling the driver completely, thus forcing Windows to install its own native (aboriginal) driver. This was better, but it still sucked. It continued to crash, but it happened a little less often — about once every two days.
Finally I convinced Dell to send a technician to replace the video card. A couple of days later, it was installed... and I still had my crashes. But now I had an additional problem. Though the first video card (or XP's problem with it) was causing crashes, there was no problem with the video display itself. That was always fine. But after they replaced the card, I had both display problems and crashing. Damn damn. Sometimes, if I started the computer, or revived it from Standby mode (hibernation), instead of seeing my desktop, I'd see an ugly black screen with a few oddly spaced vertical lines spanning the height of the screen, colored solid blue, green and red. This would happen almost every other time I started or woke up the computer.
Fuming, I called Dell and gave them the bad news. Acknowledging that this was a "known problem," (though some supporters were more in-the-know than others), they said that they'd finally, definitively concluded that the problem really did lie with Windows XP. They suggested that I download both an updated bios for XP, and an even newer updated video driver. Clicking on the bios exe file on my desktop, it wrote the new bios onto a floppy disc. I then restarted the computer with the floppy disc in the A drive, and it updated my system's bios. I removed the floppy, restarted again, and then installed this newest display driver. I was told that this procedure would cure both of my problems. It cured one. The crashing had gone away (woo hoo!), but that ugly display problem remained.
Bottom line (aka SCADly conclusion): the crashing problem was Microsoft's fault, and the display problem was due to a defective video card replacement (ironically, the first one was fine). So I called Dell again to get video card #3. The technician installed it, and it's been working fine now. He chuckled at the fact that he never really had to replace the card in the first place.
Dell chose NVIDIA as their sole provider of video cards for their laptops, and Microsoft's XP operating system wasn't equipped to handle them, initially. Many people had been living with this problem for months, and that sucks big floppy donkey di— uh, that really stinks. But because of conscientious people like me who sent in error report after error report, Microsoft has addressed some of XP's shortcomings and remedied them with the new bios. They just haven't emailed me yet to tell me how cool I am... which is weird, 'cause I'm really, really cool.
"SCADS" pushed buttons, I like to push buttons
There's an interesting conglomeration of buttons northwest of the keyboard, just above the Function keys. First and foremost is the Power button. This button is too sexy for other buttons. It's nestled slightly recessed, surrounded by a beveled ring of chromey plastic — pushing it not only turns on the computer, it also infuses me with power (turning me on). To its right are smaller buttons. The volume buttons are aligned vertically; just imagine it... the top one is Volume Up, the bottom one is Volume Down! To their right is a line of four buttons; these are what the manufacturer calls the Dell AccessDirect buttons. From left to right, they are: the E button (marked by the skewed E in Dell's logo), which instantly opens up the Dell Solution Center application — the local support/help facility preloaded onto the system; the i button, which opens up Internet Explorer (or Netscape if that's what you have designated as your default web browser) and takes you to your home page; the 1 button, which opens your browser and takes you to Dell's home page[9]; and the 2 button, which launches Outlook Express. Buttons 1 and 2 are customizable in that you can assign them to open any application you want.
You... SCAD up my life
Just above the Dell AccessDirect buttons are the three green indicator lights which are embedded in the spine of the laptop, between the machine's base and screen; they face outward. On the left is the power indicator which remains solid when the computer is on. To its right is the hard drive activity button; you'll see this one flash on and off pretty heavily during use. And at the far right is the battery indicator button. Apparently, this light indicates that somewhere in the world, batteries exist.[10] Strangely, it doesn't light up too often. There's a sexy side to these indicator lights as well... they have indicator light counterparts that face not outward, but upward from the spine, making them visible when you close down the screen. Oooooh.
The Lock indicator lights, also green, are located between the Function keys and the Dell AccessDirect keys. Front right to left (for a change of pace), they indicate Scroll Lock, Caps Lock and Num Lock.
Performance, or how many SCADS it takes to get from "HURRY!!!" to "Ready."
