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Re: hi! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Stephanie,
Thanks on both counts! To remove some confusion, or perhaps pile onto it, you might wanna dig deep into 29th_candidate's body (of work, that is). Why? Because he's so SCADilicious! It won't matter that he's dead; his work lives on for all of us to stumble through.
Thanks so much for stopping by.
-Sky
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Apr 05 '03
5:27 am PST
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hi! (Reply to this comment)
by srdgoddess
All of the in-jokes are rather confusing and bizarre, but the review is terrific. :)
take care,
Stephanie
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Apr 01 '03
2:05 pm PST
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Re: yup (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Thank you, sir. It helps to have an observer (and an agent to boot!) boil down your 7,000-plus-word piece to its most essential, uh, essence.
I'll be sure to use my Agent Lithium Bat-Light to summon you again soon.
Cheers,
Sky
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May 08 '02
10:46 pm PDT
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yup (Reply to this comment)
by garym
Nipples, nipples, farts ,nipples, farts, farts, nipples.
Great review. I have to go dispose of my kleenex, now.
Agent Lithium at your beck and call.
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May 06 '02
1:37 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Kudos fellow scadtastically late scad-pusher! (Reply to this comment)
by Petra
Agent Undercovah Brutha will inevitably track me to Nakatomi Plaza sometime tomorrow evening, where he will observe me as I dine on shrimp tempura and corndogs.
*sigh* I would have been there, but I couldn't find a spot to park the borg cube.
Dang... next time I'll take the Nissan.
7 of 9
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Apr 27 '02
12:05 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Kudos fellow scadtastically late scad-pusher! (Reply to this comment)
by Petra
WHAT is gross? The assimilation part? Come on!
That's a true sign of my dedication!
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Apr 26 '02
2:03 am PDT
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Re: Ahem... The reason for my rating... (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Agent Bimbo Beeyotch,
You said, "I would have rated this higher but I plan to write the Most Helpful review in this category." 'Cept you said that in the comments section of my "Wanna bake an apple pie? NOT SO FAST!" piece on Cookware Advice for Beginners.
Well, because the Epinions Ratings Guidelines™ clearly state, "Be sure you rate lower than you normally would if you have written, or plan on writing, a review for the same product, because that'll assure your ass of being on top," I have no grounds for an argument.
Of course, two months later, you changed your mind and gave me an MH anyway. Shame on you. You have disobeyed the Epinions Ratings Guidelines™! Or did you decide not to post in that category after all?
Mmmmm. Cowgirl really is the best.
-Agent Schmagent
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Apr 25 '02
7:32 am PDT
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Ahem... The reason for my rating... (Reply to this comment)
by pogomom
Darling Agent D:
I had to give you the lowly VH since I happen to be in the middle of writing my own review of this same model - BUT WITH MORE MEMORY (you earned your agent title darling one) - thus, I expect to garner the coveted MH and if I give you that exalted rating - you'll probably end up on top. I, dear heart, prefer to be on top.
Enough said - this comment will self-destruct in five... four... three...
xoxox Agent Stargazer
two... one... pffffffffffffft
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Apr 25 '02
7:10 am PDT
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Re: Kudos fellow scadtastically late scad-pusher! (Reply to this comment)
by Petra
MY GOD! We even POST together!!!
It's a sign! It's a SIGN!
Da Plane! Da Plane!
Wait... I got something confused here... must be the implants. I'm gonna regenerate and return to assimilate you in the morning.
Le Femme Borgie
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Apr 25 '02
12:55 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Author's SCADditional Information (Reply to this comment)
by Petra
Errr... okay, I admit, I'm not about to go through this library of conversation between you and Jim to figure out what exactly was said, but it seems to me you just got honored in some way, shape or form, which of course will up my obsession with you even more.
Now I'm only left with the problem of having to shove 29th out of the way everytime I want to properly swoon, threaten or simply attach myself to your leg in a begging fashion.
I DON'T remember that being in the original agreement... could we renegotiate? I'll forfit the shotgun marriage if you could meet me halfway with the mini blinds problems I've had lately...
