The Abusive Home Sep 08 '00    Write an essay on this topic. Tweet This editorial may not quite fit into the College category, but there are things I feel need to be said about growing up with alcohol abuse in the home. I do know that children who grow up in an alcoholic environment are twice as likely to become alcoholics than those that aren't. However, it can still be overcome. I come from a long line of alcoholics on one side of the family - my great grandparents, grandparents and my mother were all alcoholics. And let me say this first and formost - growing up in an alcoholic family is never easy, nor are the things that happen as a child ever forgotten. This is a difficult topic for me to write about because I am not real good with opening up about things in the past, however, there may be many children, teens and adults that feel like they are alone, but they aren't. My mother now celebrates 13 years sobriety from alcohol and 7 years sobriety from drug use. I went through Alateen counseling shortly after she got sober and I feel without it I would be a different person than I am today. I don't want to get into all the nitty-gritty details of my life growing up in an alcoholic household with a single mother. It wasn't easy. Yes, I was beaten in drunken fits of rage for things that weren't even my fault. Yes, I was put down more times than I would like to remember. Yes, I was staying home alone taking care of myself when I was 7 years old, or going to bars with my mother and staying out until someimes 3 a.m. on a school night. Yes, I was lonely. Yes, I grew up feeling rejected at times... However, I have learned that children growing up in alcoholic families have two choices: 1) They can grow to be mirror images of their parents, or 2) They can learn from the mistakes of their parents and use their life experiences to become a better, stronger individual. I chose the latter of the two. I grew up fast and realized by about 9 years old that what my mother was doing was wrong, that she was sick and that I wanted to be nothing like her. And I stuck to that.... never used drugs (other than the occasional Vivarin), drank only in very moderate amounts, graduated from high school and college and landed into a career right away. I could see myself slipping down the same road of alcohol abuse that my mother did, BUT I keep myself in check at all times. I make sure one drink doesn’t lead to another and another. CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS - Read Carefully here....... Realize one thing. ALCOHOLISM IS A DISEASE. People do not choose to be alcoholics. Do not resent your parent (s) for being an alcoholic. They have no control of the disease. You cannot force them to quit drinking, for if you do, they will only return to the bottle in a matter of time. An alcoholic will only quit drinking when they have hit their “rock bottom” an life cannot get any worse. For some this time never comes, others are luckier. Some end up in jail, others end up dead. Its a sad scenario, but a drunk will only stop when they are good and ready. In the meantime, you need to be strong. Go to Alateen meetings to help yourself. Enroll in counseling if you need to just to keep your own head straight. Let your parent know that their drinking hurts you, but don’t give them ultimatums. Ultimatums only tend to drive a person further into what you want them to get away from. Realize that when a parent is drunk and you are hit or ill words are spoken to you that it is not your parent speaking, but the alcohol. When a person is drinking, they have no control over themselves and what they say or do. They act impulsively - without a thought of the consequences to follow. The best thing you can do is make the best of a bad situation. Be strong. Be independent. Get help. Talk to friends and family. And keep your head high and get beyond what you are living in now. All of my experiences as a child have made me the person I am today, and as I look back I would not change a thing, because without those experiences I don’t think I would have made the choices I have in life. Hopefully the day will come where you can forgive your parent for what they have done. Hopefully the day will come where that parent will own up to and apologize for all the things that were done - even the things that they don’t remember. Until then reach for your highest goals and find it in your heart to forgive the person, not the disease.

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