xeno3998's Full Review: Grand Theft Auto for Game Boy Color
Sometimes the Xeno3998 must throw in the towel. Some games are so incredibly awful, so murderously disgusting and repugnant, so vile, so evil, so sick and revolting, that I just run and try to save my own life. This, along with Blue Stinger, Who Wants to Be A Milionaire fit into that glowing category of misachievement. Not only is Grand Theft Auto for Game Boy Color a terrible game, it also easily scores the title of biggest piece of GBC drivel ever released, with the possible exception of every other third party game for the console, this one ranks with the demons on GBC.
You're some low life in a big city, who is out to wreak havoc, steal pretty much everything and kill even the smallest microrganism. After recieving orders from some bigwig, you're out on the streets with your weapons, and off to the kill factory.
There is no storyline here, unless you count in the small tranquilities that occur when you go through with your mission (like some idiot having a spasm about a stolen vehicle) then GTA has nothing rewarding about it besides truly horrid gameplay.
From the moment you attempt to start playing this, every move you make is hampered by technical inconsistencies. Moving is made painfully lethargic as you stroll by without ever speeding up unless you get into a vehicle, which becomes uncontrollable, but pretty much speeds up immensely.
When you get into a car, truck or bus, you press the gas button and off you go. Problem here, unless you have lightning quick reflexes and can turn your car on a dime (which in this game, you can't), then you're NEVER going to get ANYWHERE with GTA. Lakes and rivers pop up out of nowhere when you're driving straight ahead on the freeway, then you drive in unknowing and die. It takes ages for that pixelly sh!tpile of yours called a car to make a turn. Walking your character is inadequete, painful and results in Game Boys thrown across the room. Aiming your gun controls decently, but in light of the fact that turning your character is so awful, the aim suffers. I guess the control scheme could be partially managed if you're a patient little masochist, but I must ask why?
Graphically, this game is atrocious. Cars, trucks and especially the people look filthy, and everything else, menus and mission assign animations, are terrible looking even by Game Boy Color standards.
Gameplay is obviously, not good. Driving around cities, five cities that all look the same, but admittedly have slightly different color chades and some newer buildings. The missions you're assigned are boring, require absolutely no gaming skill next to wrestling with the awful controls, and aren't in any way innovative or unique. Though after a while, runing about town killing the locals with a flamethrower or grenade launcher can get fun, the entire game is just so amazingly dull and flawed beyond belief, that it's not worth the effort.
Going through this one, I thought that I would die of both frustration and sheer boredom. GTA is such an insipid, stale, lackluster, stupid, senseless waste of time that I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless you can tolerate a VERY flawed port of a VERY flawed PSX game.
Working your way up the criminal corporate ladder isnt easy. You have to be prompt, courteous, detail-oriented and drive like a maniac. In Grand Theft...More at eBay
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