Bacardi 151 is strong. Not as strong as Everclear, which is like the Incredible Hulk of boozes, but at least as strong as a stony, orange Ben Grimm (aka The Thing). If you're out to just get hammered like a nail, and don't care how what you're drinking tastes, that's a good thing. If you apply a little imagination, however, it's an even better thing.
I wouldn't drink a 151 and Coke if you paid me. Well, actually, I might, put it would depend on how much money you offered (and how much I had already drank). It's too strong for a guy like me, who believes in moderating his drinking enough to be able to hold a conversation, or a pretty woman. I like to keep my dry mouth moist, and am constantly heaving a glass towards it, making 151 the wrong thing to be putting into it. 151 is, believe it or not, the only drink that I INSIST be served with food, or, more accurately, served IN food.
Get yourself the average size, 750ml bottle of 151. Now, quit drooling and leave the liquor store. Take yourself to a grocery store. Keep in mind that 7-11, despite the tasty, night-time food you can get there, is not a grocery store. The kind of place you're looking for has fruits and vegetables, which, coincidentally, is what you're looking for.
Pick out a fresh, huge watermelon. If you don't know how, ask the clerk, most places have one. Better yet, pick out the best looking woman in the fruit section and tell her you have no idea how to pick out a good watermelon, it's a great pick-up routine. If the fruit section is "dogged out," either ask the clerk or wing it. Make very sure that this is a big watermelon. If you're not wondering if you can fit it in the fridge or not, it's not big enough.
Take your newly purchased wares home. Cut a hole in the top side of the watermelon (in case you're a moron, the "top side" is the side that faces up when the watermelon ceases to roll around and sits still). Open your 151, removing the lid and plastic retaining ring. Place the the neck of the bottle into the hole you made in the watermelon, and return the watermelon, replete with bottle, back in the upright position.
I think I should add that this is best done over a sink.
Unless you have someone who cleans up after you. In which case, who cares about a little mess?
Put the watermelon in the fridge. This may mean you have to remove some items and shelves, but if you're a real drunk, you probably don't have much in there to begin with. We eat out, if we eat at all, which is why Denny's, Krystal, and Waffle House corporations are the towering empires that they are today.
Leave the watermelon there for a week or so. It will take at least that long for the bottle to empty out and the 151 to take up residence inside the big, green gord.
Throw a party. Make the size of the party relative to the size of the watermelon. This would be done purely by guestimation, as there is, currently, no mathematical equation by which one could arrive at a proper figure. Even if there were, why waste even a small part of your life utilizing it?
The watermelon should be ready for you and your guests. It will be a hearty compliment to the various beers and boozes you've been wise enough, as a good host, to provide. It will also make most people mind-bogglingly drunk, which is why people throw parties in the first place.
151 is also a good substitution for Everclear in the suicidal concoctions most often drank at high school/frat house parties. It's less potent, and, therefore, less likely to kill one of your idiot friends.
Never beer-bong anything made with 151 or Everclear. Do not ask how I know you should not do this, just take my word for it. Whatever you're being paid for such a feat couldn't possibly be enough.
Well, that's my take on Bacardi's 151. There are only two legitimate reasons for it's existence, and I've covered both of those. I don't care, or really know, what sort of flavors flop about in the stuff. I don't know who should/shouldn't buy it. I have thrown out a few ideas, and if you like those ideas, then buy the booze. If not, it's no skin off my nose.
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