In-Sink-Erator In-Sink-Erator

In-Sink-Erator

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Not to Be Denied

Nov 22, 1999 (Updated Nov 22, 1999)
Review by  
Rated a Very Helpful Review

Pros:Buffness, Toughness, Burlyness, Good Looks, Immortality, Stylishness, Volume, Coolness

Cons:None

If you haven’t already I’d recommend looking into the brand new 2000 model In-Sink-Erator--indisputably the sturdiest, burliest, toughest, meanest and most bad-ass garbage disposal on the market today. Quite simply, the thing is not to be denied. Unlike some disposals, which emit a thin, whimpering, insecure little buzzing sound when you turn them on, the 2000 In-Sink-Erator sounds like a nuclear turbine engine. When I flip the switch my entire kitchen begins to shake, the street lights flicker and the reception on my television goes fuzzy. To date I haven’t found a single item the 2000 model can’t handle with relative ease and nonchalance. The other day I tore a big mother thick branch about three feet long from a deciduous tree outside my apartment and rammed it straight down the throat of my 2000 In-Sink-Erator, leaves and all. Well, it was gone in about four seconds. It wasn’t even a contest. You should have seen it--the weak-sauce acorn twig getting sucked down and chomped up like it wasn’t even there. The bad-boy also downed a perfectly good stainless steel fork last Tuesday. How does the In-Sink-Erator do it? Who knows! Its disintegrating/shredding/mauling powers are a mystery, as they should be. All we need to know is that the thing is a beast, a real animal. Keep your fingers out of there.

The real question is this: Is there a more valuable addition to the modern worold than the 2000 In-Sink-Erator? I sincerely doubt it. People are making such a silly fuss over the overblown, boring and somewhat superfluous “internet” and all its fancy “IPOs” and “HTMLs” and “URLs” and “VCs” and “DVDs” and “MP3s” and “300 SEs” and “WWWs” and “semi-conductors” and “portals” and “band-width” and “free porn.” But who cares? I mean who really gives a crap? Besides, which do you think would win in a fight--the Palm Pilot VII or the In-Sink-Erator? Netscape 5.0 or the In-Sink-Erator? Your modem or the In-Sink-Erator? Furthermore, the In-Sink-Erator is cheaper! Nothing else on the market kicks this much ass for this amount of money. Want to upgrade? Check out this nuclear-grade wild beast of a garbage disposal--the 2000 model In-Sink-Erator.


Recommend this product? Yes

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