Do it only if you want to...
Feb 14 '01
The Bottom Line .
Today on the radio, in the paper, on TV and even here in epinions I heard about the 'propaganda' or 'commercialism' of Valentines Day.
"It's all a ploy by Hallmark and Hersey's to make a mint".
"FTD staff extra people on the phones for the suckers."
And my favourite, the perennial guys cop-out:
"Why do I need a special day to show my affection? I live Valentines Day 365 days a year..."
"ACK! Barf." to quote Bill the Cat.
(And BTW - I want to meet the guy who is romantic 24/7, 365 days a year - Actually, maybe I don't...).
Okay, you have to bear with me here, but from a guys perspective, the way I see it is that Valentines Day has two great potentials depending on the scenario.
Scenario 1: The single guy
A simple question:
What other day in the year do you get to walk up to a girl you've:
• been petrified to talk to
• admired for months
• just met
• lusted after
• really wanted to just have a good long chat with
• all of the above
and make her day with no strings attached?
The age old question such as "Would you be my Valentine?" which can have as much "tongue in cheekness" as you want can go miles.
If nothing else you get to give an indirect compliment to someone you admire and maybe, just maybe, make their day (or who knows what else...).
Today, one of my single friends said the following to me:
"A lot of guys have given up on Valentines Day and boy are they missing out! I don't mean the buying chocolates & a dozen roses crap, I just mean they can put a smile on a friend's|date's|lover's face. How this isn't good I don't know."
I know this sounds stupid guys, but really, truly, it's the thought that counts.
Scenario 2: The "spoken for" guy
There are too many scenarios to begin to lay out here (dating/newly weds/married for X years), but I boil it down to the following three facts:
• Valentines Day is not about her
• Valentines Day is not about you
• Valentines Day is about whatever brought you together
A brief pause while most of your guffaw at my hokey-ness
.
.
.
Okay.
Recovered?!?
Good.
Again?
Fine. Done now? Good.
But think about it.
Remember that initial spark? That first date/day/week/month?
Remember skipping out on work or ditching your buddies or sneaking around "just in case it didn't work out"?
If you are still in the honeymoon phase, THEN WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING READING EPINIONS! Oh...a breather...I understand.
If you have unfortunately passed this 'honeymoon period', then I challenge that you haven't let things slide sometimes throughout the year.
Unfortunately I know I do. That awful phrase "take things for granted" may even come into play a few times too often.
I'm not saying to go out and get artificially romantic.
I'm not saying celebrate Valentines Day by doing anything you don't want to do, especially if you have an excuse or feeling such as:
"It's all a ploy by Hallmark and Hersey's to make a mint".
"FTD staff extra people on the phones for the suckers."
"Why do I need a special day to show my affection? I live Valentines Day 365 days a year..."
In fact if you have any of these floating in your mind and you *DO* buy chocolates, flowers or write a sappy card because you:
• feel you have to
• think she will hold it over you for months/years
then all I can say is you missed the boat.
AND DON'T DO IT!
If you do anything, anything at all, do it because you want to remember (and maybe rekindle) a little something of what brought the two of you together in the first place. Do it because you can share happiness with another.
"Hey! This is all malarky! My girlfriend HATES Valentine's Day"
Fine.
But you know what. She likes you.
B*itch together about the commercialism.
B*itch about how roses are a waste of money.
Even laugh at the saps who burn their house down with a 1000 candles.
But use Valentines Day as a reminder. Nothing bad can come of it if you do this simple thing. Find what makes the two of you happy, whenever, however. Trust me. It will enrich your life.
Stepping down from soapbox now...
So what did I do today on Valentine's Day?
I tried to buy a plot of land. It didn't work. I got stressed.
My wife had an awful day at work. She got stressed.
We collectively wondered when and how we went from Carefree to Careful to Worrysome.
My gift:
A potted tulip plant to represent the land I was supposed to buy.
Her gift:
A box of Smarties, since it was what my mom used to give me when I had a bad day as a kid.
Our gift:
Remembering a little bit of what brought us together.
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Epinions.com ID:
cwkemp
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Member: Colin Kemp
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Reviews written: 26
Trusted by: 20 members
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