Thanks!
Your faithful No. 1 Fan!
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Apr 25 '02
12:53 am PDT
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Re: Re: Re: Kudos fellow scadtastically late scad-pusher! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Agent 7 of 9,
Agent Undercovah Brutha will inevitably track me to Nakatomi Plaza sometime tomorrow evening, where he will observe me as I dine on shrimp tempura and corndogs. Dress is upscale-casual. Bring Rolling Rock, the "IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!" poster (showing an airliner being struck by lightning) featured in the travel agency scene in The Truman Show, and four medium-size clothes pins.
But don't tell Agent Scully (scully81873) about this, or she'll have Peter Pan dress you in his Little Lord Fauntleroy outfit (certainly not upscale-casual), which will of course cause you neverending embarrassment.
-Agent Dumbass
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Apr 25 '02
12:52 am PDT
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Re: Re: Author's SCADditional Information (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Sir,
With "Pomp And Circumstance," or better yet, the processional march that was composed by Carter Burwell and/or Aram Khachaturian for the laughing montage in The Hudsucker Proxy* running as background music in my SCAD-filled head, I hereby accept these honors with utmost appreciation and humbled reverence.
If only my mommy could get her internet access up and running.
~Rear-SCADmiral Monolith
* DVD/LD Chapter 12: "A Good Laugh"
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Apr 25 '02
12:23 am PDT
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Re: Author's SCADditional Information (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
Sir, for consumerly helpfulness above, below, between and besides the call of Scadsnifferity; for the rare distinction of, to my knowledge, becoming the first SCADviewer to ever draw actual human breastmilk (almost 2 qwertys and 1 pint) through his keyboard's nipple, presumably from his Inspiron's mammary cards, for commemorating the Consumerly Hillbillies with his discovery of an unusual source of unnatural gas ("Texas Instruments tea") on his computer's floppy drive, (dude, that may not be gas-- are you CERTAIN the floppy drive side is it's BACK side, not its front side? *pf*) for being the first reviewer to perform an examination of his computer's parts that was so thorough, it actually turned his computer on, despite neither the box's SCADderies nor its plug being anywhere near it at the time, for conducting thorough "scientific" searches and probes of its floppy drive while holding and manipulating the unit in his hands, and, at the very same time, uncovering the answer to that infertile question: "Mommy, why do they call it a floppy-drive?" and for all the extra wonderfully superfluous SCADditional information you've supplied hapless consumers, I raise you in rank to Rear-SCADmiral Monolith, and award the "Too-Much-English Service" Cross, and the Too-Much-Confessional SCADdle of Honorrhea." Yo mamma's gonna be so prad ah you!
--29th
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Apr 24 '02
11:46 pm PDT
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Author's SCADditional Information (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
29th,
My God... you're right! What was I thinking? Perhaps I was distracted by my obsessions — you know... keys and buttons and mice and nipples and... uh, nipples again. My most sincere apologizes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Power is a SCAD-on
We'll discuss the A/C power connection starting from the back of the computer moving toward the electrical outlet. The first cord is round, thin, 6'-0" in length, colored "dark as a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night." The grip on the end that plugs into the laptop reminds me of a duck-billed platypus. The plug itself is 5/16" (relatively) square (with one slightly rounded edge) reminiscent of the Toslink connection used for optical digital audio inputs/outputs found on home theater receivers, DVD players, etc.). The portion of the plug that butts flush against the machine is 3/8" square. Just 2" from the plug is the 1 3/8"-long cylindrical "thingy" device, which has the circumference of a penny. Follow the 6' cord to find the black power adapter/transformer/dingus box (model ADP-70EB), measuring 5 3/16" x 2 1/4" x 1 1/8". It sports a single bright green power indicator light. The butt-end of this box houses the female part of a bulky 3-pin triangularly oriented connection. It looks cool. The male counterpart of this connection is found on the accompanying 6'-0" heavy-duty power cord that, on its other end, sports the standard grounded 3-prong plug for use in most American 120v outlets. This cord is black as well, and is relatively flat along its length.
