Don't let Reverend Billy Bob fool you, he buys his "sex stuff" here, too!
Jul 20, 2002 (Updated Jul 20, 2002)
This review contains things possibly not appropriate to children. If you monitor your children's use of the internet and not expect someone else to do it, they won't see this. However, let it be known that everything in this review is appropriate given the subject matter of the site being reviewed. And also, I understand that children do their own things, but I also know that other people get offended when talk relates to sex. Well, this site is on here to review and sells sex products. So if you don't want a review referencing sex then press that little back button now! Oh, and thanks to pluckyducky (sp) for adding this category!
Please note, that you cannot buy the date rape drug at AdamEve.com, nor can you buy the herbal precursors. My mention of it in my post was actually sarcasm to keep the tone the same. I also am not condoning the use of the drug and have seen people hurt by it...now to the review.
I first came upon AdamEve.com in an ad in Gear Magazine. It just showed some half naked woman, I had a computer next to me, and I typed in the address. What I found was a huge site devoted to anything you could buy at your local "Love Shop" and more. This ranges from oils to condoms to lingerie. The site itself, in my opinion, is probably the most recognized "all sexual needs" shop. You can combine a trip to the pharmacy, Bath and Body Works and Victoria's Secret all in one site.
Best Thing--Buying in "Secret"
I remember buying condoms for one of my friends once because he was scared to do it. When I got them toward the counter I realized why. I lived in a small town. While everyone talked about the girls that got pregnant and why they should have used protection, they also all thought that a teen buying condoms was just "evil." Then the clerk rings them up and it is on the screen for all to see. Thinking back now I realize how hard it must be for teens to practice sex safely--it's both instinct and condemned at the same time.
Fast forward a few years. In college, it is easy to get a condom on the nights they are needed. You go to a friend, girls carry them often, or you can just run into a gas station. But there is still a stigma. A female friend wanted to be responsible and bought some (she was engaged!) and some guys yelled at them as they were leaving the store calling them sluts...these same guys probably slipped a Roofie in someone's drink that night, but hey who am I to judge.
Or let's think about women who want some sexy lingerie but feel pressured not to buy it because they fear judgment. Maybe they are "big" or well-known or "too old" or whatever. And what about sex toys? Man, that is not something you can just get anywhere. And you go to the sex shops and meet all these psychos. Adult video stores are even worse. A woman entering an adult video store for her "personal need items" or even for a new video might as well just leave a map because if their is a good place to find a psycho-stalker it is a video store (there are a lot of normal people too). We had a politician who ran an ad showing his opponent entering one of these places. So what? Can he not legally watch porn?
Well it is aggravating when you have tons of "holier than thou" people out there who judge on every single thing except the part that says not to judge. So that is where AdamEve.com comes in. You can get everything I talked about and more, delivered to your door, without a big "Adam and Eve" label on the box. Does the mailman have an idea? Maybe, but it beats having the entire youth group thrown donuts at you.
AdamEve.com offers guilt fre shopping, a way to opt in or out for catalogs and packages items in "plain boxes" so that you can avoid any issues you may have with condoms, oils or fifteen inch "toys" that you may otherwise be too shy to buy. Since I have registered with them, I have never received more spam than I have before, and I think that they really respect your privacy. When you register, you can simply click to not get mail. And on the credit card statements, I think that it usually lists "Adam Mail." I assume you could avoid that with a money order, though. Overall, I feel that AdamEve is a convenient way to get what I want without feeling like I need to defend my choices.
Here are the broad categories from the site: Video/DVD (two different categories), Vibrators (variety is the optimal word), Sex Toys (aren't vibrators sex toys?), Slippery Sensations, PlayWear, Naughty Novelties, Condoms, Clearance. They also offer a shopping guide.
In the shopping guide, it breaks down every single category telling you what it is and what it contains. Thus I'm not going to do it over again. But if you are curious as to what is meant by "Sex Toys" then go to the shopping guide. And each product description has lots of information (and inserts). For instance, in the shopping guide they discuss the great full-color insert on proper vibrator use (including cleaning, putting a condom on them, not sharing without cleaning, and taking the batteries out after use to extend battery life.
Some sample products
In the Video/DVD section you can find videos such as A&E Strap-On Girls ($29.95), Soul Survivors (African American Women--$29.95) and Chasey Lane's Back(side) ($14.95). That is just in the "What's Hot" section. There is a "new section" under the video category, gay, girl-girl, gonzo (comedic porn, I guess), amateur, how to, features, action, and even the great "special interests." Each category has several pages to go through. For instance amateur has 7 pages of about 8 videos each (that's over 50 videos just including amateurs). The selection may not be as large as your local adult video store, but it is large enough I would imagine.
The vibrators section again subdivides. Check it out for yourself but it includes stuff like "realistic" and "waterproof" along with "kits." Each category also has "customer favorites" and you can click "Show All" to see the tons of merchandise. On the What's Hot page I saw something as cheap as $13 and as high as $60. In my quick mathematical assessment, there are over 250 vibrators! Hopefully that could please anyone...if I can't, my address is....
Ok, in the Sex Toys section you will find lots of stuff from love dolls to strap ons. Again, this should have everything you are looking for and more.
For the more "mild" person who just wants to add some spice, there are a lot of subcategories of slippery sensations. This includes lube, lotions, massage oils and stuff to "stay up." There is lube as cheap as $10 with massage oils starting at about the same price. Again, these are the things you could buy at most "sex shops" or novelty stores, but they have a lot more to pick from. And they give great explanations.
