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Difference in Ages with Potty SuccessFeb 25 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Treat each child as an individual! Each is so different in personality and they have their own ways of doing things.
I have three totally different experiences with potty training and from this, I came to the realization, that each child learns at a different pace and that is not to be taken lightly. Forcing the issue can cause more damage while letting THEM guide you can make the transition from diapers to underwear/panties much easier on both the parents and the child. A parent is there for support and guidance. After saying this, there are some children that may need a little more of a push at a later age. I feel pushing a 18 month old can be detrimental, but giving a little more of a push to an almost 4 year old may be needed.....let me explain with my own experiences...... The Difficult Preschooler.... Boy, the experience I had with my first child was not "book like" at all. Being a first time mom, I did lots of reading about babies and toddlers to help guide me into making good choices. I introduced the potty to my daughter around 2 (give or take a few months). She did not care anything about it. I tried it all, putting her on the potty before bath time, giving incentives, sometimes even pleading and begging. Nothing at all would work. I would give it my all and work with her for a week, both ending up frustrated and in tears. I would then give up and wait a month to try it again. By the time she reached 3, (the average age that most children do have interest and/or are trained), she still did not care about it. At this point, I was very willing to try anything and everything people suggested or told me I should try. I was so tired of getting "those looks" when I was asked how old she was as they were looking at this 3 year old + child wearing pull ups. I finally got to the point where whatever was suggested, I would abruptly say ..."yeah, I already tried it and it does not work". Finally, about 3 1/2 my daughter no longer bucked me about sitting on the potty and trying. I was so thrilled! Peeing became something she could do, but when it came time to have a bowel movement, she would just freak out. So, again, I let her guide me and I would not push. There came a day when I registered her for preschool, they said she HAD to be potty trained, no pull ups or diapers allowed at all. I panicked! At this time, she was just a month away from being 4 and she was not regularly using the potty at all. I was explaining my dilemma to an elder and she suggested that I let my daughter clean herself off when dirty. Sounds cruel huh? I thought so, but I had tried it all, so the next time she had a bowel movement, I put her in the tub and had her wash herself off. Boy, she was in shock. I also found something that she wanted so bad in the store...a huge bar of chocolate, so with the combination of both, with in days, she was trained!!!! I do want to add that my child was VERY strong willed and till this day, at the age of 8, we still have many battles! Potty training should of been the sign of what was up the road for the future! The One Who Did It On His Own Now, this child, my second born twin, sort of had to wake me up about the potty training issue. He just sort of fell into it all on his own. I was not expecting it to happen at the young age of 2.3 years old at all, specially after the experience I had with my daughter. Again, I introduced the potty to my twin's at 18 months...letting them sit on it whenever they asked, letting them play with the little potty and so forth. I always let them have "naked time" after bath in the evening. One evening my son was standing next to me and I noticed that he dripped one drop and held himself, looking at me frantically, so we rushed to the potty and he went. So I then decided to start letting him go naked consistently, not leaving the house to see if this may work. It DID! With in a week, he was in big boy underwear with no pee pee accidents at all. Too easy, I thought! But, one thing that has happened is that after a month, he does not want to have a bowel movement in the potty any longer. He will wait for his nap/bed time diaper which is totally fine with me for the time being as I am in shock that he has this much control over himself and also, he is still young (2. 10 months now). This was an easy child for sure. The One Still Training My first born twin is still in training but shows lots of success. Again, the potty was introduced at 18 months, but he really showed no interest at all. I would ask if he wanted to sit, or place him on the potty before bath, but he would just play. No big deal at all. After his brother began to use the potty regularly, he showed more interest in it which was great. I found that with him, this is going to be a long and slow process and with some work, success shortly. When I would let them go naked after bath, he would end up peeing on the floor, so off and on I would either let him go naked or put a diaper on. Finally one day he grabbed himself and said he needed to go to the potty. We rushed in, I placed him on the potty and there he went! So, he finally had learned "that feeling". Currently, we are still in this stage. As long as he has nothing on his bottom, he freely goes to the potty, but once I put even just underwear on him, he will wet them. I figure if maybe we can stay home for a week with out the interruption of getting on a diaper, we may have better success. So you see, I have three totally different experiences with the potty training issue. One took forever and need a bit of pushing when she was closely turning 4, one who had to push ME to start, and the other is doing well with our little goals but still is not fully trained. My suggestion is always watch your child carefully for signs of readiness. Try not to listen to your best friend telling you that her son or daughter trained at 18 months while your child is sitting there in a diaper at 2 1/2. I know it's discouraging, but as most say who are in this position, they will not walk down the isle in diapers my friend. One other point to any mother of multiples reading my Epinion.....just because they are born on the same day, does not mean that they will do every thing together, and that means potty training as well. Right now there is a 7 months difference on the potty training success with my twins and they were just two minutes apart from one another. Treat them separately as you should do with every thing else.  |
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