Like I said, I opted to go with the standard 128MB of RAM in the original build, and upgrade the memory later.[11] Well, I'd sure love to do that now, but I just can't afford it. Still, with the bare-bones memory combined with the 1.2Ghz Pentium® III Processor, this puppy runs pretty quickly. Programs launch swiftly — Microsoft® Word 2000 launches in 7 seconds, and you are ready to start typing in 10. Microsoft® Internet Explorer launches in 3 seconds, and you are ready to surf in 5. These times can vary, depending on how many other applications you have running. Other programs will have different launch times.
Startup/Shutdown/Standby times
I was told by a Dell rep that having Auto-Protect enabled by Norton AntiVirus™ might slow the startup time, but after testing it out, I found it really didn't slow things down at all. The Windows XP loading screen comes up in 11 seconds. At :37, I see the Welcome screen, and a moment later, Hal 9000 says, "Good evening, Dave. Everything's running smoothly, and you?" (my current wav file for the startup system event). At :43, the Windows desktop appears, but it's not ready for use until about 1:30 or 1:40. With Auto-Protect disabled (not recommended), readiness is indicated when you stop hearing the hard drive churn so much. With it enabled, you'll hear the A (floppy) drive let out a quick fart. When Mr. Floppy poots, you know you're ready to go.
Shutting down is much quicker, of course. Depending on how many applications you had running before you closed them all in quick succession and shut down, the times can vary between 52 and 16 seconds. In the longer example, Hal said "Goodbye" at :30, and then power was cut at :52. The record time was when Hal bid farewell at :07, and the screen went black at :16. The usual times are about :10 and :20, respectively.
Standby mode occurs when you close down the screen and lock it into place. The computer enters Standby anywhere between 3 and 12 seconds after that click (again, depending on how much stuff you were doing right before you closed the lid). Awakening from hibernation takes longer. With XP, you see your desktop flash before your eyes, but then it goes away (tease) and you must first click your username (or hit Enter) when confronted with the "To Begin, Click Your Username" screen. This screen usually takes about 12-15 seconds to load, with the username being clickable about 3 seconds later. Sometimes, however, it can take 20-30 seconds if you have tons of programs running, and that can be a bit annoying (I'm not a very patient guy). Very rarely, simply opening the lid does not awaken the computer, and you have to hit the Power button to shake it from its slumber.
General performance
Overall, I've very satisfied here. Most tasks are performed quickly, and multitasking can usually be pulled off without a hitch. Ultra-heavy multitasking, however, make it evident that I could really use a memory upgrade.
The sound... of SCADence
Speakers
The stereo speakers are located on the sides of the machine toward the very front. I haven't heard many laptop speakers in my day, but compared with the ThinkPad model I used many years back, these speakers kick butt. Of course with tiny speakers like these, the bass ain't gonna be kickin', but it's adequate. They do, however, excel at reproducing the virtual surround sound (SRS ( • ) WOW effect)[12] available with some files played through the Windows Media Player (version 8.0).
What? WHAT??
I have a hard time controlling the volume. Physical volume levels chosen via the Volume buttons are often forgotten after restarting, or even resuming from Standby mode — this can be extremely annoying. It's too loud! Sometimes Hal 9000 yells his greetings and goodbyes. In order to remedy this, I've adjusted the volume via the Volume icon in the system tray (I lowered the main volume and the wave volume there). This helps keep Hal 9000 serene, but then when I play MPEGs or MP3s, their volume is too low, and there's only so much adjusting I can do directly in Windows Media Player or with the physical volume buttons. So, it's a delicate balance, and I continue to juggle as there can be quite a dynamic range of volume across different sound sources.
