I made my first trip to a U.S. liquor store the other day to pick up something to bring to a party. I'd been back in the States for two whole weeks before purchasing alcohol? you ask with shock and horror? Well, the answer is yes, because I've converted my family to Stella Artois, and now my dad buys it for me! Woo-hoo!
Friends are barely two steps in the door and he asks, "Would you like a Stella?" If they act confused, he is glad to explain that his daughter discovered this beer in London. My theory is that he thinks he's sophisticated by serving visitors an import that's not as well-known as, say, Heineken. (Although Stella is actually owned by the Heineken Company... That's one of the few things I remember learning on my trip to Amsterdam...)
Anyway, I don't think my dad should be that excited about Stella, since it is very common across the pond, in both senses of the word. When I first went to London last January, I was fairly ignorant about beer. Not ever being the one in charge of its purchase since I had been too young in the US (boo! those darn Puritans!), I basically just drank whatever anyone gave me, which was usually boring, American beer. So, I was never a huge beer fan and definitely preferred "girl drinks" such as Smirnoff Ice or mixed drinks.
However, being in London, I decided that I should start drinking beer since it fit better with the pub atmosphere. I didn't discover Stella straight away, though, since they didn't serve it in any of my local student bars. The first time I had Stella was in February in a lovely little pub in Kentish Town that has candles in bottles on the tables. And they were those cool kind of candles that are white on the outside but drip colourful wax. Anyway, I decided to order a pint of Stella, since it sounded exotic. What did I know? Well, a funny thing happened-- I felt the effects from this one pint much more strongly than I normally do. I thought it was just the environment of the nice pub, or maybe I didn't eat much for dinner? But I checked out some cans of Stella at Sainsbury's supermarket and I discovered... lo and behold...
IT HAS 5.2% ALCOHOL!!!
Now, this extra 0.2 to 0.5% more than other light-coloured beers might not sound like it would make a big difference, but I assure you, it does.
I can drink Stella and get drunk before I start to sneeze!
What are you talking about? you ask?
If I drink too much or eat too much (i.e. if my stomach gets full), I sneeze. Which is the main reason I didn't really like beer before I discovered Stella. What is the point of getting drunk if you are just going to sneeze? It's just annoying and gross! Really, it's true. Ask any of my friends.
Stella is a lager which means it's pale and light. Real beer experts would describe it as "bland" and would compare it to Budweiser. (Eww. How dare they?) In Europe, Stella Artois sponsors sporting events, so I guess the comparisons to Bud are sort of warranted. It is also on tap at most pubs in England and is certainly not reserved for snobs. The bloke with missing teeth in the pub who says to the barmaid, "I'll have a pint of lager, luv" is talking about Stella Artois. But it is, on average, about 20p more than the other light beers they have available. The slogan in England for Stella is "Reassuringly Expensive." HAHA.
I think that Stella has a bit more subtle sweetness to it than other similar beers I've tried such as Grolsch, Beck's, or Heineken Plus, as I said, it's stronger and it has a cool name. But it does have a bit of a bitter after-taste.
Stella tastes significantly better on tap in pubs in the UK (I haven't found any pubs yet in Boston that have it) than it does out of the bottle. The bottles in the states are green and they have white paper that you have to peel off the top before prying off the cap. It is imported by the Labatt company in Norwalk, Connecticut. It says in red letters that it's been brewed in Belgium since 1366.
One of my friends bought me a Michael Jackson's (no, not The King of Pop , a British beer critic) Guide to the World's 500 Best Beers (or something) and Stella Artois was not in it. Oh, well, it's in my Top 5 and my dad's too, and that's all that matters.
Post Script and Advice of the Day
This review was inspired by (barely) surviving the worst hangover of my life at work on Sunday. Heed my advice, folks: If you go to a party and the drunk fat guy who's stewing in the hot tub wearing a Hawaiian shirt tells you that the punch has "everything!" in it, don't drink it, especially if you have to go to work the next day. Unless you want to be lying down next to the copy machine , embarrassing yourself in front of your co-workers.
Next time, I'll drink Stella.
Recommended:
