101 Great Uses For Duct Tape

May 3, 2000

This is not a particularly serious opinion. It is good if you want a laugh, but it may point out some things that you never thought of. So, without further ado, I present my list of the top 101 uses for duct tape:
(Note: I am not liable for injury if you try any of these. I have only tried about 25 of them myself)

1) As a brake retainer when tuning skis.
2) To fix that hole in your baseball mitt.
3) If you cut yourself, put cloth on it and wrap it in duct tape.
4) Hold together wires after splicing.
5) Pull across the road at Halloween, instead of toilet paper.
6) Fix broken hoses.
7) Temporary fan belt in your car (usually not recommended).
8) Repair/replace cracked or broken car window.
9) Repair furniture.
10) Makes a great, cheap baseball or hockey ball.
11) Repair ski gloves.
12) A good belt when your pants rip.
13) Fix the strap on your bike helmet.
14) Seat cover for cars, motorcycles, etc.
15) Great for shutting up annoying relatives.
16) Great for tying up annoying relatives.
17) Hold together old boxes.
18) Hold down ripped carpet.
19) Fix taillight on car.
20) Seal leaky tire/inner tube.
21) Reflective stripes/lettering.
22) Lines on basketball court or other field.
23) Hold down wiring on floor.
24) Hold together computer console.
25) Use for construction when nails and/or cement are in short supply.
26) Fix jeans.
27) Instant mute for annoying siblings.
28) Fix shoes
29) Fly Paper.
30) Tape it to your butt and it makes a great sled in the winter.
31) Set up the rigging on a sailboat.
32) Hang a poster or sign
33) Handcuffs
34) Cooler
35) Fix the toilet seat.
36) Remove hair easily and painfully.
37) Disk labels
38) Book Mark (when doubled over).
39) Waterproof clothes, shoes, etc.
40) Fix your glasses
41) Use for straight lines when painting.
42) Use as a better grip on tools when the original one becomes rough.
43) Wrap it sticky-side-out around furniture to keep cat from clawing it.
44) Re-enforce folders, book covers, etc.
45) Tape over sharp corners to prevent scratches.
46) Patch a tent.
47) Cover blisters
48) Secure your table cloth at a picnic.
49) Secure your dog at a picnic.
50) Fix shower curtain.
51) Make-your-own cruise control by putting duct tape on gas pedal.
52) Make-your-own bumper stickers
53) Attach splints to broken limbs.
54) Secure metal seams when welder is unavailable.
55) Repaint football helmet.
56) Cover half-finished can of pop to save for later.
57) Replace missing hinges or latches.
58) Hold batteries in TV remote.
59) Repair broken pencil.
60) Makeshift knee brace.
61) Repair expensive clothing (from the inside, of course!)
62) Seal the bottom of your boat.
63) Tripwires.
64) Secure undesirable people into obscure room/closet.
65) Tape your buttocks together to keep from farting.
66) "Designer" Clothing
67) Afix TV to ceiling over bed.
68) Great mouse trap.
69) Custom condoms
70) Fix broken drill bits.
71) Good flags when drilling pilot holes.
72) Hold car doors closed.
73) Repair broken seat belts.
74) Make your adjustable hat a fitted one.
75) Tape mounting brackets for stereo components in place.
76) Repair your car doors.
77) Fix torn bags.
78) Jockstrap (Ouch!!)
79) Tape important things to your desk.
80) Attach accessories (to car, guns, etc.) without using screws.
81) Reattach your exhaust pipe.
82) Censor bars on items in your home.
83) Fix hands of clock
84) Use as sticky-notes.
85) Joining two pieces of rope
86) Make a wallet, CD case, etc.
87) Attach two pieces of wood
88) Closing non-sealable bags (eg potato chip bags)
89) Use small strips to mount Christmas lights.
90) Hold bundles together, in lieu of rubber bands.
91) Fix holes in pockets.
92) Repair bike, ski, or football pads/armor.
93) Line gutters to prevent leakage.
94) Attach Page-a-Day calendars to wall.
95) Tow rope or climbing rope
96) Attach multiple layers to bottom of door to prevent drafts.
97) Great present for the hard-to-buy-for male.
98) Use in place of all other tape.
99) Use to secure partially severed limbs.
100) Throw it at people.
101) Use it for what it was made for: to repair heating ducts!!!

And remember: Without Duct Tape, the democracy would fall.

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