Porn In The USA - Playboy Store.com
Written: Aug 17 '02 (Updated Aug 17 '02)
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| Full Review |
I was faced with a real dilemma recently. I needed something for my neighbor Jane's surprise birthday party. In Southern California there's only one place to go for porn, filth and X rated antics – and that’s “F Street”. Open 24 hours a day and guarded by brown painted windows – it's the mecca for all things adult. Knowing Jane as well as I do, I knew that most of the stuff that “F Street” stocks would reduce her to a blubbering mound of human Jell-O. She may have crossed over from the cookie baking, Stepford wife, preprogrammed automated female – but she still has a little more walking on the wild side before she reaches the front door of “F Street”.
So I had to turn to the internet to find something for my friend – something a little on the racy side but not anything that involved the words “crotchless”, “batteries required” or “some assembly needed”. On the same token – I didn’t want to be like the other brain dead Tupperware burping suburban clones that would be attending the party – I could have almost guaranteed that at least three of them would arrive with some type of bakeware, another three with something from Bath & Body Works and there’s the ever present gift certificate for a “spa day”. I was right on all accounts. When I tell you the ‘burbs are boring – please believe me!
Site Navigation
Overall the site is nice, but nothing to write home about. There are photos of all the products but in some cases they are not full-length photos so you don’t know exactly what you are getting for your money. Almost all the photos are clickable to enlarge the image or to get more product information.
There are seven main sections accessible from the front page of the site. They cover products for men and women, magazines and books, home products, collectibles and sports. You might have to poke around the site for a while to find exactly what you are looking for but my suggestion is that if you are looking for a gift to check out the Gift Wizard first. This might save you some time and effort and suggest a great gift all at the same time. Using the search function proved to be more of a hassle than just flipping from page to page but you might have been luck than I did with your word searches.
As a whole the site isn’t exactly X rated, I didn’t come across anything offensive but I am certainly not the easiest person to shock. Some of the video covers might be considered offensive to some people – the same with some of the clothing. There isn’t full frontal nudity but it sure is pretty close. If you want to check out the site do so long after the little ones are in bed. See the section for pop ups [below] for more details.
The Big Purchase
With the MasterCard in hand [zero balance] and a $2,500.00 credit limit – I was ready to tackle the situation at hand and do some ‘power shopping’. I didn’t go completely crazy since I’d never purchased Playboy products before [clothing that is] and wanted to make sure that I wasn’t going to receive some cheap pieces of fabric.
Spider Web Catsuit - $21.00 [item # MO5807]
From the description at the site this should be a ‘one size fits most’ type of item. Geared for those in the 90 – 160 pound range [of which I am not] it looks like a great bargain. This is also targeted for those between 5’ and 5’10” [of which I am not a part of] The photos of the catsuit could have been better and you only get to see the top portion of it – so you don’t know how risqué it really is until you get it. Out of morbid curiosity I ordered two of these, one for Jane and one for myself. I do not fall within the suggest height or weight requirements [I’m almost 6 foot tall] so I wanted to get a good laugh and see how much of my body I could squeeze into this before the red lights started flashing and the sirens started to wail. Much as I expected, The suit lasted about a half hour before it started to give the tell tale signs of ‘seam stress’. I’m not fat, but I am muscular so normal ‘off the rack’ stuff that is designed for the one size fits all crowd usually doesn’t work for me. Jane’s fit perfectly and she really seemed to like it – since she’s shorter than me she had no problem at all fitting into it.
Americana Crop Tee - $ 22.00 [item # MO8002]
I knew Jane wanted a t-shirt like this ever since she saw one at the mall and was kicking herself for not picking it up when she had the chance. As soon as I saw this on the Playboy Store website I knew that this would be a sure hit with her and her squeal of excitement when she opened the gift bag sealed the deal. It looks like it shrunk a little after she washed it but I never heard her complain once about the snug fit.