Microsoft gives me a SCADache
Most of the problems I've encountered with my laptop are Microsoft's fault (like that video card issue), but they are worthy of mention, because I do not plan on SCADding separately about Windows XP. For months, upon starting up, I'd get a very ugly "Your system has recovered from a serious error" message. Nothing major would happen after that, but it was unsettling. Microsoft issued a fix, and it doesn't happen anymore. More annoying is that 75% of half the time, upon closing IE, I get the dreaded "This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down" error. Duh! I'm trying to close it! This error persists, though not as often, since Microsoft issued a fix. As I stated before, when the system completely crashes (thankfully, crashes occur very rarely now), the BSOD pops up and disappears after one second before I'm able to read it to see what caused the crash. I wish it stayed up longer — help me out, Microsoft! But with the help of one Dell rep, I found where I can read the error logs, at my leisure, to discover what caused a particular crash.[13] Also, perhaps most importantly, were the widely publicized security issues with XP and IE. Microsoft continually issues fixes on this, but since there's a new fix every month or so, I can't exactly say that I have piece of mind about this.
Windows Media Player complaints
A lot of MPEGs (whatever could I be watching?) tend to stop somewhere along the line. They'll freeze up right in the middle — simply stopping and restarting the movies rarely works to get them going again. I'll usually have to close the file and reopen it in order to get it to play properly (but it just might freeze again). This is irritating.
Another problem involves playing MPEGs and MP3s in the media panel of IE. For the first month, everything was fine. But since then, I haven't been able to play one single file in that panel, because the connection always times out. I have to actively download these files to my hard drive and play them in the stand-alone player. Bummer.
Status Bar complaint
God knows I have enough screen space that I can make the tiny Status Bar visible in any application where it's applicable (usually IE and Windows Explorer [File Manager]) without encroaching upon my workspace. But I've searched and scoured options and preference settings in these applications, and I haven't been able to find a checkable box for "Always View Status Bar." This really gets under my skin. I've had to go to Menu > View > Status Bar no less than 54,578 times. Yes, I've counted.
Show Picture complaint
Why the heck can't I open an image in a new window? Back when I was using Netscape, a right-click would offer Open Image in New Window. IE has an equivalent, called Show Image. But it's never clickable! It's always "darkened," so I can never use it. Why is this important? Well, for one, if I wanted to see an image all by itself to see its specific URL (e.g. for use as a profile picture), having it open in a new window would instantly show me that URL in the browser's Address field. Since this function is perpetually disabled, I have to jump through an extra hoop — I have to right-click, choose Properties, and read/copy the URL there (which takes more precision to copy than if it were in the Address field).
Good SCADS for Microsoft
Windows XP is intuitive in many ways. When Microsoft issues fixes, driver updates, or software compatibility updates, a little icon appears in my system tray — clicking on it allows me to download and install the updates I choose. The Start Menu, besides having separate, permanent (yet adjustable) sections for internet programs, the array of My Documents type folders, the Control Panel and Printers folders, and Search and Help & Support, also provides six spaces just above the Start button for my most frequently used programs (this list is updated automatically). Cool! And there's also that error reporting application I mentioned earlier.
The coolest things about IE6, in my opinion, are the Image Toolbar and AutoComplete functions. Mouse over a completely loaded image, and a small four-button bar appears over the upper-left corner of the image, allowing me to Save, Print, or Email the image, or open the My Pictures folder. This makes for incredibly quick image saving without having to right-click and choose Save Image As. AutoComplete gives me the option of having the browser remember web addresses, form entries and usernames/passwords. This is useful for sites that don't employ cookies for automatic password entry, or when I'm filling out forms and am sick of typing entire email/snail-mail addresses over and over. Usernames/passwords and other form entries are easily recalled — just type the first digit and the whole thing appears below; arrow down to select it, then hit Enter. This saves me many keystrokes.
Dell's SCADstomer Service
I don't know where this great rep for customer service came from, but Dell has a lot of improving to do. Don't get me wrong — they are very nice people, and some of them are very capable, but overall, it's been a somewhat unpleasant experience. They have about 800 800 numbers, each one supposedly there to help me cut down on wait time by contacting the specific department I need directly, yet their phone system is hellish nonetheless.