They have "playwear" for both men and women including lingerie, crotchless and leather. There is even a "plus size women" category. Who says plus-sized women can't wear lingerie? And at least you don't have to have some prick looking at you saying, "Hahaha, look at what SHE is getting." As I said before, the stuff ranges from classy to kinky to stuff that most people wouldn't be caught dead in. Under the playwear section, when you click "women" for instance, you get even more subcategories. The prices seem up to par with Victoria's Secret, and they have stuff you would never buy there. Stuff starts under $20.
The novelties section has cologne, books, games and more. These things make great gag gifts but are also something good to spice up a night. I doubt I would ever buy colone from them, but they have everything from funny "Beanie Weanies" (yes, it is a Beanie Baby type thing in the shape of male organs) to love bonds for the dominatrix in each of you. Again, the shopping guide goes in depth for you.
Finally, to the scope of my experience with AdamEve.com, you have the great condom section. This ranges from textured to lubricated to flavored. My favorite is the sampler packs, like the A&E sampler pack--75 condoms for $25! Not bad if I say so myself.
Also try out the clearance items and special deals section. You can get stuff for like 50% off give or take a bit.
I have only listed a few of the products that AdamEve.com has. They have everything from the tackiest of lingerie to the slipperiest of oils. They have exported stuff, "designer" stuff, and stuff that rivals Victoria's Secret in "class." They have things on "far reaches" of their site that you would not imagine. While a search for "llama" yielded nothing, try searching for things like "leopard," "thong," or "shower" and see how many hits you get. General "search rules" apply here. If you are looking for a thong with a cat tail out the back (hey, some people may) you can try searching for "thong with cat tail out the back" or "thong" but the former could be too specific and there are probably tons of thongs. So try "cat" and see what you get. In my experience with their search, you get more products than you want. You may type in "condom" and get Kama Sutra Golddust or something. I think it is probably easier just to navigate.
No, Nothing Free!
My biggest problem with AdamEve.com is that every time you order something online they want to give you something free. Now, I am not against getting stuff free, but it is usually stuff I don't want. For instance, the last time I ordered I had to cancel. My only choice of free stuff was "40 great videos." I imagine this is probably 40 shows on one tape or something, but it could've really been 40 videos.
Another time I ordered they didn't send anything free, while the first time I ordered I at least could pick a "home kit" which included a "vibrating ring" and some other vibrating items. I gave it to a friend as a gag wedding gift, no harm done. But it is really aggravating sometimes when you don't want what they are offering. When I had to cancel my order, I had no choice. There is no way that I know of on the website to say, "I don't want the free item!" Perhaps calling them up would help, but it is an aggravation. When you click to the next page it always tells you to pick your free gift before going on.
This, to me, is the biggest problem with the whole site. Some people may like it more than others, though. "Hey, I just bought a sampler pack of condoms and got 60 videos man!" "Wow, just for buying condoms? I buy those before every excahnge whenever I buy my date rape drug. I didn't know I could get videos, too. Then I wouldn't always have to drug my dates, I could maybe learn from the pros!"
I find that when they say 3-5 days or whatever, it is usually on the lower end. I have never had them go over what they said. Sometimes they don't package it all that well and the package gets torn in small apartment mailboxes (happened twice to me), but nothing dramatic. Just a small tear.
The cost of shipping is comparable to most places and the price is justified. I know, for instance, that a sampler pack of condoms with shipping is way cheaper than buying even a "moderate" brand unless I go to Sam's and buy like 5000 condoms or something. While I've never shopped around for vibrating devices or videos, I've gone with friends to adult video stores before. Most videos cost $50 or more there, while AdamEve has some of the bimboiest flicks for $15 or so. And their devices can range in price from way cheaper to the same as most "novelty stores" even with shipping. While I never bought anyting valued at a thousand bucks or anything, I assume that they have various shipping rates depending on what you buy. I do know that they offer various methods from "next day air" to "standard." So if you are in a rush for a "super strap on" then you can get it by the time whoever you are doing comes over.
I have already discussed searching and touched on the layout. But basically, on the side of the page are the list of categories. When you click on a category it divides it into the subcategories plus offers to show you what's hot and what's new in addition to a link to the shopping guide. When you find something you want, you just add it to your cart until you are ready to check out. You have to have cookies on to do this, though.
Ease and Convenience
I think the best thing, even if privacy isn't your concern, is that of any online vendor. You can get items for the same price or cheaper than where you would normally get them. And you can get all the items in one place and have them within a few days. So even if I didn't have Puritans wanting to put a big llama around my neck, I would still order from AdamEve. Heck, after a night when you realize, "Oh damn, we're out of protection!" you can go borrow a few from a friend and pay them back three fold when your huge order comes in.
Cost in General
As I said before, I think that these prices are very competitive. Some stuff is more than I would assume they are "worth," but it is stuff I would never buy anyway (like a blow-up doll or something, heck I could make one of those out of a balloon, duct tape, a cell phone and two AA batteries...or so I've heard). So I think that the prices are very competitive. If you just use the site for oils and condoms or just for your next lingerie party, it is totally worth it.
This is one of the best places to shop for stuff you may not otherwise buy. It is cheap, ships quickly, and they have a huge variety so that sheep, wolves, and wolves in sheep clothing can find something to fit their "kinkiness level" from classy lingerie to sex toys that most strippers wouldn't know how to use. Try it out, www.adameve.com!
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