What does RPG Stand for? (5 Star RPG Writeoff)--EDITED 12/02
Dec 02 '00
Ok, those of you who know me know that I am not a frequent reviewer of games. Heck, I'm not a frequent reviewer of anything except for 311! But anyway, some of my friends who dominate this section invited me into a writeoff. So, here I am. It's a writeoff for RPGs, and I don't even know if this is an RPG. But I went to the RPG sections, and I wasn't feeling anything. But when I think about good ol' 007, I get that funny feeling!
I just figured it out. This IS an RPG! Granted, it's not a Role Playing Game. No, it's a Railed and Plastered Game! So, please don't NR me for it not being an 'RPG'!
Requisite Goldeneye Information
In Goldeneye, you play the role of 00 agent James Bond. In the single player version, you are asked to go through many of the mission that Bond himself attempted in the movie 'Goldeneye.' In the multiplayer version, you are allowed to choose between dozens of characters and weapons in an attempt to defeat your friends by gaining the most kills. This game is like no other because it adds the element of stealth into the equation. You must have strategy to win this game, not just the best character or weapon. In order to facilitate this type of gameplay, the makers of Goldeneye, Rare, added weapons with various zoom levels, weapons with silencers, weapons that work without you even being there (mines), and controls that allow for crouching and strafing. The game is won by the person who is knows the level and the controls, as well as the psychology of the other players.
Now that we've finished that, let's go with a Disclaimer.
This review will advocate things with which you may not agree. It does advocate alcohol consumption, and the killing of the characters in the game (including your own character). If you feel you shouldn't read this, don't.
Additionally, 311Bud says:
-Know your limits. Thousands of young people die from alcohol poisoning. Often there is too fine of line between friends having a good time and a hospital visit. So, be careful. Your health is the first consideration, but also remember that if someone throws up on the N64, no one will get to play, sober or not.
-This game is a game. Although you are killing others and yourself in this GAME, this is not the things that should be happening in the real world. If you get angry, take it out in the game with your controller and nowhere else.
That said, let's get to the fun stuff!
Goldeneye was released in 1997 I believe. The world has not been the same since. But there are like 54 billion Goldeneye epinions out there right now, and I'm sure at least 1% of those are good. Therefore, if I give you all the details you might need to know, it would simply be a boring rehash. It's not my style to be boring, so I'm going to march triumphantly into territory I hope has not been touched previously.
And that territory is...
Drunken-0-7!
or..
Double 0 Smashed!
or..
Everything's better with beer!
Whatever you call it, the game is basically Multiplayer 007, with one addition: alcohol. Now I know that writing about multiplayer exclusively takes me even farther from the heart of this write-off (unless we change the acronym 'RPG' as argued for above), but just deal with it. If it helps, imagine you're playing the role of a drunk-off-your-bum guy trying to kill people. There, that wasn't so hard was it (did I just change this to a Duke Nukem review? Hopefully No).
There are two versions of this game. Don't worry, I've got all the bases covered.
First there is the I'm Drunk, You're Not version,. It's kind of self explanatory. You go ahead and get blitzed(within your limits). Then find 1-3 sober people. Play multiplayer. The bonus to this over regular multiplayer is that if you win, the pride level is off the charts. In this game of razor-sharp reflexes and cautious planning, you have succeeded, even though your brain has been set to have no reflexes and no planning whatsoever! You will love rubbing this in to your friends, and your friends will hate you for it. This is why the second version of the game might be better...
The We're all wasted, so let's waste each other version. This is just drunken bliss at it's best. No one has any cunning at all, so it's just run into whatever action. It's great to have your character actually stumble around just as you are in real life. Talk about role playing!!! There are some differences you should know about between this and the sober game:
-Suicides are not bad, in fact they are encouraged, blowing up is cool.
(What this means is that it often makes for a good laugh if your CHARACTER fires, say, a rocket launcher into a wall, and blows the charcter up. Do not kill your human self.)
-The point of the game is not the best point total, it's to get the coolest award at the end. By the way, this is the LEMMING AWARD.
-Don't play the Caverns, Complex, or Caves. Not a good idea when you're sober, much less when you are drunk.
-Be sure to pick a weapon that explodes.
-Use the cheat codes to make the game more quirky and fun. Especially those cheats that just annoy the heehaw out of you when you are straight.
Slow animation will drive yo crazy!!!
That's about it, let's talk about the quality of the game itself.
GAMEPLAY
Unusually good for a drunken game. You'll find that the controls are quite intuitive. However, some will find it difficult to choose the correct weapon.
GRAPHICS
Man, talk about blurry. But that's not the game's fault.
SOUND
The sound of killing (characters) is great, wish there was a way to keep it and get rid of the:
MUSIC
It's cra-eh, can't say that. Phooey. Sober or not, it's cra-yeah, I get it. phooey, but it get's even worse when you're skewered. You'll have to mute it (and lose the cool sounds of death) in favor of some good drunk music, such as 311!!!!! It is all about the 3 1 1.
OVERALL
The best time to be had with an N64 and a bottle, hands down. Try it sometime...and if you have added any quirks to this game that's sure to sweep the nation (now), lemme know!
Please read the other contributions to the Five Star RPG Write-Off from
these members: 311bud, brandon2001, chris_billings, goldentoe, horhay,
mskills, sephiroth2000, and zackeriah.
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Epinions.com ID:
311Bud
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Location: Williamson, Ga
Reviews written: 82
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