Breasts, love, Pokemon and killer koalas: 10 Fav Epinions WO
Written: Feb 02 '01 (Updated Feb 10 '01)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Always wanted to do that!
Cons: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Did it again! MUHAHAHAHA
The Bottom Line: The five rating there is for the old Epinions. We all know that the new Epinions does not even deserve 1 star.
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| Josh_G's Full Review: Archived Web Services Reviews |
The purpose of this write-off is to list our top 10 favorite Epinions. Since my top 10 favorites are all written by me I was all excited to write a lengthily article about how much of a writing virtuoso I am. You can picture how downhearted I was finding out that we couldn’t choose our own articles. Do you realize how many of these things I have read?! I am reading here a lot. The only other thing besides Epinions I do online is prowl in Single Mothers chat trying to get torrid cyber sex by telling them that I am really rich because I am the creator of Teletubbies and Blue's Clues!
So I scoured through many of the noteworthy Epinions I have read in the past 8 months. I have been very lazy the past month with both writing and reading. I apologize about that. I am just in a creative lapse here and I also hate how Epinions completely destroyed the once perfect site. In the past few days I have been catching up on some of my reading, reading some of the Epinions from some of my fav writers, old and new Epinions. I will get around to others soon, I promise.
You will notice that a majority of these favorites are humorous and smartass articles. There are a number of these I remember reading that made me laugh my butt off. I love reading these because I love laughing, period. I am a funny and crazy SOB myself so I know how it feels to have something funny to say and writing it down. I tried being normal once, for about a day, but it just did not suit me. After all, how many of us are even normal? Most of us have something different and special about us. If you do not then you are a loser and a follower and you will forever suffer for your decision to lead a boring and
worthless life. Now for the top 10....
10. ‘Henry Fool’ A Genius In Disguise
(http://www.epinions.com/mvie-review-39D1-4B8D3C0-378D3BE6-bd1)
by Scorsessian
Why did I pick this one? It is not the best written article but it is a very good analysis of a very great film.I first read this one after I had rented the film Henry Fool about 6 months ago because I wanted to see how many wrote about it. Back then I was not rating a lot of the articles I read because I did not see the great benefits is gives someone to have their article rated by everyone who reads it and I was not writing much. I changed my view later on and remembered this article when this write-off came up. I went back to it because I think that everyone should see this film. Of course not everyone is going to like it but I think that most will. The writer is right when he says that this movie is a love letter to the people in the streets. It is about talent, faith, and never giving up. Director Hal Hartly gives us some of the most complex and well drawn characters I have seen in a long time.
9. Epinions 10 Hottest Women...
(http://www.epinions.com/user-review-3C8F-82CCEC1-395E66A0-prod4)
by Almighty
What can be better than a Epinions style beauty pageant! The only thing missing here is a massive cat fight to declare the real champion. That is how it should have been decided. I liked the idea for this Epinion so much that I was thinking of writing a similar one myself. Almighty certainly did his research for this one! It was well written and whoever thinks that it is sexist needs to tone down the PC crap. I think I saw some of those protestors on ER. Noah Wyle was attempting to take the bug out of their butt.
8. Worst Gig Write-Off: The Chicken Wire Should Have Tipped Me Off!!!
(http://www.epinions.com/inst-review-430B-DCFB9F5-39FC846D-prod2)
by Sparkospunky
This is the reason why I will never become a musician. Well this and the fact that I sing like a dying cow. Mike’s vivid recount of the gig from hell is just priceless. I really started laughing when he was describing the questionable crowd there to watch them perform. What kind of a hellhole was this though? I have been to some crazy bars but nothing like that. The craziest thing that ever happened to me was... well, I don’t want to reveal that much about myself.
7. XXX Men and Women in Tights
(http://www.epinions.com/mvie-review-1354-618C753-39590C34-prod1)
by Donlee Brussel
This may not seem as funny to some as it does to me. Of course everyone is going to laugh while reading this because Donlee is one funny bastard. I find it funnier than most because of the history behind it. Donlee got ripped apart for this review by lame and childish X-Men fans who were expecting this mediocre film to be more monumental than the birth of Christ. Donlee and I were both playing an online game called Mr. Showbiz Box Office Challenge. Some infantile nitwits playing that game were showering the boardrooms with stupid comments saying that Donlee had not even seen the movie at a test screening like he said he had. There were people saying there were no test screenings taking place at all even though the Internet displayed negative and positive buzz about the movie people who had attended a test screening. I admired Donlee for sticking to his guns and not letting the idiots get him too upset. As it turned out X Men was far from flawless and reminded me a lot of the last two Batman movies.
6. M.Night in the Garden of Sophistication and Idiocy
(http://www.epinions.com/mvie-review-163E-5AABB1A-3A29961F-prod1)
by Wokelstein
Even though he liked Unbreakable more, I totally agree with Wokelstein on a lot of his points. There were some parts of this film that were brilliantly shot. Too bad the film had to become so unexciting and asinine. When I saw this film I was totally disappointed and thought about walking out. The film was getting laughs from the audience in the wrong places, especially the corny conclusion. At least when we laugh at this article we know that Wokelstein intended it to be that way. The writer here attentively thought over the film to point out what he did and did not like, unlike myself who basically could not find much to like in the film when I first saw it. When I look back now there are some scenes which are probably better than I had originally thought. After reading this review maybe I will go back and watch this again on AFTER to see if I will enjoy it more.
