I was in High School when "The Simpsons" debuted, and was one of millions of people who cried out against it. The Simpson family was immoral, led by a lazy irresponsible lout of a father who let his animated family get away with everything. Homer is a drunk, overweight, bald poor excuse of a husband and father, and SO STUPID!!! How can he possibly work in that power plant? The mother had BLUE hair, and was basically a doormat/prop for her husband to emotionally abuse.

Bart. Don't get me started on Bart. With his "Don't have a cow, man" Bart spawned millions of little bast@rds who wanted to imitate his every move. What will happen to Our Youth within a generation if they all followed his lead? No respect for authority. No sense of conscience or morality. That boy breaks his blue-haired mother's heart every day of his life. AND he was conceived out of wedlock... Lisa...can't think of much to say about her, but her hair is SO Spiky!!!! And Maggie. She'll never learn to talk.

These were my chief criticisms of The Simpsons. I don't particularly know where they came from; I'm not THAT conservative really--I don't read The New Republic or American Journal or anything like that, and I'm all for irresponsibility and profanity. So I'm not sure where that brainwashing seeped in. But it did. Probably a part of Living In Utah.

Until about 1996, I fought the good fight. I didn't EVER watch The Simpsons. I don't think I had seen a single episode. Whenever someone told me they were a fan, I'd raise a skeptical eyebrow, and immediately judge them as being inferior intellectually and morally, and go on with my life. Because that's the kind of jerk I am.

Then a friend at work wouldn't SHUT up about them. Jason's conversations would go like this:

"Have you seen that Simpsons where ....bluh bluh bluh?"
"Have you seen that Simpsons where ....blah blah blah?"

And I'd say, "No, JAY-son, I HAVEN'T....." and it went like that for about a year. And he'd offer to bring in tapes, and sponsor Simpsons Nights, and I'd make up excuses, like I don't have time for all that with school and work and Muppets and whatnot. So that ended that round.

I started watching a few of them. Just now and then if I was home and they were on. Pretty good stuff. Nothing to write home about, but I'd laugh out loud a few times. Bart is still a bad role model.

Then, a few years later, Jason had rotated out of my workplace and on to much better things, and this other guy named Tim rotated in. Tim and I hung out more than Jason and I ever did, and if you were hanging out with Tim than you were watching the Simpsons basically, because neither one of us had girlfriends at that time. I was working on one, and Tim was just desperately clinging on to life. Loser.

So, in about 1998, I started watching The Simpsons on a weekly, and then a daily basis. There are still maybe 100 episodes I haven't seen. I'm catching up. My attitude has done a complete 180 from what it was 5 years ago. Here's what I think now:

1) The Simpsons is one of the best written shows on television in a half-hour format. Of course it's not "Law and Order", but it's not intended to be. First and foremost, it's a comedy. And it's animated. These two things combine sweetly to give you a show that's going to be timeless. The shows that were done in 1991 stand up as well (and in some cases better than) shows done a decade later. The characters don't age, and Springfield undergoes blessedly few changes to Date an episode.

2) The Simpsons is a great satire on America and on television itself. The writers love to play with television's conventions. How many times have you seen an episode where a character's life is said to have changed forever, and then that lifechanging event is never referred to again? The Simpsons has done that repeatedly, pointing out along the way that "we will never speak of this again", or "next week everything will be fine". Thus, their town can be ravaged by hurricanes, Homer can have myriad careers, and they can move the entire town several miles down the road on the backs of semis when a garbage problem becomes too much to handle. We've been raised seeing too-simple solutions to big problems on television, and The Simpsons skewers that convention.

Suburban American life is the topic of much of the Simpsons humor--in many ways, Springfield is still an Everytown that you could see on "Leave it to Beaver", with the tavern and the comic book store and the barber shop and the leftorium... the entire town goes to one church and has one minister, everyone knows the police chief and the doctor...it's all very Mayberry. Because of this, when you see the cracks in Springfield, you recognize them in your own community. When the very people frequenting the burlesque house turn on it because it's EVIL, I had Salt Lake City flashbacks for days. It's a very pointed look at America and our foibles, and I've learned to love it.

3) Bart *IS* a bad role model. He was never intended to be a GOOD role model, or really any role model for children. My nephew (he's 5) doesn't watch The Simpsons, and probably shouldn't until he's older and more able to distinguish what's right and what's wrong. Filling a shack full of hosed-in creamed corn isn't a really nice thing to do to someone, but Bart did it. Rigging a weather balloon to look like your Principal mooning the town isn't nice, but Bart did it. Not that my nephew would be capable of such pranks, or even understand them, but I'd rather not plant the seeds. HOWEVER, something that the creators of the Simpsons have always done is hold Bart accountable for what he's done. There are always consequences for his actions; he's just "incorrigible" little bast@rd. If you don't want your children to like Bart and imitate him, then don't let your children watch the show. I didn't get to see everything I wanted to when I was a pup, and I was probably better off for it. Be a Parent.

4) The secondary characters of the Simpsons have become stars of their own; TV Guide recently had a series of 24(?) covers that each featured a secondary character, and it was a deserved tribute to the citizens of Springfield. Some of my favorites:

RALPH WIGGUM--this kid KILLS me. He's the same age as Lisa, and is in her class at school. He has this high squeaky voice, and is the doofiest little kid ever. He eats his crayons and paste, glued his head to his shoulder, ate a worm, fell in love with Lisa, picks his nose, wet his bed, and yet I LOVE him!!!! Whenever there's a school scene, it cheers me up just to see him in the background. Possibly my favorite secondary character. Nothing deep, just a wonderful little guy.

MILHOUSE VAN HOUTEN--Ostensibly Bart's best friend, he's co-conspirator and victim of Bart's best pranks. Great wimpy voice, he's in love with Lisa, but has this whole homosexual subtext going that cracks me up. Not that there's anything wrong with that. He's another bed wetter, but I think those are the only two.

THE FLANDERS FAMILY--I used to feel sorry for them living next door to Homer, but now I love it. They could be any one of a hundred Mormon families I know here in Utah, and their well-meaning self-righteousness should serve as a warning for those who are Holier Than Thou. Ned, Maude, Rod and Todd are great additions to Springfield, and the one where they adopted Bart and Lisa and Maggie had me in Freak-Out mode for a week.

TROY MCCLURE--Voiced by the late great Phil Hartman, this is my favorite character he ever did. Troy McClure is a washed-up Hollywood actor who mostly starred in informational films from the 1950s and 60s, like those black and white Encyclopedia Brittanica films they were still showing when I was in Elementary School. A great character who I miss terribly. He was also in "The Muppets Go Medieval" with Piggy and Kermit. Ahhhhh good times.

I just realized how long this has gone on. My apologies for the length. My life is better for having discovered The Simpsons. A guaranteed laugh with great characters who have improved with age, if you're an ANTI-Simpsons person like I was, who has NEVER SEEN the show, watch it about ten times. See if you laugh. If you do, maybe it's not as bad as you thought. Or maybe it's worse.



Recommended: Yes