When Elerad first sent me an email asking me to participate in a ’10 all-time favorite Epinions write-off’, the world was a different place. Epinions’ new format hadn’t even been announced, let alone implemented, hits were still easy to come by, email notifications worked, and perhaps most importantly, Elerad hadn’t decided to make his entry in the write-off his Epinions swan song.

I agreed to participate, even back then, for several reasons. First off, I missed out participating in Cmuir’s ‘Favorite Epinionator’ write-off—an event that I thought was a nice way to promote some good feelings on a site where a lot of different cliques were starting to get cranky with each other. Secondly, I thought picking 10 reviews I loved would be far easier than trying to write solely about 1 writer on the site. Of course, I was wrong.

Compiling this list has been one of the most difficult undertakings of my Epinions career. I’ve been a member of the site for over a year—I’ve read a lot of reviews. And while it’s easy to spend 10 minutes on the just in page (or whatever they’re calling it now) and get disgusted by clicking on one mediocre review after another, this write-off has demonstrated that there are some excellent writers on this site—writers who are easily turning out work of professional caliber for a website that offers a few paltry pennies per hit.

As I mentioned, choosing 10 reviews was a challenging task. I went through my WOT and made a list of each author who’d written something that I thought was extraordinary—and ended up with a list of just about every one I trust. I narrowed my focus, trying to single out specific reviews. This narrowed down the list a bit (mainly because my criteria was to look at a name only—not a list of reviews. If I looked at a name and a specific review—or reviews—popped into my head, they made the list). I pared it down a bit further, and finally got to 10 reviews—but not without having to cut some titles that deserved the honor.

Anyway, one last thing and I’ll shut up and get to the list. I’m a film advisor at Epinions. I read a lot of film reviews (and I happen to think that site’s finest writing often comes from the film category—there are no less 10-15 film reviewers on this site who could be professional critics)—therefore my list is focused in that direction. I read a lot of books, music, and game reviews too. so, if you’re looking for a bunch of Kids and Family reviews, or editorials, or electronics pieces, you’ll have to look elsewhere—I’m not all that interested in reading that stuff personally, hence it’s not represented on the list. What is represented here are 10 reviews by authors whose work I consistently admire, and who often make me jealous of their prodigious talent with the written word.

And now, without further adieu, Mike_Bracken’s 10 Favorite Epinions of all time…in no particular order.

10. JANesbit1’s The Mother of All Modern Horror Movies (http://www.epinions.com/mvie-review-35D4-BB6BA21-396775D9-prod3) John Nesbit is easily one of Epinions’ finest film reviewers, and this piece gets my vote as his best piece of writing on the site. Professor J. tackles Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho and deconstructs this cinematic masterpiece with a surgical precision that rivals many of the scholarly pieces published about this landmark film. If you’re not familiar with John’s work, this is an excellent starting point—and trust me, after reading this one, you’ll be coming back for more.

9. Erinys’ The Desert of the Heart (http://www.epinions.com/mvie-review-4FCF-23FE8AA-3A20D6A7-prod1) Picking just one entry from Erinys was a difficult task (it was hard to choose just one entry from everyone on the list, but a few were almost impossible). I was particularly torn between this piece (a review of Beat Takeshi Kitano’s Violent Cop and a list of her 10 favorite animation films for adults (which is largely responsible for my newfound interest in anime). I went with this one because I thought it demonstrated a profound understanding of a difficult film—and I thought it was a better piece of writing than my own take on the same movie. However, it’s not only her reviews that make her one of my favorite writers on the site—it’s her comments as well. I first encountered Erinys after she left some critical comments concerning two choices on my Top 10 Zombie Films list. We didn’t (and still don’t) agree about the merits (or lack thereof) of those two films, but I found an author who’s intelligent, articulate, and one of the fiercest and most knowledgeable debaters I’ve ever encountered. If you’re not reading Erinys, then you’re missing out—she’s one of the site’s best kept secrets.

