The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Jun 12 '00    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet I admit, I joined a fraternity initially because I was convinced that the social scene at my school sucked outside of Greek Life (which I still contend to, but that is another matter altogether—see my review on CMU). But what I found was a whole world of opportunities to grow myself as a person and mature into an adult that can face the real world. Now my opinion is really just about fraternities, and even then I can only speak for my own experience, but I do know that at least at my school most of the guys in other fraternities share these sentiments. The Ugly: Hazing. Okay, it happens. My house has no hazing rites but rather uses a two-semester pledge program that emphasizes education of the house and its current members. After all, how could you call someone your brother if you’ve only known them for a very short period of time. However, I do know of houses though that go through rather rigorous hazing rituals during their pledge program, and I have to say that while it is easy to disparage these situations as cruel and unusual, you have to remember that the people who participate in these acts elect to join in the first place. So maybe getting paddled by your big brother, or eating raw goldfish, or getting dropped off a hundred miles from campus in just your underwear, just isn’t your MO. That doesn’t mean that someone else who decides to endure such a practice is being unjustly treated. With hazing there’s a few things to remember: At any given time in any pledge period in any house, you’re welcome to leave. And so what if there’s a lot of people who join fraternities so that they can feel like they are popular, and so what if they refuse to leave even if they hate the hazing, as some people claim? That’s their dumbass fault! Don’t try to tell me that hazing is “forced” just because a lot of young people do not have the self-esteem to subsist without a group to latch onto. It’s a choice. Just like S&M. S&M’s not my bag but if it’s yours, more power to you (or less if you like the whole slave thing). Hazing happens in the real world more than most people realize. Look at the investment banking industry, for instance. When you get hired into an entry level (analyst) position at a Wall Street bank, you’re going to be treated like garbage for the most part. Your first two years are usually going to be filled with grueling, thankless tasks that no person could ever enjoy doing. So then why do people every stay, you ask? Because that’s how the totem pole works. You start at the bottom, and get urinated on by the people above you for a little while until it’s your turn to move up. And banking isn’t the only industry where that happens. Pecking order is a very real concept in many fields, and getting a little dose of it in college only prepares you for the real world that much more. And if you don’t want to deal with in college, and if you completely disagree, then don’t join. That’s your choice. Ultimately, hazing brings people together too. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard people say with a big smile, “I remember when I was a pledge and <really crazy story here>.” And those are some of the things that you will look back on 30 years later and say, “I can’t believe I did that, but I’m glad I did.” The Bad: Money. Again this differs from house to house but in a lot of houses you will get burned in terms of cash. Dues to Nationals are always ominously high, but then again so is tuition, right? In terms of the money that you pay directly to your house budget, it is always (in every case I've heard) determined by consensus of the entire house how that money will be spent. If you find that a house prioritizes its funds such that 10 times as much money is spent on beer as philanthropy, and you don't like it, then don't join that house. No matter where you go, though, you will find that except for money paid to the National organization, all of the money you put in is for the entire house to decide upon, including you. This concept of just throwing away thousands of dollars into the abyss is a bit of a misinterpretation. Elitism. Yes, we are elite, most of the time. But you have to remember it takes two to tango. For instance at my school, I know a lot of Greeks who do not have any friends outside their house, but that is fueled by the fact that non-Greeks often have preconceptions of Greeks and do not befriend them for those reasons. So the term GDI (Goddamned Independents), which Greeks often use to label non-Greeks is fueled largely by the fact that Greeks are often despised by their counterparts in the first place. It’s really a question of the chicken and the egg, and I don’t think it’s fair to place the blame on either party. There’s just as much snobbery directed at Greeks as there is originating from them from what I’ve seen. The Good: Family. One thing that is really nice about fraternities is that unlike most other college outlets, it provides you the closest thing to a family that you could get in a school setting. Here’s a group of people that you can live with for 4 years, who all share the same value system, ideals, and to an extent, experiences. For most people, you usually can’t make the same kinds of friends in 4 years at college that you did over the 12 years before them because of the limited time, but when you join a house, you get something close to that opportunity. I have some brothers who have a lot of friends outside the house, as I do, but then there are some brothers who have no friends outside the house. At first I thought those people were depriving themselves of a valuable asset of college (the diversity), but they made me realize that with a house full of 60 people, all with completely different backgrounds and histories, there’s more than enough people to hang out with and learn about for 4 years that you don’t even need anyone else. And I guess I can understand that, even though it’s not the path I chose. Social. The parties are fun. Depending on where you go there will be anything from no drinking (yes, there are a few dry houses out there) to weekly beer and liquor budgets exceeding a thousand dollars. The trick is to find the one for you. And if you don't want to drink much, then clearly the house whose pledges willingly drink until they pass out is not for you. But don't knock it just because it's not for you. Leadership skills. I had no idea what I was in for in terms of responsibility but what I found was that most mid-to-large size fraternities are nearly identical to small businesses. For instance, my house has about a hundred thousand dollar budget that needs to be managed from year to year so that rent can be paid to the school, the chef is paid, dues are paid to Nationals, and then in-house social events could be funded. We have to vote, just like corporations, on any usage of the house funds, and write up proposals whenever we want to fund an event. Personally, I had a great experience as Scholarship Chair (which targets keeping house member's grades up to par) and as a co-chair for Greek Sing, a musical production that all the Greeks on campus put on to annually raise in excess of $15,000 for the Make-a-Wish Foundation. Academics. Now this is a bit of a gray area because it really depends on yourself. There are people in my house who came to school, joined the house, pledged for two semesters, then didn't return because their grades twice fell below the 1.75 required to remain a student. Meanwhile, the latest president of the house has a 4.0 average, and is interning in a hot start-up in Silicon Valley this summer before he enters senior year. And the people in the house run the gamet in between those extremes. Personally, I found it great to live in a house that had at least a few people in my major and in my classes to study with and especially important was the mentoring I received from seniors in my major in the house. Their knowledge was invaluable to my growth and my success. ====================================================================== Basically, I think going Greek was one of the best things I did for myself since I've joined my college. So far, it has prepared me very well for the work world, provided me unlimited contacts and mentors to guide me for my future, given me tons of memories from my college years with friends that I never imagined I could get to know so well. And while there may have been other ways of achieving the same happiness, I chose this one, and it worked.

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