A Cynic Uses the Mach III Razor
May 28 '00 (Updated Sep 10 '00)
Like any red-blooded American guy, I spend a disproportionate amount of time watching sporting events on TV, and I am doing so when this really stupid commercial comes on.
It has these airplanes flying over and some baby faced model/actor shaving, and then this hot model/actress babe is all over him, presumably because he's shaving with this razor.
So then I see that the ad is for the Mach III razor, by Gillette, and I ponder the fact that Mach 3 is actually about 2,100 mph, and if these planes are flying just above the ground at 2,100 mph, they're probably crashing into school yards and hospitals and such, killing children and sick people by the thousands.
Then I remember that Saturday Night Live did a satire of multi-blade razors many years back, probably when the Trac II came out, and I vow to avoid the Mach III like the plague, mumbling something about the decline of Western Civilization.
And then I get my Free Sample in the mail.
I hate to admit it, but this is the best razor I have ever used.
I've been using the Trac II or Good News for years, with Edge as my default shaving cream. I get about 3 shaves per blade or razor, and I average about 3 nicks. By the third shave, I'm usually scraping over my chin repeatedly, like a guy trying to mow weeds with an old rotary lawn mower.
With the Mach III, I need only one swipe and the beard is gone, as if I'm doing a fairway with a power mower. I have two days growth and I go through it like nothing is there. I towel off the remaining shaving cream, and my whole face is smooth, with NO NICKS!
Then I see the ad again and I tell myself that the razor will die like a big dog. One shave and it's toast. This can't last. With ads that stupid, they can't possibly make a razor that can stand the test of time.
That was months ago! Now, after about 4 months (and three razors), I'm hooked. Every shave has been almost as smooth as the first, and these things refuse to wear out--unlike my old Trac II.
I'll say it again: This is the bast razor I've ever used.
Electric razors spare me the nicks but they never shave close enough. Two blade razors cut me to ribbons and die after three shaves. Single blade razors are for campouts and military campaigns only.
This thing makes all other discussions of razors moot.
Airplanes did NOT fly over. Children and hospital patients were not killed. A cute gal DID come and do the TV thing, but she's neither an actress nor a model (though she looks like both, of course).
And I do get the best shave, time after time, that I've ever had, stupid commercial or not.
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