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Another American family corruptedSep 23 '00 Write an essay on this topic.This is a tale of two families, two 5 year olds, and two educational paths that are rapidly converging. Yes, I've "corrupted" yet another family -- convinced them that for some children, homeschooling is the best option. Matthew and his buddy (I'll call him Mark) are both 5 years old. They were both born in the summer of 1995, 13 days apart. Both are above average height - although Mark towers over Matthew. He is over 4 feet tall. Both boys are rather immature 5 year olds, but given their height, people tend to be surprised at that. Until August, neither could hold a pencil properly. It isn't that we haven't tried to teach them, they weren't developmentally ready. Both have great gross-motor skills, but their fine motor skills are lagging. Both are very active, generally happy kids. Both have difficulty sitting still. Both seem to be kinesthetic learners - I suspect that either would be a challenge for any kindergarten teacher. Both in one classroom - I don't think so! Last spring, Mark's mom and I both looked at the kindergarten situation. I visited schools, considered my son's readiness, and decided that he would spend another year at home -- perhaps more. He certainly wasn't ready for what I saw in those kindergarten classes. Mark's mom made a different choice. She knew that her son wasn't really ready either, but felt that 2 years in kindergarten might be his best option. For some children, it would be the right choice. Mark was excited about kindergarten too - until he found out that Matthew wouldn't be getting on the bus with him. The last two weeks have been rough. These boys have been virtually inseparable for the last 2.5 years. They spend hours together almost every day. Neither could imagine what they would do without the other once school started. Neither could their mothers, but we soon found out. My son adapted quickly to doing his "schoolwork" in the hours his buddy was at school. He insisted on learning about time so he would know when the school bus was coming. He hasn't quite got it yet, but he's making good progress. He is also learning some early reading skills. He has FINALLY learned how to hold a pencil and is making progress learning to write his letters. Counting is coming along nicely too - some days we make it to 14 or 15 before he gets lost. Science? He's way ahead of the curve there. This has taken more than 2 weeks to accomplish. I found out in July that I would be having surgery in August - and chemo/radiation follow-up through most of this school year. I wasn't certain how I would feel, so we started Matthew's lessons in July. My treatment is going far better than I anticipated, so Matthew is making great progress. He may be ready for first grade next year, but we have the option to extend his kindergarten time if he needs that. I wish things were going so well with Matthew's friend, Mark. Nearly every day, he has come home from school angry and frustrated. His parents have been to the school 4 times in 2 weeks. He's just not catching on to the routine. His teacher thinks he doesn't speak. I know better. She thinks he doesn't play well with other children. I've seen him with many other children. He takes time to warm up to people, then he plays well unless he's exceptionally tired or hungry. She thinks he doesn't know his colors. She assigns things based on a color scheme that includes purple, red, pink, and magenta. She does use brown, blue, green, orange, and yellow as well. I think it might be better to substitute black and white for pink and magenta. What do I know, I'm just a mom? Other frustrations at school? This is a class with 20+ kids, one teacher, no aide. That's not a good ratio for a child on the borderline. It's probably not a good ratio for kids at the top of the curve. If a child in this class cannot open his snack or thermos, he goes without. If he cannot tie his shoes or zip his coat, that doesn't get done either. Many parents have offered to help in the classroom, but the teacher wants no help for the first month. I am sure she has her reasons, but I simply do not understand them. I freely admit that I'm only hearing one side of this, though. Last Thursday, Mark's mom showed me the ream of papers she'd already received from his teacher. The teacher does not seem to believe that he is immature. She wants him evaluated for possible placement in special education. There is talk of having him evaluated by physicians. To his mom - and to me - that means they're leaning toward medication. I don't believe in medicating children for immaturity -- even if they are 4 feet tall at age 5. Neither does his mom. She asked me what I thought she should do. I laughed. She already knows my bias on that subject. She had informed the teacher that she thought part of Mark's problem was jealousy because his best friend doesn't attend school. This was met with the reaction I've come to find far too typical. Such a terrible thing to do to a child! Mark's mom had certainly made the correct decision to enroll him in school, and he certainly must stay there. He'd be left to languish in the corner (basically) for the 60 days or so it would take to arrange the evaluation. Who knows how much longer he'd be there before they could transfer him to a "more appropriate" setting! That was their offer. She liked mine better. I'm helping her select homeschooling materials and the boys will spend their usual hours together. We'll take them on educational field trips and generally have a good time. We will also look at the opportunities available through the many local homeschool support groups. If Mark doesn't progress far faster at home than he did in school, I know people who can advise her on other educational techniques. I've known the little guy for most of his life. I don't think it will come to that. I believe that his mom can get him back on the right track pretty quickly - with a little help from a friend. That may sound cocky, but I've already dealt with one child with ADHD and another with dyslexia. Both are in college now. He may not be ready for first grade next September if he is homeschooled, but his kindergarten teacher is certain he won't be if left in school. It looks like a no-brainer to me.  |
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