8. Jodhisattva’s Radiohead: The View From Under the Knife (http://www.epinions.com/musc-review-5B38-131DD9DB-39EE5580-prod5) Choosing one piece from Jody was another challenging exercise, but not for the normal reasons. I’m a white guy who loves hip-hop, so I’m not intimately familiar with a lot of the music Jody writes about. However, there’s no real greater testament to the power of her words than the fact that even though I don’t know squat about most of the stuff she writes about, she keeps me coming back for more. Jody’s written dozens of excellent reviews, and this piece on Radiohead’s Kid A album is just one of them. The thing that makes Jody’s music reviews so special isn’t her encyclopedic knowledge of genres and history—it’s the little personal touches, the asides about how the music often affects her own life that make the pieces such standouts. Aside from covering music, she also writes some fantastic pieces about NYC and life in general. Why she isn’t writing books or reviews for major music magazines is a mystery to me—she’s one of the writers on this site who consistently makes me feel like a hack.

7. Sleestakk’s Marilyn Manson’s Holy Wood (http://www.epinions.com/musc-review-4011-3055CF31-3A15CABC-prod3) Sleestakk isn’t as prolific as he used to be, but as this review attests, he’s still one of the best writers on the site. Slee’s take on Marilyn Manson’s latest isn’t so much a review as a master’s thesis dealing with the recurring themes in the shock rocker’s work, the state of the world, and a whole lot of other things. Simply put, this is a tour de force piece that is really too good to be languishing on this website—it should be in a magazine, or a book, or somewhere out there where it will reach people. I’ve seen some masterful writing here at Epinions, but this piece stands as one of the best of the best.

6. ChrisJarmick’s The Infamous Cannibal Ferox aka Make Them Die Slowly (http://www.epinions.com/mvie-review-A3C-363E8E0-3A23C226-prod1) I was torn here between this review and Chris’ take on Dario Argento’s seminal giallo, Deep Red. Both reviews are well written, highly informative, and insightful in regards to the focus films as well as the director’s oeuvre and the movie climate that spawned them. I went with the Cannibal Ferox piece only because it’s a more obscure film than Argento’s movie—and I think really good reviews of obscure films should be promoted. Chris does it all here—covering the film, the popularity of the Italian cannibal subgenre in the early 80s, and even musing a bit about why we’d want to see a movie like this in the first place. This is an excellent review from a reviewer who doesn’t get as much attention as he should.

5.Jordan_Tar’s That B*tch, stealing Paul Corvino! (http://www.epinions.com/mvie-review-1889-354C786F-3A0EB159-prod6) Jordan’s profile page mentions that he’s a sophomore in high school, which makes his already impressive work even more incredible to me. Jordan’s another criminally under-read member of Epinions, with an impressive sized body of work covering mostly movies and books. The piece I’ve chosen is a review of Dario Argento’s Phenomena, a film generally regarded as one of the director’s lesser works. Jordan digs into the film with a keen and incisive eye for not only Argento’s work overall, but for subtext and influences as well. He picks up on a sexual subtext in the film that I’d never really noticed and even goes as far as to draw comparisons to stories such as Lady Chatterly’s Lover. This is easily one of the best Argento reviews on the site—and indicative of the quality of Jordan’s work overall.

4. Grouch (http://www.epinions.com/user-grouch?tk=MM033.1.1) I’m not even gonna pick one single review here—just go to the profile page and dig in. Grouch is certainly in the upper upper echelon of writers at this site, a gifted wordsmith who makes every review he pens a joy to read thanks to both his wonderful style and his finely developed voice. He writes with passion, power, and precision…and I’ve never seen a subpar piece with his name next to it (no small feat when you’ve written over 300 pieces at the site). If you haven’t been reading this guy, then you’re missing out.

