The Bottom Line I'd prefer a whack to the head with a blunt object.
Full Review
Crap.
A word that appropriately describes River Songs from Pennsylvania contemporary folk act The Badlees. I really wanted to enjoy the album. I’d heard two of the album’s songs even before I shelled out a very minimal amount of money to own River Songs. Alas, it wasn’t to be. The Badlees are not in fact in the least bit interesting or in the least bit worth my $5.
The first time I heard Angeline Is Coming Home and Fear of Falling was in the summer of 1996 while I was briefly residing in southern Michigan. Both tracks felt like comfortable pop-rock and peaked my interest. Factor in that I wasn’t in the most stable of emotional places and there you have the reason I extended my hand and wallet to The Badlees. Today, this is one of the few albums I regret purchasing in haste.
That’s not to say River Songs is all bad. As I’ve already mentioned, there are a few okay enough tracks. Though, as the album wears on I find my attention waning the songs becoming more and more tiresome. The Badlees came into existence in the late 1980’s with the joining of Pete Palladino (vocals), Paul Smith (bass), Ron Simasek (drums), Bret Alexander (guitar) and Jeff Feltenberger (guitar). The quintet went on to release two mediocre independent albums before being signed to A&M and releasing the travesty that I would thusly purchase.
Not one of the albums recorded by The Badlees has been of any interest. In fact, the only reason that River Songs was awarded any attention was because of it’s label. Otherwise, it too would have faded into its deserved obscurity. In all honesty, The Badlees sound like a copycat act of Collective Soul mixed with Barenaked Ladies. The band really pales in comparison to the much more talented, yet somehow still similar Better Than Ezra.
The two most notable points of the album are also the two singles I’ve already mentioned. The stark, folk feel of Angeline is Coming Home is on the surface pleasing. But, once you peel back the layers it’s obvious that the production values aren’t of high importance. Nor do they lend well to the content. The song is tinny in sound and hollow in motive. Not even the harmonica (which works nice with other bands…most notably Blues Traveler) can save the song. Singer Palladino has an interesting tenor to his voice, though nothing separates him from the scads of similar singers.
Fear of Falling is probably the best song on River Songs. Not that there are really any truly impressive points of interest. Once again, at the center of the lackluster performance rests an amateur harmonica, stark production, and not particularly purposeful instrumentation. The one thing that at a moment here and there saves the song is the melody mixed with Palladino’s at times rich vocals. But damn! The vocals are trite:
I have no fear of falling,
but I hate hitting the ground
Uh. Yeah…
As the album continues, it gets worse. Much, much worse if that’s at all possible. The songs are much too long. The instruments are monotonous and Palladino’s vocals seem at times to be forced and at others to be strained. Angel of Mercy is boring…droning on for almost five minutes I have to slap myself to stay awake. This song reflects what happens when a band lacks talent. I do believe that if given the right material they might be able to do something of interest. Then again, they write the lyrics, do their own production, and play their own instruments. Maybe that just means that they lack talent.
Worse yet is Grill The Sucker a piece of cliché folk poo. The Badlees try nothing new with the song. It sounds like something culled from the least talented hillbillies. And yes, it continues along a similarly painful path. Queen of Perfection features Palladino choking out cobbled together lyrics that could have been written by a junior high flunky. It has meaning…sort of…
Bendin’ the Rules sounds just like the rest. The tempo is slowed a bit, but it is still horribly boring. Many of the tracks feature stories. The problem is that they make little sense. The words seem as though they have been thrown together in a vain attempt to rhyme nicely and sound good. Gwendolyn is another failure with The Badlees dropping names like Woody Allen. Yup. You read that right. It’s brilliant…errr…not really.
Yet somehow River Songs manages to be consistent. Consistently dismal. Ore Hill has some melodic prowess, though I can’t help but despise the shoddy production and forced acoustic feel. The Badlees don’t sound comfortable on their instruments or the microphone. The lyrics are once again full of clichés and bad imagery:
That grandpa had lost his will
To take a walk up old ore hill
To the land of a thousand shadows
And things would come around
Yeah. Okay. I’ll spoil the secret and tell you that Grandpa killed himself with pills and wine at age 39 and went to, and I quote, “To the land of a thousand shadows.” Folk music generally tells a great story. Since that’s the case, then I have problems really calling The Badlees folk.
Nothing Much of Anything is an appropriate title. It’s not much of a song. Song for a River on the other hand thinks it’s much more important than it actually is. At a painful 8:17, it’s much too long and boring to warrant any kind of investigation. Skip it or you’ll regret your experience.
River Songs finally wraps up with I Liked You Better When You Hated Yourself. It’s not particularly painful, just sing-songy and strange in a bad way. But, then again if you make it all the way to this point in the album you should be accustomed to truly crappy music. Then again, you might just be ready to down a fifth of Jack Daniels. Either way, you’ll be numb, nauseous, and sleepy.
Is it obvious? River Songs is crap.
Crap. Crap. Crap.
I couldn’t possibly recommend this to anybody…not even for .50¢. Maybe not even for free. If you feel like punishing yourself you might better enjoy a swift kick to the head or listening to…say…Creed. On the other hand if you like the idea of music like The Badlees, but about a hundred times better consider Better Than Ezra. At least they have talent even if they don’t always produce perfect material. 1/5 stars.
Rating: 1/5 stars
Track Listing:
01. Angeline Is Coming Home
02. Fear of Falling
03. Angels of Mercy
04. Grill the Sucker
05. Queen of Perfection
06. Bendin’ the Rules
07. Gwendolyn
08. Ore Hill
09. Nothing Much of Anything
10. Song for a River
11. I Liked You Better When You Hated Yourself.
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