I can not believe I am reviewing a can opener. But I am.
Written: Mar 19 '03 (Updated Apr 02 '03)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Hmmm.... well, it eventually gets my soup cans open
Cons: Never punctures can on first attempt;
Rips off can labels;
"Skips" spots on can rim
The Bottom Line: I CAN NOT GET THIS DARN THING TO WORK!
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| sarahalm's Full Review: Farberware Professional Can Opener |
Okay, normally I review two things: hotels and restaurants. I feel like I have pretty much figured out what information to gather on those subjects, and how to present it in a useful manner. I tried reviewing a book once and ended up deleting the review, it was so bad. But here I am reviewing a hand-held, non-electric can opener. Why? Because I find it so infuriating!!!
How I came to use this devil's tool
I work in a satellite office of sorts, and only 3 or 4 people are at this location on any given day. Shortly after I started working here, one of my co-workers bought a small microwave for the office, for all of us to use. I was very excited about this little purchase, because there is nothing I like better for lunch, especially in the winter, than a big can of vegetable soup. SO. The same co-worker who bought the microwave brought in a can opener, again for everyone to use. So I use it. And even though it drives me nuts, I keep using it.
What I use the can barely opener for
Well, soup. Almost always. In fact, I can't think of any other product I have tried to open with this stupid device. Mind you, I eat all kinds of soup: Progresso, Campbell's Select, Campbell's Condensed, Chunky... you name it, I heat it up and slurp it down. Each of these brands has a different style of label, shape of can, and configuration of lid. Keep that in mind.
Basic info about the marginally workable device
The can opener has black, plastic handles and a silver tone 'business end'. Check out this Positive Review of the can opener for incredibly detailed information. All I will tell you is it looks like your basic can opener. The arms swing apart and come together again, ostensibly to open your can. The handles are reasonably comfortable to hold, and the thing seems sturdy enough. The review linked above gives info on cleaning; I am 99% sure that our office opener has never been cleaned, so I can't comment on that. But it doesn't look especially dirty.
Attempted use of the blasted thing
Every single time I use this can opener, it fails to pierce the top of the can on the first try. I usually drift into the kitchen area only half-focused on what I am doing, still thinking about the work on my desk, and try to open a can. To no avail. I must shake myself out of my reverie and focus intently on the can, carefully placing the opener to fit just right, then squeezing the handles together, hoping that the sharp little wheel will poke through the lid. It usually takes several tries to get this to work.
Once I get the opener through the lid, it's time to turn the handle. This actually goes pretty well for a few solid turns, then, about 40% of the way through the can, disaster strikes. The wheel "skips" a spot. In other words, I keep turning the handle, but somehow the sharp wheel pops out of the lid and skips a spot before settling back in.
Now, you are probably aware that with most handheld can openers, there is a spot at the very beginning/end of the lid that does not get completely severed from the can. That's fine; you just pull the lid out and twist it off or let it stick up off the can. But if there is another spot that is not cut through, right across from the first spot, Houston we have a problem. I have tried going back over the offending spot with the opener, with no success. I usually end up poking the lid halfway into the soup and just pouring the soup into my bowl around the lid. Yuck.
The other major problem I have encountered with this can opener is related to the other wheel -- not the sharp one that (sometimes, with much cajoling) pierces the lid, but the gear-type one that runs along the outside of the can. This little sucker grinds up the top edge of the labels on my soup cans! Now, that's nit-picky I know, but here's why it bugs me. (1) It leaves little flakes of label paper in my soup that I have to pick out. (2) It leaves little flakes of label paper all over the kitchen area that I have to clean up. (3) It just gets on my nerves.
How I have tried to live with this evil machine
I have tried holding the thing at different angles. I have tried placing the can on different surfaces. I have tried turning the handle at different speeds. I have tried placing a Cajun voodoo curse on the can before trying to open it. Nothing works. I just can not get this can opener to do the job right.
What I use at home that actually works
At home, I have a Swing Away can opener. I have always had that type. My Mom has one, too. It's by far the only can opener worth buying. Period. Here's a link to the epinions page about the good can opener that I have at home: Best Can Opener Ever. But you won't find a review by me there. One can opener review is enough for anyone.
Recommended:
No
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Epinions.com ID:
sarahalm
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Location: Finally summer...
Reviews written: 28
Trusted by: 26 members
About Me:
Working too much to read, rate or review these days... hope to be back soon!
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