3.Elerad’s These Guys are Good (http://www.epinions.com/mvie-review-6C09-4F1E8E22-3A50CAD1-prod6) Elerad has been one of my favorite reviewers since he first joined the site—and the fact that he’s hosting this shindig has nothing to do with me including him here. This review is one of his more recent pieces, an entry concerning Johnny To’s Hong Kong action flick, The Mission. This review isn’t any better than the rest of John’s work, but it demonstrates one of the things that impresses me about his oeuvre as a whole—his consistency. Anyone’s capable of hitting a home run once in a blue moon, but it’s the guys who do it day in and day out who consistently amaze us. I think the same thing goes for writing—a great review is impressive, but 100 great reviews is even more impressive. John’s writing is excellent, his knowledge of his subject matter impressive, but perhaps best of all is the fact that his love for his subject matter shines through in each and every review. I often get the impression that Elerad would write these reviews even if he weren’t getting any money for it. I’m sorry to hear that he’s planning on leaving the site—but I’m sure his work will be turning up somewhere when he has more time to write.

2. ZentropaJK’s Stanley Kubrick’s Primal Stir: The Shining (http://www.epinions.com/mvie-review-7325-498422A4-3A564111-prod3) Again, trying to pick one review is pretty much impossible, but since I already cheated with Grouch, I used the scientific method of flipping a coin to make the choice here. I had the pleasure of meeting Jeremiah last summer, and I can assure you that he’s as funny and articulate in person as he is on the printed page (or your monitor). His knowledge of film is amazing, and it shows in his work. For this list, I chose his review of Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. It’s no secret that I’m a major Kubrick fanboy, and I think this is one of the best reviews of the film I’ve ever read. As always, Zenny gives you the basic info—who’s in it, historical context, and so on. Then he pulls out the astute observations and analysis, and this (coupled with a highly readable style) is what makes his reviews so impressive. Nothing slips past the radar, and you come away from his reviews with not only an idea as to whether or not you’d like the film, but also with a keener understanding of what you’re going to see.

1. Mangiotto’s Beat Takeshi Kitano’s Comedic Eye: Kikujiro (http://www.epinions.com/content_7130943108) What’s left to say about Walter? Nothing much—other than that he’s one of the best film reviewers on this site, he’s incredibly prolific, and he’s not afraid to call a spade a spade. Throughout his Epinions career, he’s been known as the ‘king of the pan’—no one flays a bad movie quite the way Walter does. However, while his pans are good, his praise reviews are just as impressive. It wasn’t easy to choose a review for this list—Mangiotto has written some excellent Argento reviews (which I’m pretty jealous of, actually) and some fabulous stuff about the films of Beat Takeshi Kitano (and yeah, the green-eyed monster generally makes an appearance when I read those pieces as well). I went with his most recent Beat Takeshi review, a piece on the film Kikujiro. As always, the review is insightful and fact-filled—you’ll come away from it knowing all you need to know about the film in order to decide if you want to see it or not. However, like many of the other reviewers on this list, Walter writes well—so well that it’s hard not to get caught up in the beauty of the review itself. Every Mangiotto review features several sentences that I wish I could have written on top of the several insights I wish I was smart enough to have caught. What makes this even more impressive is the fact that Walter is one of the most prolific contributors to the site—a guy who churns out several professional quality reviews a day. I only wish I could do that…

No list would be complete without the list of honorable mentions—10 is a small number when you’ve got 70 or so legitimate contenders for those few slots. Here are some other authors who’ve continually impressed me with their work here—READ THEM!

Carcharias (who would’ve made the list if not for an Epinions glitch that’s currently rendered him invisible)
KCHowell
Javadevil
Wokelstein
Brando814
Psychovant
Furie
Megasoul (my favorite chump)
Zackeriah
Y2JMcDohl
Shadow8
Energy81
Brando814
Lars_Lindahl
KingpinLJC
Jaderabbit
Curtis Edmonds
Endora60
Gr8Dane
Vollman
Ladyvamp
Brundledan
Mattjoe
Mordred
and the King of Epinions, Chrisbickel

(my sincere apologies to anyone else I forgot—this list has been a harrowing experience, and I’m never doing another write-off like this again.)

Last but not least…be sure and check out the reviews of following writers, all of whom have made lists of their own: Shadow8 - Donlee Brussel – Psychovant - Mangiotto – Teykaerts - Lars Lindahl - Janesbit1 – Furie – JMARJANCIK – Brundledan – Kboo – Elerad – Iculookn –Epicure – Sloucho - Sparkfan77 - Sfoster79 - John_G


Recommended: Yes