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In Response To Some Comments Here (Reply to this comment)
by SLOW
There are those who have said it was foolhardy of me to not "plan for the future" by putting some money away, specifically in a Whole Life policy, for when I chose to have kids and would need such a thing (and the prices are lower the sooner you buy).
To those I respond: "Ha."
First off, I have not had any kids in the interim, nor will I, ever.
Next, anyone who tells you that Whole Life is a good investment is an insurance salesman. Whole Life offers all the bad returns of a common savings account, with none of the benefits, plus some other detriments. Unless you die early, of course, in which case it might prove valuable- but the insurance companies are much better oddsmakers than you are, so it is not likely a good bet.
Term life is much smarter, and will cost more the later you buy it, no matter when you start. So my choice to avoid life insurance altogether (having no beneficiaries who need it) is not only excellent peronal advice, but sound financial planning advice. Heck, just putting the erstwhile "premiums" into the stock market or some mutual funds or savings bonds would, on average, give you much more value over both the short term and long term.
Do the math.
Of course, if you have kids, you've already made the greatest financial blunder possible, so statistical returns aren't your strong suit. If you're counting on THEM as your long-term medical insurance, well, you'd best get to spoiling and guilting them as much as possible, and spend less time blathering inanities on the Internet....
-SLOW
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Feb 12 '04
7:21 am PST
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Re: A Hilarious Review but Off Topic (Reply to this comment)
by SLOW
Thanks for your input and response. On question, though- how is this off-topic?
The topic is "Which Life Insurance Should I Purchase?", to which I've replied, "None, in certain conditions."
Sounds like it's a spot-on response, from where I sit.
And don't worry about any clean-up fees resulting from my death: you, the taxpayer, have already agreed to pay for those, in recompense for my dedicated service to my country. Thanks for that.
As for the status of my "will"- well, if you leave the planet with nothing more than you arrived with, there's really nothing to parse out. I do have one, anyway, though- just for spite. It clearly states that anyone who wants the internal organs or eyeballs of a smoker, drinker, and lecher, is welcome to bid on them, either piecemeal or as a set, with the funds raised thereof going to the Libertarian Party as a gift.
That is, of course, if Amex and Mastercard don't garnish the profits in order to pay my debts. Which is much more likely.
heh.
-SLOW
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Feb 12 '04
7:11 am PST
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A Hilarious Review but Off Topic (Reply to this comment)
by barakah59
you should at least carry enough to cover final expenses.
Being single and childless may have some advantages, you get to live for your self.
How Sad, I couldn't imagine not sharing my life with family.
Do you have a will?
Surely you are planning for your retirement. I already know you wanna Live that long.
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Nov 15 '03
7:59 pm PST
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Re: Very+nicely+done... (Reply to this comment)
by SLOW
Eh. If you find it Not Helpful, that's your opinion, of course. You must not be single and child-free, or like wasting money...
Thanks for commenting, though!
-SLOW
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Apr 25 '01
5:55 am PDT
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Very nicely done... (Reply to this comment)
by theeye
I enjoyed reading this -- very creative and well written. No choice but to rate it Not Helpful, though, for what I hope are obvious reasons. Nothing personal.
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Apr 24 '01
2:57 pm PDT
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Short-sightedness? (Reply to this comment)
by kamnet
One of the consistant themes I see with the "single and childless" crowd is that they are very arrogant and short-sighted when it comes to their futures. They live in the here and now and wait for trouble to arise before realizing they're in a heap of it.
GRANTED, you don't need insurance today. But one day you might just be engaged or married, and have children. Your priorities are going to change in that case. And you'll probably be kicking yourself in the pants that you didn't think about picking up that life insurance policy to take care of your family in the event of an untimely death back when you were younger and healthier and the insurance was cheaper.
One of the best benefits to getting a whole-life policy: in the event you decide years down the road that you do not need it anymore (such as you find yourself terminally single and childless) you can cash it in and invest it somewhere else, or just blow it on a nice vacation to Beruit ;)
Never fail to plan, unless you want to plan for failure.
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Mar 28 '01
9:41 pm PST
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Re: Re: Paranoid? (Reply to this comment)
by SLOW
Never let it be said that I ever did anything that might be hassling to my employer- I mean, shucks, they're so nice and pay me far more than I'm worth and everything....
HA!
I don't care if it's a hassle- offering a "perk" that is not appreciated is not an offer at all. Ask employees at dwindling dot-coms if they really appreciate those stock options at the moment, and wouldn't consider leaving 'cause of them....
But good points, anyway, and thanks for sharing.
-SLOW
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Mar 13 '01
12:56 pm PST
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Re: Paranoid? (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
Death can result in litigation, too. Ever heard of a wrongful death suit?
And I work in the financial services industry, not the insurance industry. I don't push insurance. I don't own any life insurance, except what my employer provides, because I don't have any dependents.
But there are still reasons why some single, childless people might want to get life insurance: if they ever plan on getting married or having kids, it's cheaper to buy it sooner rather than later, and when they're healthy rather then when they could possibly be sick.
Providing group insurance to employees vs. just giving them the cash as part of their salaries is cost neutral to the employer, but tax-beneficial to the employee, since they would otherwise have to pay for life insurance with after-tax dollars.