The hellish phone system
When I call 1-800-247-9252 for notebook computer hardware support, the "Welcome to Dell" message plays. Then I have the option of pressing 1 to enter a direct 5-digit extension (x69219). Then I can press 2 if I'd like to input my 11-digit express service code. Then I have to press 2 to choose Personal Home Computer. Then after hearing their long shpiel about where to locate my express service code, I have to press 3 to tell them I want to enter the code (I'm also given the option of pressing 2 for a 30-second delay allowing me to find my code if I haven't already). This recording makes me angry, because even if I know my code by heart or if it's on a piece of paper right in front of me, I still have to listen to the long message about locating it — I can't press 3 immediately to bypass that message. After entering the code (finally), they warn me about hearing two tones and transferring my call. Then the interim hold music comes on, which never changes. Then I hear the "radio" hold music that lets me know that I'm in the call queue. When a human being finally gets on the line, they ask me for my 7-digit service tag number, and proceed to have me confirm (dictate) my name, full address and home phone number, every single time I call. Talk about jumping through hoops! I've stopped enunciating it slowly — I now reel it off in under five seconds.
By the way, whenever they get a chance (in certain menus and submenus), they'll haunt me with a message that encourages me to resolve my issue on the web at support.dell.com (i.e., discouraging me from utilizing their phone reps). When I called a different, even more specialized number recently, they had the most obnoxious recorded "dialogue" running: a guy would ask a question, and then a super-helpful Dell girl would tell him where on Dell's website he could find his answer. It sounded so forced, cheesy and condescending that it made me wanna heave.
Software support dues
Calling the software support line (800-433-9005), I hear a blah blah message, and then am given the following choice: "If your system is within 30 days old, press 1; if your system is older than 30 days, press 2." If I press 2, I'm prompted to give my credit card information, and will not be able to speak with someone unless I do. You know, when I signed up for their 3-year Limited Warranty + 3 years At-Home Service + Lifetime Phone Support for an additional $300, I figured that all phone support would be free, from the moment of purchase to the moment of untimely death. Nope. Only hardware phone support is free of additional charges. Lucky for me, Dell considers Windows XP support to be a hardware issue, so any XP issues can be resolved for free (if they're competent enough to resolve them, that is). Their software division deals with MS Works suites and Roxio software (all preinstalled), but anything above and beyond that, they ask me to contact the third-party software providers.
Availability
Hardware support is reachable 24/7, but software support and the more general customer service support lines can only be accessed during business hours. Somewhere along the way, I seem to remember thinking that all phone support would be available 24/7, but this is not the case.
Dealing with the customer service representatives (people)
Like I said, each and every one of Dell's phone reps deal with me in a cordial manner. They are nice people. But sometimes I feel like I'm helping them more than they are helping me. The whole display device debacle took about 12 phone calls before it was resolved, and I found myself recounting the ever-building saga during each successive call and outlining suggestions for how they should approach helping me. Some reps are more informed than others — a "known" issue to one rep might be "news" to another. A few of them, however, really know their stuff, and are able to suggest solutions that don't occur to me.
At-home servicing
Guess what? The people who provide at-home hardware support/repairs are not Dell people! Dell has outsourced these duties (at least in my area) to a company called BancTec. Hey, I don't care who services my computer, as long as they are qualified. It was just a surprise, that's all. And yes, they are qualified.
It's the getting them to my home that can be tricky. Here's the progression: Dell contacts them about the issue. They order any needed parts, and after the parts come in, they call me to schedule an appointment. This process usually takes four to seven days. I ran into a problem one time, however, when BancTec had a hard time contacting me (my answering machine was broken). After trying me twice, they wrote me off and returned the part. I had to call Dell in order to reinstate the service call, and had to wait through that whole cycle again.
But once BancTec gets to my home, they do good work, and they do it quickly. I've had four service calls fulfilled by BancTec, and they were helpful every time.[14]
Random SCADilations
Battery
I'm sorry to say that I have not personally evaluated the battery's performance, because I have yet to rely on it. I can say that I've accidentally unplugged that power cord a few times (it doesn't really lock in there very tightly, but it's not like it's falling out all the time either). When this happens, the screen dims somewhere between 30% and 50% (I don't have my light meter on me). I did, however, speak with a seemingly knowledgeable Dell rep who gave me the skinny on the battery: it lasts about 2 hours when fully charged, but it'll drain more quickly if you do heavy-duty things like burn CDs (or even play music), or use graphics-intensive programs. Whether or not you use it, the battery's life expectancy is one year (as is its warranty). He said that if I removed the battery from the computer, it might last a little longer, but I don't wanna risk accidentally tripping on my power cord and not having the battery there as a backup.
