Get out of the Diamond Rat Race with Vintage Jewelry
Mar 16 '00 (Updated Mar 20 '00)
When then-fiance and I were looking at engagement rings, I found I was having a difficult time. Yes, it was hard enough finding a setting we both liked... but I was also struggling to balance common sense, values, and expectations. I've never been much of a "jewelry person." But it was hard to be casual about the engagement ring. Here was something that I would be wearing daily for the rest of my life, that reflected my taste and personality AND that supposedly -- at least for a lot of people -- reflected our station in life. The latter part was the worst, and we can argue all day about how inappropriate that might be, but that's another opinion. For me, personally, I was at a time in my life when everyone I knew was getting engaged, and there was a lot of "ring talk." It was putting a completely different slant on the phrase "Size Does Matter." Even though we all had a good knee-slap over that ridiculously self-serving two-months salary guideline, an expectation remained. I didn't want to buy into this, but I found myself gritting my teeth about it anyway sometimes.
It wasn't so much an affordability issue at this particular moment--it was putting so much money into one thing. That's great for some people, but not so comfortable for me. I had a hard time thinking about the ring as an "investment" even though some of the buying-advice language is slanted that way. A diamond ring was not, in my book, a sensible investment. Its value is arbitrary--take it out of the store, and suddenly it's a "used diamond." It will be appraised at the $$ you paid for it, but it's not really a liquid, tradable commodity. The metal in the setting is also no longer plum, so it is not worth its weight either--it's scrap metal on the market. And a portion of the ring cost is workmanship. I am not knocking those who spend a lot of jewelry. I am just saying that it is not a liquid investment. If you're going to spend a lot on it, it should be because you choose to and because you will value it every day of your life. Not because of its value on paper.
All of these things were bugging the hell out of me. And then I wandered into an antique store that sold vintage jewelry. I was just dazzled by what I saw. Exquisite workmanship, including filigree which you so rarely find in modern jewelry. Unique settings, which looked "traditional" even though they were nothing like the engagement rings any one else had. And prices which were a little more reasonable. Yeah, they were "used" rings, but I didn't feel like I was shopping in a pawnshop! It totally changed the price concerns for me. We decided to spend what we felt was right for the ring we loved best--and stop worrying about the confusing guidelines we used in retail stores.
I fell in love with about a dozen rings right away, creating an entire set of new problems, but those were a lot more fun to deal with. Fiance and I spent a pleasurable afternoon debating the choices and we ended up getting something very different--two diamonds and a sapphire in a filigree setting. It felt very "me" and I felt it stood out in a way that had nothing to do with size or quality of the stones (not that they were anything to apologize for). I liked that--I felt like I'd managed to bow out of the Rat Race of "color, clarity, and carat size" altogether but still had a ring people admired a lot.
The funny thing is, I thought this ring was so incomparable--but I was at a meeting last month and 5 of the 8 women at the table had a diamond-and-sapphire ring, and two of them were antique white gold filigree not unlike mine. *LOL* That didn't annoy me at all, I was really tickled. We all loved our rings and each had wanted something "different but not TOO different."
I guess I've written this opinion as if vintage jewelry is solely a haven for the lily-livered. I realize not everyone has my conflicted feelings about engagement jewelry. Vintage and estate Jewelry has a huge following; it's sold by some very chi-chi shops. Yes, in our case, we saved money (We spent about a third less than I thought we would) but a friend of mine spent $10K on an estate ring. So you're not amongst cheapskates if you go this route. Vintage jewelry- especially from the 1920's and 1930s, like my ring-- is, in my eye, knockout gorgeous, and it has appeal to a number of people. I've since bought several other pieces from the same era, and when husband & I talk about jewelry, this is where I look first.
Some people ask me if I mind wearing "someone else's ring," and I realize that might be an issue for some people. People often ask "Is that a family ring?" and I say "Yes, -- someone else's family, though!" Doesn't bug me a bit because I love the ring so much. It's something for you to consider personally, of course. Good luck, and happy shopping!
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Epinions.com ID:
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Member: Karen
Location: Michigan
Reviews written: 86
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Epinions lost its luster when advisors insisted on lengthy reviews with minute details.
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