And, it's way too much of an administrative hassle to offer your employees a choice of the life insurance or the cash, besides which in order for the insurance benefit to be tax-qualified for the employer there are minimum levels of enrollment for employees and if only certain employees choose to get the insurance, the company might not attain that minimum level.
But I'm sure you knew that already.
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Sep 15 '00
3:29 pm PDT
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Re: Paranoid? (Reply to this comment)
by SLOW
That's what they WANT you to think.
Here's rebuttal:
1) Why would life insurance for a single childless person be a benefit? Look at it this way: the company provides this service to all employees, including those who don't need it, driving up overall cost; a real "benefit" would be to give the employees the extra cash and let them decide what insurance they need.
2) Firing can too often result in litigation; death is incredibly decisive.
To answer your question: the only people who think I'm paranoid are the ones out to get me.
heh.
-SLOW
PS: Let me guess, you work for an insurance company, right?
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Sep 14 '00
6:41 am PDT
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Paranoid? (Reply to this comment)
by Lobstergirl
I wouldn't worry about your employer knocking you off. There are two basic reasons for your employer to buy insurance for you:
1) As an employee benefit, just like health insurance or disability insurance. In this case you name the beneficiary.
2) To insure themselves against the loss of your skills if you die. The death benefit will cover the cost of hiring and training someone to replace you. In this case your employer is the beneficiary.
Either way, they have no reason to want you dead. If they wanted to get rid of you, they'd just fire you.
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Sep 12 '00
3:08 pm PDT
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FF (Reply to this comment)
by hamhar
Lack of knowledge in the subject will not keep SLOW from taking you through a rambling jaunt through a few of his pet peeves. No substance,little thought, no help.
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Jun 29 '00
1:53 pm PDT
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Don't worry (Reply to this comment)
by dkarmol
Slow-
DOn't worry about life isnurance providing an incentive for someone to kill you. Every state prohibits a murderer from profiting from his/her crime. Likewise, all insurance companies investigate the cause of death before paying. If your beneficiary is the suspect, they will not pay unless the beneficiary is fully exonerated.
After all, insurance companies don't make money by paying claims. They make money by collecting premiums and NOT paying claims. (This applies to all insurance, and explains why it is often difficult to get the insurance co. to pay, even whne you are right.)
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Jun 25 '00
5:36 am PDT
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Re: Another hilarious opinion! (Reply to this comment)
by SLOW
Glad you like.
Word to politicians who ignore non-parents: see? we pay attention and vote and everything.
heh.
Thanks for your comments and appreciation.
-SLOW
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Jun 05 '00
6:58 pm PDT
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Another hilarious opinion! (Reply to this comment)
by astrid
I'm thinking that we "single and childless with mandatary insurance from work" are really in danger! Where are the special interests groups out fighting for our safety?
Until we switch to a national sales tax, THIS is where I want to see my tax dollars spent! :)
Astrid
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May 25 '00
1:36 pm PDT
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Re: Good hints (Reply to this comment)
by SLOW
Jens-
Thanks so much! I'd write more, but it's hard to keep pace with writers like you...
And I can't tell you how much I appreciate being on your page; you're the best, man.
-SLOW
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May 17 '00
7:11 am PDT
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Good hints (Reply to this comment)
by 401402
And the portion humor of course, why the heck don't you write every day 10 new things?
BTW: you are featured on my profile page this week, guess what category...
Best, Jens
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May 16 '00
10:21 pm PDT
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Re: Heh Heh... (Reply to this comment)
by SLOW
See? Great minds think alike. heh. Thanks for posting the comments, and also for giving me a useful tip, should I ever decide to create anklebiters.
-SLOW
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May 12 '00
10:41 am PDT
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Heh Heh... (Reply to this comment)
by ladycynic
I've done this! Before having children, my insurance was set up to go to the IRS. I figured they would take most of it anyway, why not give em the whole damn thing. :P
Now of course, the children get the benefits with some restrictions as to the cause of death. They know the restrictions are there but don't know the details, this makes them very watchful that nothing unusual happens to Mom <eg>. It's nice having bodyguards!
Great review and as usual, funny stuff! (smile)
As always, I am
LadyCynic
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May 12 '00
10:35 am PDT
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Re: I hear ya! (Reply to this comment)
by SLOW
natural-
Well, who do you think commits the overwhelming majority of homicides in this country? You got it- immediate family members (carry it out to extended family, family friends, and friends of the victim, and you have 99% of the murderers in America).
Thanks, but no thanks- that's a risk I don't need to take.
heh.
-SLOW
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May 12 '00
5:51 am PDT
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Re: I hear ya! (Reply to this comment)
by SLOW
kifwebe-
Keep the faith. heh. Thanks.
-SLOW
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May 12 '00
5:49 am PDT
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Re: I hear ya! (Reply to this comment)
by naturalhigh
Single and childless too, but there's still family...and they're all happy and alive. To each his own - so if Slow doesn't want life insurance, he's made it valid. :))
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May 12 '00
1:58 am PDT
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I hear ya! (Reply to this comment)
by kifwebe
I got quite a few laughs out of this one. Maybe that's because I'm one of those single, childless people too. Thanks! -kifwebe
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May 11 '00
7:43 pm PDT
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