Bob & Edith's Diner: Is it worth the bypass? Heck yeah!Feb 26 '01 Write an essay on this topic.
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The Bottom Line Greasy, tasty cheap food 24-7. Don't go often if you don't want a heart attack but when you do go.. Peanut butter swirl pie a la mode! Mmm Mmm!
Overview It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and after having finished clubbing all night in Adams Morgan and you are coming home hungry and hung-over. A great 24-hr grease pit located off Columbia Pike in Arlington is Bob and Edith’s (B&E) Diner. Serving breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert 24-7, B&E will promise to clog your arteries but will also not let you leave hungry. With economical prices and tasty food, B&E is the place to go at 3AM – but hey let’s be honest… where else ya gonna go at 3 AM? Dress Attire Guys – trucker gear required J Fems – jeans and the t-shirt you can find with the most holes in it Parking Because it is located in a suburb and not in DC, B&E does actually have a parking lot with somewhere around 10-12 spaces. If the lot is full, not to fear, Safeway across the street will probably be closed by the time you eat at B&E, so go park there. Ambience and Décor Are you kidding me? From the outside, B&E literally looks like a trailer park. I think it was built that way on purpose. It looks kinda out of place. Imagine yourself on the NJ Turnpike (GO NJ woohoo!!) and imagine a truck stop that you would see on the NJ Turnpike. Now transplant that truck stop and there you have B&E. Upon walking in the cramped space (the whole eating area is 40 x 20 if that), you are immediately greeted by the sights and sounds of high school kids laughing and smoking, spatulas slapping globs of butter on hash browns and sausage, beef patties and cheese and sizzling on the grill waiting to be flipped, the deep-fryer soaking French-fries with oil, and all kinds of pies and cakes staring from the glass case. The grill is located in plain view behind the counter, which is lined by 8-9 stools. The 2 line cooks (Bob and Edith themselves?) are bustling away with tickets in hand trying desperately to fill the orders. The tables are arranged diner-style. With 2 rows of booths, the smoking and non-smoking sections are per table… what a joke? To ask for non-smoking would mean that your table doesn’t come with an ashtray! The cushions are some kind of red leatherette and the tabletops are white. The lights from B&E are bright white and when you walk in – you are in another world. It doesn’t matter that its 3 AM and not a creature stirs outside. Inside, there’s business to be done and boy does it sound like they do business. Service There is no formal seating arrangement. After midnight, I am told, there is a wait anyway. It’s sort of like waiting in line at an amusement park. You stand there, no one bothers you, and when a table clears, you just go and sit down. The busgirl came after we sat at our table. She looked absolutely thrilled to be bussing our table and we actually found that she was our waitress as well. She handed us the vinyl lined neon yellow double-sided menus and waited for us to order. From the side of her eyes she glanced at the door and noticed the line to be getting longer. She wanted us out of there and she wasn’t being shy about it. To her credit, B&E serves up one quick meal. About 2 minutes after we placed our order, the food was on the table. They did manage to screw up my friend’s order, bring him pecan pie instead of coconut cream. We managed to flag her down and no worries. Situation rectified in 30 seconds. The silverware was clean but I was scared to scrutinize it too closely – but to be honest… we weren’t here for service. We didn’t expect it and we sure as heck didn’t get it either! The check came out with our food and we were expected to leave as soon as that last bite left our fork and went into our mouth… turnover, turnover!! I guess that’s how they bring in the dough. Cha ching! Food I’ll skip presentation because at B&E, you come to eat. You don’t care if it looks pretty or ugly or whatever. You put the food in your mouth and you chew because you are hungry. I ordered the peanut butter swirl pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. This was the richest sweetest nicest peanut pie I have ever tasted. As I hungrily gulped down pieces of pie with globs of ice cream dripping from my spoon, I just felt the blood in my arteries coagulating. The same for my friend who ordered the coconut cream pie. It was about 6” think and filled with cream. The slices were very generous as well. However, the jackpot had to go to the second friend who ordered bacon, eggs and hash browns. The plate came out, lined with butter and oil. The bacon looked crisp and greasy, the sunny-side up eggs were glistening from the butter they were cooked in, the hash browns were fried to a golden brown, and the white toast was soggy with butter. This aorta clogger looked absolutely delicious to a hungry man at 3 o’clock in the morning. Heck, it probably looked good at 12 noon as well – just don’t tell your doctor what you’re eating. He would have a heart attack just thinking about it. The food was delicious and that’s because it was bad for you. I might as well have been eating sticks of butter… actually no… B&E tasted better - a lot better than a stick of butter. Price 12.85 for 2 huge slices of pie a la mode and a breakfast platter of bacon, eggs and potatoes. The make their money, they assume their customers are in and out… and they assume correctly. I don’t think anyone could stand the smoke-filled, grease-laden air for longer than it takes to eat there. In, out… money in the register… we don’t care, we got full for $4 each – and at 3 AM, you can’t ask for much more.  |
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