"Mom... I wanna come home!!"
Oct 14 '00
Last year was the first time I had ever been away from home. This is when I started University. Up until that point, I had lived in the same house all of my life. I went from living in a rural community to a capital city. I had no friends who lived in the dorm with me. And yet, I was not unhappy. I didn't even get homesick. I think that this was, in part, due to how my parents prepared me for living on my own the first time.
Sometimes, there is nothing a parent can do to prevent their kid from getting homesick when they go off to University. Sometimes, it just happens. It is quite a shock to leave home and suddenly be out on your own. It was certainly a shock to me. But I was able to deal with it well. Parents can take some steps to ensure that they have properly prepared their kids for such a change. There are only so many things that can be done. The rest is up to the kid.
While the kid is at home, make them start doing things on their own. That's what my parents did to me and it helped me out so much. Stop doing everything for them was they get to be in highschool. I'm not saying don't help them out when they need you, but make them do the things for themselves that you would have normally done for them like doing their laundry, or making a hair appointment. If your child is not used to doing these things on their own, they will have a difficult time trying to learn how to do these things once they move out of the house. It will certainly make things much harder for them.
Encourage your teen to get a summer or after-school job. I had a summer job before I went to University. This helped me to learn the importance of a dollar, how to manage my money, and I suddenly had a huge responsibilty on my shoulders. Many high school kids don't have many big responsibilities. Once they get to College, the responsibilities become overwhelming. If your teen has already had to deal with this, then it won't be so much of a shock to them. This is an excellent way to prepare them for life on their own. As a student, if you are having a difficult time with your 'new' life, you start to miss your 'old' life, and therefore become unhappy.
Talk to them! Before your teen goes to school, sit down with him or her and have a nice long talk. As disturbing as it may seem, some teens go off to University because they feel as if they are expected to, not because they want to. How can any child be expected to be happy in an environment that they don't really want to be in? Talk to your kid about other insecurities that they may have about going away to school. Really try to encourage them to open up to you, perhaps by relating a story about yourself and problems you had when you went away from home.
And finally, be strong. Lots of kids will call home, crying, saying "Mom! Let me come home!". If you have already talked to him or her, and know that they really want to be attending school, do not let them come home. Be strong. Sometimes homesickness can't be helped, and the teen will want to come home. Just encourage them to 'stick it out' for a few more weeks. If nothing serious is going on to make the child homesick, then it will pass in a few weeks. My aunt, now 25, called home to her mother when she first went to University. My grandmother told her to stick it out until Christmas. That is what my aunt did. And she has said time and time again that she is grateful for her mother, that she was so strong and made her stay there. Kids don't have an structure while away at University, so telling them that they have to stay there once they've gone provides them with a little backbone. Encourage them to do well in school.
I hope this may be of help to any parents who have teens who will be going off to University next September. I personally know that all of these things work well in ensuring that you're child won't get homesick when they first go off to school. Homesickness is the number one reason for unhappiness among college kids. Just picture yourself being in their situation... wouldn't you appreciate being prepared for the biggest change of your life?
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melanierose
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Member: melanie
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