5. worse than Purple Rain - also not as funny
(http://www.epinions.com/mvie-review-449C-D99D57B-394DC25A-prod5)
by mangiotto
If you read my list of worst movies of all time you will have noticed that I listed Showgirls at #2. It is neither funny, sexy, nor engrossing. This articles describes what is what with the film with an in depth analysis and tons of humor. For instance, who knew Michael Bolton was a sex offender. I also wonder if Elizabeth Berkley flopped around like a Dolphin with Slater on Saved By The Bell. It is easy to hate this pornographic trash but easy to love mangiotto’s article. I just can not believe that mangiotto rented this. I refused to rent it when it came out. I caught it one night on Pay Per View when the station was not scrambled. I figured, “Well since I get a chance to see boobies for free I might as well do it.”
4. I’ve Been To Hell
(http://www.epinions.com/mvie-review-603E-6386518-38D884CA-prod2)
by The_Wood
Anyone who has children probably knows full well the awful effects that the cult known as Pokemon has on today’s society. These violent critters must be stopped and this review of Pokemon The First Movie explains why. Wood takes a very humorous look at this film, undoubtedly the worst of 1999, and how it made poor customers in the Suncoast store he works at walk out in horror. When this film came out I had to review it for EGuide Magazine and I too felt like running out screaming for my life. At least Wood gives us something to laugh about here when in actuality children’s obsession with this trash
is not funny at all.
3. An Incredibly Sexy Chinaman's Perspective: Get Laid Write Off (GLWO)
(http://www.epinions.com/kifm-review-3189-A401A08-39D7A305-prod5)
by Donlee Brussel
Screw Women Are From Mars, Men Are From Venus. This is the ultimate romance and dating guide for the new millenium. Donlee had a lot to say and said it with hilarity and honesty. Every woman needs to read this in order to learn how to act properly. The only thing I do not agree with is #2. No does mean no and it always has. But I will agree that if a woman dresses like a slut they should expect to be treated like one. This Epinion is vulgar but that is all part of the hilarity of it. It is frank and to the point. Donlee should distribute this to local school kids to teach them the rules of dating before it’s too late. Well done. P.S. I was kidding about distributing this to children. Just thought I would say that before someone decided to do it and told authorities that I told them they should. I don’t want to spend time in a cell with my only dates being with the big guy Brutus.
2. These Elders Could Be My Parents or Your own!
(http://www.epinions.com/kifm-review-6BD4-48DFE66B-3A549CA2-prod3)
by Mimi369
This excellent writer emailed me about a month ago asking if we could trade Epinions. She would read mine while I would read hers. As I read through her list of Epinions I really liked all that I saw. Some touched me more than others but her good writing was evident throughout. I already had one of her Epinions which I was going to list here when I saw this latest one which she wrote about a month ago. Although I do not care for adults with disabilities, I do work with them at a special art studio. I am making friends I may not have met otherwise. Also, my dear grandmother was in a rest home for about six years before recently passing. As Mimi wondered if and when she gets too sick to care for herself and thinks “Would I be loved? Would my family members still come around to see and talk with me?” I hoped grandmother felt our presence all the times a member of the family was there for her. It’s great that these people have someone along with family to care for them everyday. They are not only helping the patients but also the families who know that their loved ones are in good hands.
1. Thin skin, whining, apathetic inertia and pop tarts
(http://www.epinions.com/user-review-4F74-114CCEF5-39C657D9-pod3)
by CwrnPuppet
HA HA HA! This article is so funny that I practically spit out the water I was drinking while reading it. We all know which kind of people on this site irk us. I have written articles venting my frustrations towards these morons. This is CwrnPuppet’s little diatribe about the type of members we all wish would take a long walk on a short plank and fall into a pit of man eating koalas. This article makes a very valid point. If someone is too lazy to correct mistakes in their short little article they should expect all of the criticism they receive and expect a NR. From reading some of the articles, I think some of the people who write on Epinions would lose an IQ challenge to my two month old nephew. Also, I have gotten a tiny bit upset, notice how I said tiny bit, when I got an NR from someone for no apparent reason, or when they start making up reasons why your writing sucks. I am willing to take constructive criticism though. Any writer should be able to. If you are not, please leave this site and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
Others that took part in this write-off are Elerad (the mastermind), Shadow8, Donlee_Brussel, Psychovant, Mike_Bracken, Teykaerts, Lars_Lindahl, Janesbit1, JMARJANCIK, Brundledan, Kboo, Mangiotto, I_culookn, Epicure, Sloucho, Sparkfan77, Sfoster79, and Josh_G
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
Josh_G
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Member: Josh Gilchrist
Location: Montana
Reviews written: 82
Trusted by: 118 members
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