I had been excited for a sequel to my favorite film, but as more and more oozed forth for information, I got less and less excited. The casting is awful, and the writing is five times worse. They tweak the characters to the point of them not being the characters you knew from the first film. It's something new all together and is a good-sized let down for you fans of the original film. If you're expecting a true sequel, this is not quite it.

To start off, some familiar things have changed for the people who enjoyed the first film:
They made Zed (Rip Torn) look dumb with a series of points where Jay (Smith) oversteps his authority, and an uber-weird fight scene with Serleena (Boyle). It was like some sort of bad joke on the Matrix/Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon movies. I know Zed can kick some butt, but I wouldn't expect it to leave an audience going "huh? What the heck was that!?" Through the use of cables and whatnot, Zed is in mid-air, delivering some powerful strikes against Serleena, to no avail. The scene comes off as corny and is the total opposite of who Zed, the tough head of the MIB, really is.

The characters of Kay and Jay switch roles of course, but Agent Jay is way too cocky to be cool like Kay was the first time around. Tommy Lee Jones pulls things together nicely, but it's hard to save Will Smith's acting this time around. As a postal worker, Kay (now Kevin Brown--- originally listed as Kevin Cunningham in the 97 film trading card profiles as tribute to Lowell Cunningham, creator of the MIB) can't kick his habit and keeps everyone in line at the office he runs in Turo, Mass. Of course... the employees are aliens but and Kevin doesn't know that and Jay gives him one heck of a wakeup call. Later we learn in what becomes a habit of one-line-tying up, that Kevin and Elizabeth Ann Rheston---his lost love, were divorced not long after they married. Kay wants to know why he stares at the stars--- and Jay gives him the option of joining him as they head back to MIB.

For the sequel, the lack of continuity tying into the first film hurts fans of the original and the cool Agent Elle. By now you'll notice she's gone. A lousy one line mention sends her back to the morgue. I guess if a woman's cleavage isn’t the center of attention, then she's out of the film. Lara Flynn Boyle's costume would easily help push the film closer to an R rating (note: the first MIB was going to be rated R for the bug scene in the end alone! What stopped them this time around with all the adult jokes?)

Jay is trigger-happy with the neuralyzer and is known for frying brains. Elle was one, and we learned earlier that Agent Tee (Patrick Warburton) was another. I'll elaborate on his wonderfully refreshing character later.

Now, if you watch a movie like MIB, theres very little focus on people in the background. Unimportant people. They play a smooth backdrop. Unfortunately, in MIIB, they put in a bunch of people and instead of them being clever background placement cameos, they're overly obvious and forced. The overload of lame cameos including EVERYONE'S KIDS and more stand out like sore thumbs. Literally! They aren't cleverly hidden and they disrupt the flow of the film (as if it had any flow). Sonnenfeld's kid, Jones' kid, Smith's kids... and then there are more and they take up half the space in this film. This film suffered from something similar in Lucas' Attack of the Clones. Lucas put his kids in the film, and they aren't hidden very well. The cameos just don't seamlessly fit. Cameos are meant to be fun secret inside jokes. It's as if the whole scene is given to them (though Sonnenfeld's daughter gets some cute lines in the post office-- She's the Rugrats stamps fan).

On to plot, some of which I have already divulged. If you were to compare it to the first film, MIIB's plot is weak, lame, and a Xerox of the first film in all the wrong ways. This time around... they figure they're after the bracelet around Laura's wrist (last time around it was the Galaxy on Orion's 'belt). A reversal of plot works only in a few spaces (the role switch of Jones and Smith with Jones as the rookie and Jay as the veteran MIB agent), but otherwise it just feels as if Sonnenfeld and the writers are lazy. Gordon, one of the writers for Galaxy Quest penned a great story for that film. Why not this one? It should have been fresher.

The worm aliens play too much of a role where in the first film, they were lucky to even get in there. They almost wound up on the floor of the FX department. Their jokes are raunchy and again... makes many wonder how this film got a PG 13 rating. They help save planet Earth and their part almost mimics their 'over-placement' cartoon fans noticed in the 4th season of MIB the animated series. This film makes a lot of 'stars' out of some characters that should just be costars.

There’s such a thing as too much FX, and all those aliens chokes you, unlike the first film which dazzled. The makeup is okay--- pretty good actually, and the CG addition's could tie in nicely, but they become too much of a focus. The worms are mostly CG whenever they aren't puppets in their bachelor pad home. Jarra... half dude-- half flying robot, feels like a mindless addition, and doesn't really help anything along. Just gives Jay a 5 minute fight scene in the end. They do a lot of fancy blue screen work in this movie... Johnny Knoxville's character, Boyle's character and Jarra are especially laden with effects. They do some crazy stuff with the Jay/Jarra fight in the end. Jarra's made multiples of himself (cut and paste is a great tool for the modern special effect artist!) and Jay deals with these aliens accordingly and seemingly easily. It's probably hard to act when you know only half of you makes it in the movie... and on top of that, you're flying around on a small UFO.

CG special effects have come a long way since they first dawned (and started making a large appearance with films like Jurassic park) but movie makers have recently used flashy Computer Imaging to fill up too much of a film. 1997's Men In Black featured dozens more effects than Jurassic park had, but they were used sparingly, and for the main villain--- Edgar Bug, only the final scenes with the big bug featured a completely CG animated villain. In MIIB--- Every other scene with Serleena is dripping with CG and it becomes boring. Her 'vines' are her weapon of choice and it leaves nothing to the imagination as she uses them in plain sight in every scene (the first film played it cool and left you wondering with scenes like David Cross in the morgue office). The sequel sticks it all in your face and shows you everything, losing any finesse it could have had.