Additionally I planned on picking up Jane a cute little bikini [the red, white and blue one] but almost fell over when I saw the price tag of $79.00. Why is it that the less material a garment has the higher the price tag?
Gift Wizard
A very nice function of the site – this allows you to see gifts recommended by the site after answering just a few simple questions [sex, build, age and price range]. Depending on the answers you select you can se anywhere from 5 to 20 items that would be idea for the person you are shopping for.
Pop Ups
While I was on the site I did get a few pop ups – about half of which were adult in nature. I highly suggest that if you are going to browse the site you do so well after the little ones are tucked in bed. None of them contained actual nudity, but they were on the racy side. Clicking off one of them didn’t cause a roll over [where more windows open] but in all honesty I did find that five or six pop ups in a half hour time frame to be a little overboard.
Methods of Payment
Playboy.com accepts the usual credit cards – MasterCard, Visa, American Express and Discover Card. You can also mail in a personal check or money order to the post office box if you prefer not to pay by credit card. You can fax your order to the Playboy store or mail it in but please keep in mind that C.O.D. [cash on delivery] orders are not accepted. If you live in the state of Illinois you will have to pay the appropriate state sales tax when you complete your checkout.
I’ve paid for my Playboy Store orders with my credit cards and have never been double billed, over billed or charged an amount other than what was quoted at the time of my check out.
Shipping Fees
It just doesn’t get any simpler than this – all orders are charged a flat shipping fee of $7.95 for delivery. If you order a $12,95 tank top – the shipping is $7.95. Order $800.00 in videotapes – the shipping fee is $7.95. Out of curiosity I called the shipping department and asked about the Playboy Pinball Machine and was told that it too would only cost $7.95 to ship it. If you plan on making a purchase of a large item or one that you feel would cost more than $7.95 to ship – call before you start the checkout process just to double check what the fee will be.
Return Policy
If you purchased something that doesn’t appeal to you once you receive it you have a full 30 days from the date of delivery to return it for a refund or exchange. To do so please contact the customer service department to obtain a R.M.A [return merchandise authorization] number and a pre paid postage sticker. Unlike most companies you won’t have to foot the bill on returning the merchandise. A portion of your shipping fees may also be refunded but this is taken on a case-by-case situation so ask about this when you call to make arrangements for your product return.
Contact Information
http://store.playboy.com
Playboy Customer Service
P.O. Box 809
Itasca IL 60143 – 0809
[800] 993 – 6339 – Customer Service Line
[630] 775 – 3355 - Fax
Operators are available from 7:00 a.m. through 8:00 p.m. Central Standard Time, Monday through Friday. Saturday hours are 9:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. Central Standard Time
pbstore@playboy.com - General questions, queries, concerns or site information.
pbstoremember@playboy.com - For questions about your account with Playboy.com
The Bottom Line
I was pleased with the shipping time of the products that I ordered as well as the overall quality of the products received. I knew upfront that the Spider Web Catsuit I ordered for myself would more than likely not fit me but I couldn’t resist the temptation of ordering it. Jane was extremely pleased with her gifts and mentioned that she would be heading to the site to see what other little oddities they had in stock.
The site isn’t limited to just apparel, they stock a large assortment of video tapes [of the non XXX genre] and DVD’s, older copies of the magazine, sport related items such as golf balls and dart boards, Playboy collectible dolls and even a Playboy cooler. Chances are if you are looking for something with the Playboy trademarked logo on it – it can be found on the pages of the Playboy Store site.
The flat rate shipping fee makes this site attractive for those that are a little too shy to purchase products from a retail establishment however some of the prices might be a little too high for some potential customers. This isn’t a site that I will frequent often but it is nice to know that the products are available at an online site if I should need to order them in the future.
As always, thanks for the visit!
^V^ Freak ^V^
© 2002 Freak369
Recommended:
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About the Author
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About Me: 7% Terminator, 4% silicone, 38% muscle, 51% freak
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