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Faith in the Future

Jan 05 '01 Write an essay on this topic.

Through the last three and a half years of college, I have dealt with exams, friends in trouble with school, bad relationships between the people I cared about, and the stress of money issues that college presents. This myriad of issues has definitely taken its toll on my mental and emotional well-being.

How it started
The worst depression that I had came at a time in which I was dealing with smaller problems, such as financing my college education, jealousy over the happy relationships that all of my roommates were in, and minor stress of schoolwork. I never had a severe circumstance with any of these things-usually it was just a one or two day sweat until things seemed to settle themselves again.
My more intense problems came when I felt as though I had no one to turn to with these minor issues. Despite the large group of friends I was in, it seemed as though everyone had paired up with another in the group, or with their boyfriend, and used that person as the "closest one". The lack of someone who would listen to the stupidest of complaints, and put up with my immature whining and complaining is what made me draw more into myself at school. I enjoyed the social moments that I spent with my friends, but whenever I needed an individual I felt lost. It got to the point where I became quieter when in a social environment, simply looking around at my friends' happy, laughing faces and feeling more alone than ever. I longed to go back home where I could be with my best friend from high school, whom I stayed extremely close with despite the distance.

Deep down
Whenever I was upset, I felt the need to pull myself down more. I would create a situation that would make me more aware of the lonely feelings that I had. Keys to this were numerous tapes of sappy love music, watching cheesy movies about love and friendship, countless episodes of "A Wedding Story" on TLC, and creating hopeful fantasy situations of my life that could never happen.
I spent more time finding ways to keep myself pulled down than thinking of ways to climb out. My fiction was more important than my homework, and the lyrics of songs were sheer poetry to my state of mind.

The lifesaver that kept me afloat
No matter how many times I would get into this state, I always managed, with time, to yank myself out because of my faith. I have been deathly ill, beyond broke, and in more emotional pain than I have ever thought possible, but every day I tell myself two things:
The first is that Everything happens for a reason-the bad things have led me to realizations about myself and my life, and have also brought me closer to some of my family and friends. I also remind myself that If I don't experience the bad, I will never fully realize the wonder of the good when it comes along.

These thoughts were the key to keeping from from slipping down to the bottom. No matter how alone I felt from my friends, I would strive to enjoy the moments that were good with them, perhaps bringing someone close enough to me to fix the problem. Despite the jealously and pain I felt at being basically single for three years, I keep meeting men every day and give everyone a chance to show me themselves so I can eventually find someone for me.
Money is more difficult issue for me to faith my way through, and at this moment I am out of work because of a broken leg and this makes it even more difficult. Now is the time more than any, broke and bedridden during the holidays and lonely because everyone else has a life to lead, that I feel myself slipping, but I manage to keep my head above water because of faith.

Faith is NOT religion
The biggest problem that someone would have with faith is that people usually associate it with some form of religion. I personally have a religious preference, but I can keep it separate with describing it in this epinion. I feel that you can base faith on religion, or just come to terms with the fact that most people on this earth end of finding happiness, and the way they do that is to bring it to themselves. Anything that you think you can do, you will be able to accomplish, as long as you keep your head in reality.
Have faith in yourself to have this ability, and you will be able to remind yourself, no matter how far down you feel, that you can change the situation. Stop relying on others to be there and help you. Family and friends are vital to emotional well-being, but all of the family and friends in the world won't help unless you want to help yourself. There is something in everyone that wants to succeed and be happy, so put that stimulus to work and you will do just that.

Ways to do it
There a millions of ways in college to help pull yourself out. Join a club, try a new hangout, or take up a new hobby. These can introduce you to new people and new ways to feel good about yourself. Keep an open mind to explore new ways of exploring and expressing yourself. You may find the happier you in something that you didn't realize made you happy. These can be the good things that you can remind yourself about when you are down. This works for everyone, not just college students. There is always something new to try.

You can make the future work in you favor. Maybe not by tomorrow, but it will work. I have to tell myself that everyday-I don't even want to imagine where I would be if I don't. Just keep getting through each day and know that another days is coming, and it just may be your day.

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