The item I'm leaving out of this equation is the Notebook Pro Surge Protector manufactured by APC® (model PNOTEPRO3). This serves as a bridge between both cords via the same cool triangularly oriented 3-pin connection — its male end extends a 5 1/2" cord to the adapter box, and its female end is violated by the cord the goes to the wall. The surge protector is relatively cylindrical shape (curved on two sides, flat on the other two); measuring 4 1/2" long, the circumference is such that it would fit snugly inside a standard cardboard toilet paper roll. Besides protecting the A/C power line (with a surge energy capacity of 10 x 1000µs), it also has a single input for one standard telephone line — from there, you can output two telephone lines: one for a phone, one for a modem (according to the manual, "telephone surge protection is not for use with ISDN or digital telephone lines"). I don't use it for this purpose.
Please note that during the initial purchase of this system, Dell informed me that the APC®surge protector was included in the price. Well, they wound up charging me an additional $28 anyway, but one simple phone call reversed their mistake. Also of note is the fact that the surge protector was shipped separately, and arrived a few days later. I was nervous about running the computer without it for those couple of days, but I was too excited not to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope this helps, Jim. Please also note the addition of the InSCADtion Manual section near the end of the review itself.
Thanks for your enSCADaging words of support and kindness. I was happy to be a part of this, even if it took me not being a part of it in order to be a part of it.
SCADily yours,
Sky (leave off the last 'e' for savings, or because it never existed)
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Apr 24 '02
10:52 pm PDT
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P.S. (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
How in the-e-e-e HELL-L-L-L, did you ever get Elton John to fix your "laptop's" little qwerty? Did he fix your "Shift-Lock" for you, too? Assuming you gave him a tip, was that the 2nd tip you gave him? Why aren't the responses to these important questions in the review?!
SCADZ-tah-yuh-Muthahz-z-z-z...
Scadzden of the Scadalina Islands
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Apr 24 '02
8:27 pm PDT
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Do You Think You're Dealing WITH CHILDREN HERE!! (Reply to this comment)
by 29th_Candidate
SCADSMAN 1ST CLASS MONOLITH, I'm going to ask you this, and I am going to ask it just ONCE. Just what kind of a SCAD-ship do YOU think I'M RUNNING HERE?! ....WHAT KIND OF A LAPTOP COMPUTER REVIEW [Hippo Hurricane Hollar:] DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE COLOR, TINT, HUE OR LENGTH... OF THE AC PLUG-IN COR-R-R-R-R-R-R-D-D-D-D!!!
Skye, that was HI-L-L-L-LARIOUS! SCADZZZZZ-NIFICENT!
["Anyone else run into this strange occurrence where it appears that your laptop PC is temporarily possessed by Steve Jobs?"]
I'm sure there are many who feel lucky when their keyboards are possessed by ANY jobs...
Sorry, I had to say that to keep myself from saying something much more lascivious and offensive.
That farting floppy... another gem... Sir, you do honor to SCADS-servicemen everywhere... :::sniffle:::
--29th
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Apr 24 '02
8:05 pm PDT
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Re: Re: Kudos fellow scadtastically late scad-pusher! (Reply to this comment)
by Petra
"Together, we will be complete."
Oh! Oh! Can I use that one?
*off scribbling stalker note*
-----------------------------------------
My beloved Sky! I am near. I know you are currently travelling a lot because you want to find just the perfect place for us to live toghether, but I wish you'd occasionally just tell me where you're headed next.
It's kind of time-consuming to get the information out of hotel clerks and gas station attendants, and the police doesn't seem to care for my methods of questioning.
I think I'm only one town away right now... I'll be there soon and then we will share our lives....
Togehter, we will be complete!
-----------------------------------
Awwww... this is NICE!
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Apr 24 '02
3:40 pm PDT
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Re: GAHHH! (Reply to this comment)
by Petra
Kitty: he only wrote this because he wanted me to sit still in awe of his words for 5 hours while he escapes to the next city.