Construction
The two hinges that connect the display to the base, which seem to be pretty strong, are a bit creaky. Perhaps they could use some WD-40®, but I don't wanna risk saucing my computer's inner sanctum. Actually, I think the real problem is that there's a good 10º of free movement before the hinges engage, so the moment the hinges take the load, a strain is put on the entire screen housing. Sometimes I can actually see a few tiny dimples appear on the screen when I change the angle. Normally, I like dimples, but these ones scare me.
Cooling fans
When the computer gets a bit warm, the fans engage. There are two of them, side-by-side, on the right side of the rear panel. They have two settings, high and low, depending on how hot it gets. It usually takes my playing a graphics-intensive game, or watching an MPEG while having other programs open, in order for them to kick in. When they're on low, I can hear them, but the sound isn't overwhelming. When they're on high, they are considerably louder. To be specific, I'd say their decibel level is somewhere between that of a mouse fart at a thousand yards, and that of the rushing pyroclastic cloud featured in the film Dante's Peak.
InSCADtion Manual
I hear that in this day and age, it's uncommon for a computer manufacturer to include an instruction manual with their product. Dell, however, includes their Solutions Guide.
Its main sections are: Safety Instructions (including standard electrocution warnings, plus advice on ergonomic computing habits for the prevention of such maladies as Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and lower-back pain); Setting Up (which deals mostly with the connecting of peripheral devices and swapping of Media Bay devices); Solving Problems (covering a wide range of troubleshooting topics, this is the largest section of the guide); Adding Parts (covering replacement of the palm rests [available in different colors], replacement of the hard drive, and adding memory); and Appendix (covering Dell technical support, regulatory information and warranties/policies).
SCADiferous conclusions
Overall, I'm quite thrilled with my Dell Inspiron™ 8100 notebook computer. This machine is loaded with features, has about everything that I need, does about everything I want (except for the things that are Microsoft's fault), performs consistently well, has a gorgeous display, and is just damn sexy. I can see getting tons of relatively frustration-free use out of this baby for several years (as long as I get that memory upgrade some time in the near future). But of course, I love it mostly for its ability to help me procure porn MPEGs[15], and to help me provide you, The Consumer, with the ability to make informed buying decisions buy writing about my Dell Inspiron™ 8100 notebook computer on my Dell Inspiron™ 8100 notebook computer.
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Footnotes... too SCADy for the body... too SCADy for the body... so SCADy it hurts
[1] I haven't yet gotten back onto my Bowflex. Shut up.
[2] With this large screen and ultra-high resolution, it took some juggling to make things look right, because the higher the resolution is, the smaller the windows, icons and other objects will appear. Almost everything was too small, albeit pristine. So I went into Display Properties, chose the Settings tab, clicked the Advanced button, and increased the DPI setting to 150% normal size (144 dpi).
[3] Christopher Latham Sholes invented the modern-day typewriter, with its famous QWERTY layout, circa 1874. No one, not even Dell, has dared to mess with this system.
[4] It was kinda like when your car's automatic transmission shifter is located at your side. When you go on vacation and rent a car whose shifter is on the steering column, you keep reaching at the thin air to your side for two days before finally learning to reach behind the wheel. After driving that rental for a week, you come home, and for the first one or two times you drive your own car, you swipe at the thin air behind the steering wheel.
[5] There are other keys sized uncomfortably small, but I never use these keys, so it's not an issue with me. They are to the left of the navigation cluster I spoke of: Print Screen (Prnt Scrn), Number Lock (Num Lk), Pause (Pause), and the Key With No Name that performs the same exact function as right-clicking the mouse.
[6] As the TouchPad is actually shaped like a slightly curved television picture tube along its edges (concave lines), these measurements are taken from the widest points. Also notable about the TouchPad is that it excels at collecting dust.
