|
|
I'll cut you... Part. IIFeb 09 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
Popular Products in Garden
The Bottom Line This is how I chose an axe. Each job needs a different axe.
When I found out the woman’s cheatin’ had left me with the clap, I was mad. I was real mad. I was so mad that when I buried my axe deep into her whorin’ skull, the handle snapped like my broken heart. The axe was lost. Lodged deep within her backstabbing brains. “great.” I thought, now I couldn’t garbage dispose her head... and I needed a new axe. That was it. The last straw. I wasn’t puttin’ up with this $hit no more. Years ago at the local Renaissance fair I bought an authentic battle-axe. While sharp and heavy enough to kill a man with little effort, the battle-axe felt too decorative in my hand. It’s pronged spikes, serrated edges and six-foot handle was too haute for my taste. I left the battle-axe embedded in the hood of some @ssholes car. He had cut someone off for the last time. You should have seen the look of terror in his eye as I stepped from my car and plunged the axe through his windshield. Pulling it out and spinning on my heels to build momentum, I brought the axe to rest in the hood of his car. It was on to the bank. I cashed out my savings and with it, bought every axe that I could find. I filled my trunk with axes. You’d be surprised as to the lack of diversity of axes. They come in single and double bit. Hatchet and full sized. In specialty stores you can find fire-axes and other special use axes. I held the axes in my hand, running my fingers across their fresh virgin blades. Once an axe is christened with blood, it is a good axe. I sliced my hand with the blade of each axe, smearing my clap infested blood sensually across each one. It was erotic. So erotic that I became aroused. I covered my bed in axes and lay with them. Spreading across my sheets and floor a layer of cellophane, I dragged the corpse of my girlfriend into my room. In a night of pure and lustful passion I dismembered the STD ridden torso of my long dead girlfriend, hacking it to bits with each and every axe. Through trial and error, I found my favorite axe. The chosen axe. This was how I chose my axe. By the way... I chose a single steel bit with a 4 ft. curved cherrywood handle.  |
| Read all comments (3)|Write your own comment |
|
Ads by Google
|