I am glad to say a lot of makeup work still gets done around Hollywood with masters like Rick Baker, but CG effects push physical effects by the wayside. Lavish sets are passed up for some entirely-CG created areas of HQ including the blue water travel tubes (when the agents get 'flushed'). Also, more aliens around headquarters are done as CG animation. The worm aliens are used even less as puppets and more as animated characters.

For you makeup fans, look for one decent cameo in HQ as Serleena checks in. Rick Baker plays an agent who deals in human disguises and works at the main desk (ponytail and all).

Jeebs is back--- Tony Shalhoub has some more... interesting makeup this time around, and they go through the same deal with the head shot off. (Jeebs looks different because every time his head gets shot off, it grows back slightly different, and after 5 years of being shot at by MIB-- he's managed to look QUITE different). Jeebs is still a sleazy guy but now he's discovered how he can rip people and aliens off online... with EBAY! This writing was only fitting to the character. It worked well and I was not surprised that Jeebs would be the kinda guy to do damage on the famed online auction page.

The rest of this short film jumps around a lot between a taken-over HQ, the agents, Laura, and multiple confrontations between Serleena and the agents. I won't give it all away here.

My recommendation for the movie... tone Jay down, dump the ditzy chicks (Serleena and Laura) and you might be headed in the right direction. Romance does not a MIB movie make. Instead of a light drizzle of lost love in the first film, Agent Jay breaks rule after rule through a series of poor lines and choices not to neuralyze Laura, the really young looking girl whom he has a crush on. The whole plot revolves around him breaking every single rule in the MIB handbook--- which is a very respectable handbook. Come on. Simple rules should be EASY to follow, right?? Neuralyze the chick and you'd be saved a LOT of trouble. Does Zed even do anything about all these broken rules? no. Very un-Zed like. Zed's tough! He keeps MIB agents in line, and this portrayal of Zed does not do the original comic book or first film justice.

The only savior of this film was Frank the pug, who is as adorable and swift as ever. His adorable appearance in the film makes you smile when you're busy going 'is it over yet?'. The special effects are brilliant for his talking, and his scene where he sings 'I will Survive' is awesome. On the CD album of the movie, you get a full version of the song, complete with Frank saying "This is a shout out to New York--- WE WILL SURVIVE!!" and it was the highlight of the CD (and should have been the closing credit song).

The 'Who Let the dogs out?' joke later is a killjoy though... and half the film's jokes are extremely dated. I thought the point of MIB was to be hip, modern and edgy.

Here's a few mentions of some things I'd like to see more of:

Actors we should see more of are Johnny Knoxville and Patrick Warburton. As a 2-headed alien... Knoxville was an amazingly good character. He was funny... but I was expecting more stunts (with him doing those stunts himself) hehe. Warburton was simply perfect as the overbearing Agent Tee who is out to impress Jay. Any fans of MIB the animated Series can easily compare Agent Tee to Agent U, down to the haircut and personality. He was funny... and only got funnier when he was neuralyzed and told to go make a family. Sad to see him go... Tee would have been a gem of a character in this stale lineup. He was played like characters of MIB 1 were played. Just right, not fake, and not overdone.

Villains make a world go 'round--- and this time around, it's a bit of a let down.

As a villain, Lara Flynn Boyle failed. Serleena was not a real threat to Earth. in MIB 1, Vincent D'onofrio was excellent. He presented a real threat to the planet. Serleena had too easy a time taking HQ over and the plot was unbelievable in a sense of it just being so poor, an old B movie could be more believable than this one was.

Ahhh... yes... the selling factor of the MIB. If you remember the first film in 1997... you were told to buy Ray Ban Sunglasses! Very cool-- and I was fine with that. This time around, they overdid the sell power of the MIB.

In the film, there were shameless plugs EVERYWHERE. It would be nice if they'd lose the commercial product placement. It's sick to see HQ filled with a BK, Sprint store... and the MIB sport yuppie cars like the Mercedes. Give this gal an old fashioned MIB LTD ANYDAY.

If anything, i'd like to see them promote tourism to NYC--- but with sets and all... A lot of the background just did not work. The set of HQ was littered with commercials as noted, and then outside of HQ was not even New York. After the 9/11 incident, the plot of the film drastically changed and switched from being a WTC launch pad for Laura's spaceship (yes... she was an alien, and no, she was not Kay's daughter. She's actually bio-engineered) to the Chrysler building. I can understand fear for filming in NYC after 9/11 but with the choice for using sets in some spots, you really lose the authenticity of the film. It doesn't blend seamlessly. Some shots are real, others are not.

Overall, I am sorry I spent what I did seeing this one on the big screen. I was fortunate though... the short film 'Chubb Chubbs' did not get tagged with OUR showing of MIIB. Chubb Chubbs is a short animated CG film trying to capitalize on the trend started by Pixar's short films. On an even sadder note... Chubb Chubbs beat Pixar's 'Mike's new Car' for an Oscar.

Horrifying isn't it? You know this won't be like Ghostbusters... with only 2 movies. To know how Barry Sonnenfeld works... is to know that you will be hearing about MIIIB in 6 years. Sonnenfeld already has started, Smith is going to write... and Michael Jackson is trying to get a bigger role (I died laughing at the audience horror to see Jackson's pasty face on the main viewer screen at HQ. I love Zed for pretending he was losing the connection and then walking away. Bravo!)

If I could sit down with the movie gods and guide them on a better path to MIB goodness... I’d suggest dumping Sonnenfeld... and getting Spielberg and Tim Burton to put the cool back in MIB. The franchise desperately needs to be rid of Sonnenfeld. Spielberg was an executive producer for MIB... but I’d like to see him possibly take the reigns. He can work some magic with the seemingly endless world of the MIB.


Recommended: No