There Was Nowhere To Go From Here But Up - *Worst Gig Write-Off
Oct 28 '00 (Updated Dec 30 '01)
The Bottom Line Things DID get better....
This was my first professional (paying) gig as a leader after I had taken up my horns again, circa 1992. I had played all the way through high school and college and some semi-pro bands, until I quit to go to grad school and pursue a business career. Anyhow, 10 years later, I took up my alto again, found a good teacher who believed in me and determined that the tenor was my horn. I had studied with this teacher for a few years and he said that it was time for me to start getting some playing experience. I had the same idea myself. I knew very few players – no piano players. So, I ran a blind ad in a local newspaper and checked out the responses.
One of the responses was from someone I knew as a trumpet player from college. We’ll call him Mario (not his real name). Anyhow, he was working as a teacher, gigging and was interested in cutting a demo with me. So, we got together at my home, did some tunes, and recorded a passable demo on a karaoke recorder that I had.
There was a coffeehouse across the street from the hospital where I worked at the time. I bought coffee there fairly often. He agreed to listen to the demo tape. He liked it and so we worked out arrangements for a two-set late afternoon gig on a weekday.
I agreed to publicize it at the hospital, which I did. As the gig approached, I was practicing the tunes, getting ready and really publicizing it with flyers and talking it up.
Lots, and I mean LOTS of people said that they were going to come. Several others said that they’d try.
(If this were a Twilight Zone episode, the music and Rod Serling would kick in right about now)
The day approached, and I was ALIVE. The day flew by. Work was over and I went to the coffeehouse to set up. Mario came. He was STONED on marijuana! He had all the signs – red eyes, lethargy, sporadic giggling. At least he had used breath mints. I didn’t say anything because I figured that the show must go on and ragging by me was not going to make the music any better. So, I helped him get his Fender Rhodes (electric piano) set up.
Minutes before the gig, I started obsessing about the crowd. No one was there. No one! I decided that I was going to play my best no matter what and I did. The first set went ok. I was playing adequately considering my nervousness and all this stuff going on. Mario was not playing as well as he did when we made the homemade demo, but he was not playing all that badly. I thought his solos were a little superficial, but the time was ok because we were using his drum machine. There were some people coming in and out, but none of them were folks I’d talked to about coming. Very few people were staying, except a couple of people I knew who ordered some coffee and proceeded to ignore us while having a conversation. This was annoying, too. I wasn’t there for background music…this was my DEBUT.
During the break, one person, who had sworn she was going to show up, walked right by the coffeeshop and didn’t look, even though we were visible. The play for the second set was about the same as the first – Mario kind of covering things but not great, me, raw and struggling, then succeeding in concentrating on the music and not letting anything else distract me. At least, it was manageable until the owner of the shop left. I figured this meant that I wasn’t going to get paid today, but I was still able to finish the set competently.
So we finished and I helped Mario put his stuff in the car and paid him what I had agreed to. As expected, I didn’t get paid that day – the owner hadn’t left any instructions to the counter help.
I ended up meeting with the owner the next day. He said that he was disappointed. He said that he thought Mario was stoned (I said that I didn’t think so) and that he sounded like he was playing on a cruise ship. I said that I thought he had played ok. ‘Course, the guy was right – Mario had played 3 years for Carnival Cruise lines, but I was not going to admit it. About this time, I figured that I was going to get stiffed, but the guy said that he’d look at the register tapes and to come later. When I did, he ended up paying me about half of what we agreed. I took it, figuring with the crummy crowd and Mario being in reefer-induced outer space it was as good as it was going to get for that day.
Well, I decided to find another piano player. I never worked with Mario again. I didn’t play the coffeehouse again, either. I was too embarrassed to even ask, although I went in there for coffee pretty often.
Me, I learned something about concentration, something about musical promotion and no-shows and something about bookers and owners. It’s pretty funny now, but I was upset about everything for weeks. I did get some perspective from my teacher. I told him what had happened and he said, “Welcome to the music business, John!” . Then, he told me to hang in because things would get better, which they did.
This is the "worst gig" write-off, organized by myself. The following other members participated:Christinajn, lunadisarm, Pianomam, yikesdoug, althaea, sparkospunky, AxemanAZ, jennifernorth, aliencowboy, Taishan, PKWbassguy, tortillaboy, Panterad00d.
Please take the time to read their submissions.
Thanks for reading. God Bless!
If you like mainstream and fusion jazz, check out my web site, www.jazzobsession.com. You’ll find information on my newly-released CD, The Power of Two by John Temmerman's Jazz Obsession Quartet. It is available through Amazon.com and www.cdbaby.com. I have a special discount available on sales through my web site. Come on by!
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