|
|
One Rubicon that MUST be crossed - sexual discussionSep 03 '00 Write an essay on this topic.Oh boy. The Sex Write-off. The vultures are a-circlin' the "just-in" box waitin' to start pickin'. Sorry, kids, no graphical references out of this boy. I won't go into detail about making PENETRATING commentary or about DRIVING my point home. I had a HARD time deciding on a category as Epinions doesn't lend itself well to editorials, but finally inspiration CAME to me and I was able to put my worries to BED. The main THRUST of my discussion will center around the root of the problem of careless sexuality and what can be done to help alleviate this, so RIDE with me and we'll be IN and OUT of this epinion in no time... Much has been said about many negative subjects associated with sex. Whether the foundation of the argument is religious, medical, social or just stems from lack of one's own sexual ability, the basis of the problem in 99.9% of the cases stems from the same place - a lack of proper handling on the part of the family in discussing the subject of sex! Sex is one of the most difficult subjects to breach within many houses. Some are so fearful of the concept they don't even acknowledge the existence of s-e-x. It's also one of the most important subjects that MUST be discussed because the results and ramifications of sex can have considerable repercussions with many affected for life - or given a life sentence. Sex literally IS a matter of life and death. When to discuss? What's the magic number? That depends on the individual, but there will come a time when they start becoming aware of their sexuality and begin to either ask questions or showing interest in such matters. That becomes the time - early on before other influences can take hold. There is no blanket age that can be assigned to having The Talks - and note the plural case as sex education is not something that can ever be properly disseminated with one catch-all discussion. Parents must expend the extra effort regardless of how embarassed or uninformed they feel. Embarassment can be cured as can ignorance. The effort MUST be made. How to discuss? The only approach that has a prayer's chance is straight-ahead, no-holds-barred, free give-and-take by both parties. Hemming and hawing around the subject will lead to confusion. Restrictive, one-way communication puts the receiver at a grave disadvantage with no immediate recourse in getting answers to questions or clearing up items that may not have been properly put by the sender. Condescending talk can create stigmas that may take up to a lifetime to unravel. Why to discuss? As I stated before, the consequences can range from nothing to everything. Each new partner is like spinning a roulette wheel, only the wheel has staggered degrees of winning and losing depending on what number comes up. Making it all the more important for family to get involved is the trivialization of sex by the media. While infidelity to partners and promiscuity have been around even well before Moses returned from Mt. Sinai with God's Two-Tablet Prescription, never has the visibility of such been so high. Sex is used as a tool, a weapon, a form of bait, and as a marketing tool. Innuendoes - subtle and otherwise - abound in commercials, billboards, and programs. While many talk and rant about how we're becoming some kind of Sodom and Gomorrah, these individuals will watch the offending shows 8 or 9 times to make SURE what they're watching is trash and send ratings to new highs, which continues the circle. Not helping the situation is the other extreme, who believe that s-e-x should only be used for reproductive purposes and spend much of their free time promoting an agenda that affixes shame to s-e-x and petitioning the libraries to ban books like Gray's Anatomy as smut. Whether we like it or not, these are the parameters we are dealing with and since no one individual has the power to instill their New World Order, the smart move is to ADAPT to the circumstances and work out the best solution possible, as opposed to the best possible solution. Finally, what to discuss. Naturally, the mechanics must, er, come first. Tell them about their anatomy, the anatomy about the other gender, and how they interface. Almost sounds like a computer upgrade, huh. Let them know about all the byproducts that can result, such as offspring, changes in feeling towards the other, and the ever-present disease aspect. Discuss all these in detail and encourage questions. Do bring up the abstinence angle, as this IS the only proven successful method for heading off the negatives discussed above. Biblical interpretation will depend on your beliefs. Reality, though MUST ALSO be part of this discussion. Yes, abstinence is a preferred method, but let's be real. We all have committed transgressions in our lives whether it was cheating on taxes, running stop signs, speeding, or what not. I myself have failed miserably at abstinence since my 20s. In fact I failed again last night after a nice month-long streak. It was much easier back in late teens and early 20s for me back in the Dark Ages when I couldn't get a date from a calendar, much less a girl. To act as if our child will never perform sex before he or she is married is a nice ideal, but a lousy practice. Therefore, make them aware of contraceptives, their use, their limitations, and tell them where they can get them without shame. I'd rather my son wait until he's married or at least engaged before having sex, but realistically I don't expect that to happen. Most of us try our first cigarette and our first beer away from parental sight, and the same goes for sex. I would MUCH rather he know to strap on a condom. While condoms considerably lessen the risk of disease or pregnancy, also tell them that it is NOT a 100% guarantee - for instance, condoms are virtually useless against the spread of herpes as only so much is covered. On the subject of technique, well, that's a more advanced course. I don't recommend visual demonstrations, as courts and judges have some slight issue with that. Best to let them know a little farther down the line that resources and "how-to" books ARE available. Knowing how to please a partner and yourself while working towards mutual satisfaction is one very important aspect of a relationship. Finally, do NOT hang a stigma on sex! It's not a black art or a taboo, rather an instincual, human drive that can be controlled. Hanging shame is the worst thing that can be done as that promotes either serious repressions or a rebellion in the opposite direction intended. Sexual confusion and repression has produced such societal illuminaries as Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and the little guy who goes to the triple-X theatre twice a week and stains the seats. There are those who would have their children feel that premarital sex is the dirtiest, ugliest thing they can do and that one episode in the back seat of a car will ruin their memories for life. Bullshxt. DO, however, let them know that it is something worth saving for someone they really care about, though, and is MUCH more pleasurable and meaningful when it's not spent on a momentary fling. Take a POSITIVE tack on that and leave the "thou shalt not" arguments behind. Prudish behavior on the parent's part now could very well result in tragic behavior on the child's part later stemming from ignorance or defiance. Nothing is guaranteed, but in virtually all aspects of life, early intervention can eliminate the vast majority of problems befalling us. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with sexuality as the results can last a lifetime. This epinion ran a little LONG as I had to GRIND out some points, but then again I never believed in being a short-timer in the saddle. This is part of a write-off (or some other kind of -off, depending on your viewpoint) on the subject of Sex. Please read the other opinions written on the subject: Gypsyrose75, Blonbabydawn, Bgoodday, Alwaysstubborn, Eraser, Sunnydaym, Anglesbear,Acdc711, Wldangels3, Shantel575, EMTCheryl, 29th_Candidate, wavesandshells, grumpifrog, Schlomer96, ryguy, moimonet, Disartain, working98, josilot, ChriseyB, latchon2me, daystorm,lansky2000, mcgina, cleanshaven, Maggi-33 , Schamozzel, pantazis5, jankp, macndeb, and Lilvoyce.  |
| Read all comments (20)|Write your own comment |
|
Ads by Google
|