[7] Q: Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
A: Hookin' up words and phrases and clauses.
[8] With Num Lock engaged and Function held down, the following character keys yield these number pad characters: M=0, J=1, K=2, L=3, U=4, I=5, O=6, 7=7 (strange), 8=8 (bizarre), 9=9 (uncanny), 0=* (that's more like it), P=-, ;=+, /=/ (eerie), and .=. (outrageous).
[9] http://www.dell.com/us/en/gen/default.htm
[10] That was a joke. This light really indicates whether or not the A/C power is plugged in.
[11] You have the option of paying Dell a few extra ducats to have them stuff the standard 128MB of memory into one slot, leaving the other slot free. That way, if I bought a 256MB SIMM for my first memory upgrade, my total would be 384MB. If I did it the standard (cheaper) way, the original 128MB would have been comprised of two 64MB SIMMs, one in each slot. Replacing one of those with the 256MB SIMM would yield a total of only 320MB. 384 > 320.
[12] http://www.srswowcast.com/about_us/WMPTechnology.Asp
[13] Error logs (wdl files) are readable by Notepad or WordPad, and are located in C:\WINDOWS\LogFiles\Watchdog.
[14] At-home Service Call #1: fix sticky space bar (he had to replace the whole keyboard). #2: replace video card. #3: replace video card again. #4: replace broken mouse button (he had to replace the entire TouchPad module, because that's where The Nipple's mouse buttons are mounted).
[15] I would never, ever use a peer-to-peer file-sharing system to get my hands on Traci Lords' "earlier" work.
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Measure twice, SCAD once
• Computer dimensions: 13” wide x 10 3/4" deep x 1 7/8" high (closed) / 12 1/8" (open and erect).
• Computer weight (with my configuration): 8.577 pounds (+/- .003 lb. error margin).
• Normal character keys are 11/16" square — the smaller keys I was complaining about are 5/8" wide (1/16" narrower) x 7/16" deep (1/4" shallower — here's where the difference is most significant).[a]
...[a]Measurements of keys include the beveled edges — for me to have provided a separate measurement of the surface sans beveled edge would have been ridiculous.
• Left-click button measures 1 1/4" wide x 1/2" deep (at its deepest point). Right-click button measures 1/2" wide x 7/8" deep. The gap between the two is a mere 1/32". Perhaps they could have widened the gap and put in a spacer in between them to separate them just a bit more.
• Larger mouse buttons corresponding with TouchPad are impossible to measure accurately, because of their heavily contoured lines, and my decision to refrain from taking calculus in high school. Rough measurements: left-click is 2 1/4" wide x 1 3/16" deep; right-click is 1 1/8" wide x 1 3/16" deep.
• 7 1/4"
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The all-important Ingredient List™
(1) 64 oz. jar of Prego's Mushroom Sauce
(3) .75 lb. packages of boneless chuck steak filets (or eye of round if they are out of chuck)
(1) 1 lb. package of Barilla Thin Spaghetti
(Heaps) of basil and oregano
(Smidgens) of black pepper and celery salt
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SCADethonians:
29th_candidate | aggiebrett | annexation | badkittym | bijou | blackmonolith | brendametcalf | brothermansoul | chrisbickel | dgturtle2 | farfetched | fez_monkey | fragglemom | galileo365 | ginzo | horswispr | imokliel | james23 | jankp | jkkelley | jsallen | ladycynic| lambolucifer | lattechick | macresarf1 | natch | nealgoodall | officer | petra | phixed | pogomom | prfstars | ptiemann | repulsemonkey | seraphofhades | shadow_dream | snakeayez | sordid-1 | xiphoid | young1028
Recommended:
Yes
Amount Paid (US$): 2,764 w/tax
Operating System: Windows
Processor: Intel Pentium III
Processor speed: over 1000
Screen Size: 15
RAM: 128
Internal Storage: CD-RW
Hard Drive (GB): 41-50
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Epinions.com ID:
blackmonolith
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Member: Sky
Location: Burbank, CA
Reviews written: 40
Trusted by: 57 members
About Me:
"We smoke as we shoot the bird."
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