Kristina's Tips For Starting A Successful Boy Band
Jul 23 '00 (Updated Apr 26 '02)
You've seen me write about those infamous Boy Bands - i.e. NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Five, Westlife, BBMak, and 98 Degrees. Now, as a consumer, I'm going to tell you the formula you need to get me to actually listen to your music and follow you around the country from venue to venue.
Sidenote: Thanks to Jennifernorth for her inspirational review on creating the perfect rock and roll band.
Who Should Be In Your Group
Very important here. Your boy band should be composed of five members. Why? Look at your historical information. Which boy bands have been the most successful? Of course the ones that have FIVE members in them. Examples : Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, Jackson 5, New Edition, and New Kids on the Block.
Next, each boy must have their own distinctive look and personality. A casting call would look like this:
Boy Member #1
* Drop dead gorgeous, but in a pretty way.
* Can dance circles around professional dancers.
* Sings like an angel.
* Must be friendly with the media. Would be willing to do millions of interviews and not hold anything back.
Boy Member #2
* Drop dead gorgeous, but in a rugged way.
* Dances like a professional stripper.
* Sings like one of his idols - could be Michael Jackson, could be Kurt Cobain...doesn't matter.
* Must cooperate with the media. Doesn't offer everything but close.
Boy Member #3
* Must be goofy looking. Think Jim Carrey or Seth Green. Added bonus points for dyed hair.
* Dances to be funny.
* Sings to be funny.
* Talks with the media constantly but never utters a word of truth. It's all about the humor, right?
Boy Member #4
* Plain looks - could be your boy next door
* Dances like the boy next door, somewhat clunky but that's really only for show. When forced, can keep up with the rest of the boys.
* Sings like someone in your high school choir. Not outstanding, but a supporting character.
* Supports whatever Boy #1 and Boy #2 says to the media. Cooperative, but offer up no new insight.
Boy Member #5
* Hot looking, but in a rough and tough way. Added bonus points for scars and/or tattoos.
* Dances like he has sex. Enough said.
* Sings like he has sex. Ditto above.
* Ignores the media.
Band Name
Two real winners. First, have a band member's mother name you. Lots of sentimental reasons for this plus, the media will eat this information alive and print, print, print about you. Second, name yourselves after something geographical - street, city, etc...I'm not sure why it works but it seems to be the popular thing to do.
What Songs to Sing
Hook up immediately with Max Martin. He is the king of pop. If he's busy, see what Mutt Lange or Babyface are doing. Diane Warren too if you need additional lyrics. Together, they write and produce the songs that will get you in front of the crowd of the moment - the MTV groupies.
If you aren't able to hook up with these people, then you might have to give some thought to what songs you'll actually sing. I've included some hints below because of course, I want you to be successful.
It's important that the following formula occurs.
You must have songs that profess your love to a girl who wants nothing to do with you. Good examples of this: I Want You Back, NSYNC and Back Here, BBMak.
You must have songs that scream, girl, you did me over and now I want you out of my life. Good examples of this: Bye, Bye Bye, NSYNC and Don't Want You Back, Backstreet Boys.
You must have songs that tells us about being in love. They need to be over the top sugary and if you're 14, they make you swoon and want to lay on your bed for hours listening to them. Good examples of this: I Do, 98 Degrees and This I Promise You, NSYNC. Also known as songs that could be played at any wedding.
You must have songs that tell us about heartbreak. They need to be heart-wrenching as though it was the personal experience of the person who's listening to the song. Good examples of this: Hardest Thing, 98 Degrees and I Thought She Knew, NSYNC.
You must have songs that tell you that you are better off with me (the boy singing this song), instead of the other guy. Hey, all girls enjoy having another boy chase them, even when they're unavailable. Good examples of this: I'll Never Break Your Heart, Backstreet Boys and It's Gonna Be Me, NSYNC.
And last, but not least, you need to have a song on your cd that is just about dancing. Who cares if the words mean anything! It needs to be a tune that throws your listener into a tizzy - makes them want to drop whatever they're doing and dance dance dance. Good examples of this: You Drive Me Crazy (Stop Remix), Britney Spears and Slam Dunk Da Funk, Five.
2 of each of these and you have yourself a cd!!! Woo Hoo for you!
Choreography and Music Videos
Make sure that when you dance, it's suggestive, but in a subtle way. This way, you'll be able to draw in the kiddie pool without totally ticking off the parents, but the older chicks will get what you really mean.
It's important that you stay true to your persona. Doing something different in a music video can really screw with your core audience. Remember, it's all about pleasing them, not yourself.
Who To Tour With
Tour with either your competition (see Nickelodeon's All That Tour) or with another pop sensation that is of the opposite sex. It worked for NSYNC and Britney Spears.
Artistic Integrity
Um, what? You've got to be kidding. Yes, once you break up and go solo, you may pursue your own individual artistic integrity but for now, it's about commercial appeal. You're young, don't sweat it.
Wrap Up Comments
If you're looking to start a boy band now, I've got bad news for you. I think by the time you get your act together, the backlash will be in full motion and you'll be unable to capitalize on the fruits of your labor. My advice - wait until 2008. It should make a comeback around then.
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Member: Kristina Frazier-Henry
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Cannot breathe. Missing Barbara.
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