See, I'm currently waiting for Agent Mop-N-Glo to get some dude from Incubus back from Bob the Juice Bar Goddess. As soon as she gets that one back, I can have her Owen Wilson. So while I'm waiting for that, I have to go back to my default stalkee Blackmonolith.
What he doesn't realize is that Undercover Brother trails him for me. That's what Supa-Glo is for. Ha!
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Apr 24 '02
3:35 pm PDT
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Re: "Technical glitch" my Aunt Tillie! (Reply to this comment)
by Petra
Luckily, he has me ("Captain Fantastic") around to clean up
What's going on here? Clean-ups are Mop-N-Glo's department. You don't even have the necessary vaccinations for such activities!
Report to the Quarantene chamber ASAP.
This is unbelievable... Next thing you know they'll all start signing peace treaties after a night of boozing with the Edgars ...
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Apr 24 '02
3:32 pm PDT
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Re: Kudos fellow scadtastically late scad-pusher! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Hollywood Psychic,
Lesser schmesser! Mine is only half a review until you post yours. "Together, we will be complete."
Mmmkay, hope that didn't freak you out. People tend to get uncomfortable when I quote Tron.
Entertaining? Thanks a bunch... but damn it. I think that's against the rules.
Get chuggin' sir! S'a good thing dere's caffeine in dem dar bubbles, pardner!
Back atcha,
Sky (Agent Durr Dur Durr)
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Apr 24 '02
3:28 pm PDT
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Kudos fellow scadtastically late scad-pusher! (Reply to this comment)
by Officer
Well, I'm back on the pc sifting through piles o' porn... er, RESEARCH to finally complete my scad's piece. Expect the lesser of the late SCADS reviews (mine) to show up later this evening!
Congrats on your fine tome by the way. Too bad this W/O doesn't have a point competition going or you'd get the ISE combo bonus! (Informative, Scaddy, and Entertaining! )
You'd still lose the sock due to inexcusable lateness though.
Speaking off, I gotta get cracking. Lot's of pepsi to choke down before I finish this damn thing. Peace out. ~Ryan (Agent HP)
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Apr 24 '02
3:00 pm PDT
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Re: GAHHH! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Kitty,
Heh heh, thanks! But ya know... you probably read it before I did my latest editing pass. It's much better now, so I really think you should come back and read it just once more... ya know, to be safe. Heh heh.
A very pooped,
Agent Dumbass
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Apr 24 '02
2:52 pm PDT
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Scadily delish! (Reply to this comment)
by scully81873
Great write! Sounds like a good buy.
**Dizzy**
-JGO
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Apr 24 '02
11:49 am PDT
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Re: "Technical glitch" my Aunt Tillie! (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
B,
Hey! I gave credit where credit was due! Only I did it in a small corner of the world where only a select few miscreants could see it.
Want me to say it again? Being that you're my personal god for the day, I have no problem with subjugating myself before you for all corners of the world to see...
Suck my noodle!
Yours truly,
Cameron Frye
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Apr 24 '02
10:33 am PDT
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"Technical glitch" my Aunt Tillie! (Reply to this comment)
by AggieBrett
dorkmonolith scribbled:
Due to a technical glitch, this review was posted one day later than was originally planned.
Fer chrissakes at least come clean on your own incompetence *. The PROBLEM here, Gentle Readers was that Mr. Sky-tato Head couldn't figure out why his review was being flagged for "MAJOR BAD JUJU" by the Epinions HTML checker.
Luckily, he has me ("Captain Fantastic") around to clean up after his (many, frequent, clumsy) mistakes, and in no time at all, his scree was splattered across a lane and a half of the information superhighway.
My work here is done.
.
.
.
Agent B (MIB# 200231)
* sorry about that "come clean" pun. I couldn't help myself.
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Apr 24 '02
10:17 am PDT
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Author's Note (Reply to this comment)
by blackmonolith
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Due to a technical glitch, this review was posted one day later than was originally planned. I'm just clearing that up for you so that next year, you aren't a day late in wishing Kitty a happy b-day.
-Sky
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Apr 24 '02
9:46 am PDT
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