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Ten Scary Movies for SissiesMar 05 '01 Write an essay on this topic.The Bottom Line A "kinder, gentler" list of addictive horror movies. (A little kinder, gentler, anyway.) These aren’t the best or the scariest. They didn’t win many awards. Film critics probably disliked most of them. But if they are on television on a rainy afternoon I will always want to watch them; I’ve seen all of them at least half dozen times. (Doesn’t say much about me; does it?) They are nothing like the slasher horror films that are made today, and that’s why I love them. They are, in no particular order: 1) The Bad Seed - 1956 - Something about this movie seems like Peyton Place possessed by the devil, but they don’t show it on television nearly enough. Patty McCormack plays a sweet looking little blonde girl that is evil incarnate in the same over the top way soap opera actresses are evil. I guess watching her knock off people is, in a way, a guilty pleasure, and then watching her get hers in the end is fun, too. 2) Plan 9 From Outer Space 1959 - This Ed Wood movie is usually referred to as the worst ever made, and so it should be. What’s that expression; “so bad it’s good”? Bela Lugosi died (in real life) in the middle of filming, and they use a cloaked figure to finish. The space ships look like paper plates and tin foil. The camera changes angles in a daytime scene and suddenly it’s nighttime. This ridiculous movie with its bad acting by zombie slaves is a must see. 3) The Sentinel – 1977 - Christina Raines plays a young model with a bleak destiny; she has been chosen to guard the gates of Hell. (She was wondering why she kept trying to kill herself.) The scene with the condemned souls is so wonderfully creepy that the movie is worth seeing, if only for that. (With Chris Sarandon, John Carradine, and Burgess Meredith.) 4) The Brain That Wouldn’t Die - 1963 – Are any of you from Pittsburgh and remember Chilly Billy Cardelli , the guy who had the Friday night TV show with old monster and horror movies? Well this movie was a big hit on it. It’s your standard boy and girl in car crash, girl is decapitated, boy takes her head and keeps it alive on a tray in a laboratory movie. That’s all. 5) The Shining - 1980 - I’m going to be bold and say this version, directed by Stanley Kubrick and starring Jack Nicholson is much better and scarier than the Stephen King book it is based on. It is the story of Jack’s character’s cabin fever and madness combined with some pretty real ghosts that make friends with him. Shelly Duvall is the perfect oddball to play his wife, and Danny Lloyd plays his little boy who possesses “the shining” and gets forewarning advice from a scary little boy who “lives in his mouth”. If I think about the little girls too long (Play with us, Danny) I won’t be able to sleep with the lights off tonight. Apparently while making the movie, Kubrick and King were at complete odds, and late one night King called Kubrick on the phone and asked him, “Do you believe in God?” When Kubrick said that he did, King shouted, “I thought so!", and hung up. 6) The Ghost and Mr. Chicken - 1966 - Here’s a movie for the “I’m embarrassed about this one” file. It’s a scoobydooesque comedy with Don Knotts (The Andy Griffith Show) about a wimpy newspaper typesetter that’s told he can become a reporter if he spends the night in the town’s haunted house and writes a story about it. (Isn’t that the way all reporters get their jobs?) It’s funny, and the first time I ever saw it at the drive-in with my parents and sisters, it seemed pretty scary! OK, I admit it. I still think it’s scary. 7) The Hills Have Eyes - 1977 – This one goes a little outside my comfort level in horror films, but it’s still horrifying in a much different way from today’s slasher films. It isn’t bloody, but it is raw. Directed by Wes Craven, it has the look of a home movie and that gives it a very real feeling. As a family on vacation crosses the desert in their RV, they are attacked by a horrifying cannibal family that, unlike the cartoonish villains in many of today’s horror films, aren’t the least bit funny. They are mercilessly brutal and many scenes are hard to watch. Tag line for this movie: The lucky ones died first… 8) Eraserhead - 1977 - I want to know what David Lynch was thinking (or on) when he created this piece of psychological torture. Telling you I’ve watched it a dozen times is like saying I’ve hit myself in the head with a hammer a dozen times, but it’s a compulsion. There is a scene in which a woman has trouble pulling a suitcase out from under a bed that makes me want to jump out of my skin (I don’t know why), and anyone who has seen this movie gets a queasy feeling remembering the baby (I wouldn’t explain if I could). This movie, starring Jack Nance, is hard to find these days, but if you ever see it, don’t say I didn’t warn you. 9) Burnt Offerings - 1976 - This movie has the feel of a made for TV movie, probably because it was directed by Dan Curtis from Dark Shadows. But that’s not such a bad thing if you loved Dark Shadows. Karen Black (She’s just plain spooky, anyway. I think it’s her eyes.), plays a woman that with her family rents an evil house for the summer and the supernatural takes them over. The tag line was, The Perfect Rental for Your Last Vacation. (Also starring Oliver Reed, Bette Davis, and Burgess Meredith). 10) The Blob – 1958 - Steve McQueen stars along with Aneta Corseaut (Helen Crump from The Andy Griffith Show) and plays a teenager who saves the world from a slimy, ravenous, jello-like monster from outer space. This isn’t so much terrifying (it has its moments), as it is grotesquely mesmerizing. (And it’s a classic.) You can take this list and use it as a “must see” or “remember never to see” aid. I don’t care. I had fun making it up.  |
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by Stephen_Murray
