Good Night, Sleep Tight...Please!
Dec 16 '00
It's 8 PM. Your 2 year old child is waging a familiar temper tantrum in her bedroom, whining, crying and yelling. Yes, it's bed time and cause for commotion. But bedtime doesn't have to be a nightly battle between parents and toddlers.
It's important to realize that once in a routine of resisting bedtime, the child is in control, has learned to get control and is not willing to be reasonable about giving up control unless some steps are taken. Both parents should discuss the situation and agree on a plan together.
Parents should examine a typical night in their house. Does the child put off bedtime with questions, crying, or temper tantrums? Does she leave her room? Does she stay up watching television? Where does she end up at the end of night? When my youngest son was 3 years old he gave us a few problems just like this. But we did work them out in the end. Here's a few ideas if your having problems with your child going to bed and staying there. It may not work for your child, as every child is different.
Have a bedtime routine each night, like bathing, brushing teeth, reading a bed time story, and then going to bed.
Praise the behaviors that you want to continue. Praise your child the first night that they stay in their bedroom all night.
You might start bedtime later to minimize crying, but don't let your child sleep later in the morning or you won't be able to advance the bedtime.
Once a plan is established, reason with your child one last time with words such as, "Cindy, we want you to be a good sleeper. A good sleeper stays in her room. Mommy and Daddy have their bed and you have your bed. Starting tonight, you are going to be a good sleeper and stay in your room. If you can't stay in your room by yourself, we are going to help you be a good sleeper by closing the door (a door closed just a few inches to start).
In most cases, two nights of a consistent approach is all it will take to get your child to bed on her own and to give you control of bedtime again. However, no matter how hard your child cries or screams, don't change your plan. It will only serve to reinforce to the child that, "If I cry long enough and loud enough, I will get what I want to happen". This is likely to translate to other behavior problems as well.
Parents should also avoid giving in to requests, questions and conversations once you've said good night to your child.
It's now 4:00 am. and your child's sudden crying awakes you out of a sound sleep. He's had a nightmare and is afraid to go back to sleep. Nightmares, or frightening dreams, can happen in toddlers, but are much more common in pre-school children. They usually happen in the second half of the night and may represent an aggressive feeling or fear the child has or an experience that happened during the day.
Cuddle and reassure your child.
Stay with him until he calms down.
Use a night light, this may help.
Help him talk about bad dreams during the day.
Do not let your child watch frightening or violent movies or television shows.
Parents can help their children become better sleepers when they are very young. A small child needs to learn to comfort their selves in order to get to sleep on their own. The earlier you teach this lesson, the more rest everyone in your house will get down the road.
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