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Discipline - a fine lineFeb 27 '00 Write an essay on this topic.I am the mother of 2 children. My daughter is 6 and my son is 19 months the following practices apply to children 10 years and younger - When disciplining my children I usually try to take the following things into consideration: Severity of the issue Such as - was someone hurt or injured (feelings included). Witnesses If I didn't see the problem - then I try to find someone who did (usually the other culprit). Listen What is that saying "there are 2 sides to every story ?". Well sometimes there are 3 or 4 or more sides but always have an open mind - and enough time to really listen to your children about what happened. Calmness My kids usually know they are in trouble when I am most calm. This allows me to look at the situation. Punishment that fits the crime I am not going to take away every toy in my daughter's room if she spilt juice on the carpet. What I may do is tell her that she can no longer have juice in the rooms that have carpet. She will also have to clean the juice off of the carpet (so she can see what a pain it is)I will also tell her that if I catch her with juice not only will I immediately take the juice away. She will have to drink water from then on. Privately One thing I do not do is publicly humiliate my children in front of their peers or other adults. In public if my child happens to misbehave I do not want to embarass myself or my children by giving them a public display of their soon to be punishment. Each child also needs to be handled in a certain way. Some children get very frightened when being disciplined. Some get very angry and lash out by either yelling at their parent, or even striking them. My daughter tends to cry and get very emotional when I discipline her so I have to do it delicately and without using too loud of a voice. I feel that it is important to punish your child in a way that will help them learn from the experience. Talking about it with your child usually helps. For instance at bed time instead of rewarding with a story you could discuss the punishment and why you felt it was necessary and ask your child to explain to you why they think it is necessary for you as the mommy or daddy to do so. Try to explain to your child why he or she is being punished. Granted you can't do this with a toddler but you can always take away a pencil or sharp object by saying "No owie" - later on, when your toddler is older it becomes "no - that could hurt you or someone else and it is not a toy". The main thing is to do what works for your situation without fearing the authorities will come and take you away for being a parent. Sure things have changed since the days when dad had his belt hanging on the wall. But children are also seeing more violence and witnessing more violence then we ever when we were their age. I try to discipline with love - may not seem that way to my children but I hope that some day they will understand.  |
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