My 88 Year Old Mother Has Alzheimer's
Dec 12 '00
My Mom and Dad were married back in the Thirty's during the Depression. They raised three son's and three daughters. they were married for 46 years when my dad died suddenly at age 71 on Aug. 23 1981. At this time my Mom was 69 years old and in good heath. She sold her home in the country moved to an apt. for a couple of years, then a new senior apartment building was built in the town my sister lives in, and only ten miles from me, about twenty miles form my brothers and other sister. She moved in there and lived there for fourteen years.
Alzheimer's comes on so very slow that it took a long time for us to see that something was different. Thinking back there were little things like she was not to have sugar, she loved her ice cream. My sister took her grocery shopping weekly she got her sugar free ice cream and treats and she still bought the good ice cream pops with sugar, explaining that she was buying them for me that I liked them when I came to visit. Then one day my sister asked me if I ate all those ice cream treats when I would visit her, maybe I would have one or two a week, but every week she would buy one some times two boxes. So she was eating them her self.
She started cooking food all hours of the day, I could stop in at 9:00 in the morning and she would have something cooking on the stove, if you ask her why she was cooking so early she would say that some of the vegetable's take a long time to cook. One time I was at her apartment she took a bunch of broccoli out of the refrigerator and told me that she forgot how to fix it, that time I cooked it and put in the refrigerator for her. There were a few times that she put things on the stove to cook and forgot and burned the pan.
We her children along with her went to the assisted living building checked it out. We got her on the waiting list.
We moved her in there three years ago. She has a very nice room and bath. We got her a new single bed, love seat new TV. (she has cable) tiny fridge reclining chair, a phone with speed dial programed with all our phone numbers she only needs to hit the # sign and one number, We put pretty wall paper borders on her walls. Hung family pictures. Her room is very pretty and homey.
She gets good help and great care. The help that work there are great. They get three meals a day served in the dinning room. They get an afternoon snack and coffee or juice. They get an evening snack.
They are helped with their baths, They shampoo and set their hair weekly. Their beds are changed weekly.
The laundry is done and returned to their rooms daily. Their medications are stored in the med. room and given to them at correct times,
I tell Mom it must be nice to have maid service, but I'm not to sure that she agrees with me.
They have quilting, bingo and Sunday service, holiday parties in the community room. My Mom won't go to any of them, she says she doesn't know anyone. It seems that she doesn't want to make friends. She wants only her children. We make sure that at least one of us go visit her everyday. On holidays one of us bring her to our homes for the day.
For many years now ever since my Dad passed away, my two sisters and I take Mom out for lunch every Friday. Some times two of my brothers will join us, one brother retired and moved to AZ. last year. She looks forward to that, she never forgets when it is Friday the phone may ring at three in the morning its Mom asking when we are coming to take her to lunch, I have to tell her its the middle of the night that she needs to go back to bed. She will tell me its not night where she is. I tell her that she has to have breakfast first before we can go to lunch.
Things have changed slowly over the last few years. Mom used to work picture puzzle's, sew, embroider, paint by number, she has stopped them one by one puzzles were the last one to go. I worry that TV will be the next to go. She love's Touched by an Angel and Texas Ranger, she love's Walker.
Mom has gone from a very quiet and a never complaining person to a very different person that we knew for all our lives. Her long term memory is still kind of there, short term is bad, she repeats her self over and over, asks the same question over and over. Remembers almost nothing five minutes after lunch she can't tell you what she ate.
She is paranoid has to hide her remote control before she leaves her room, she thinks someone will steal it. She thinks people come in her room and eat food from her fridge, She calls us and tells us that someone came in her room and took clothes out of her closet. She says people are talking about her. She gets mad at people that live there.
One night she called me at 3:00 am took me a bit to wake up to what she was saying, she told me that there were two girls setting in her room and since I was the only one that she knew had girls they had to be mine, she said that they wouldn't talk to her, that they just sat there. I told her to give them the phone that I would talk to them, She said no that wont work they wont talk. I finally had to tell her to hang up. and I would call the office and ask them to go to her room and check on her.
By morning she didn't remember any of it.
Mom is a Diabetic her legs are now giving her a lot of trouble. They swell and break open, she has infection in them and is being treated.
Part of the problem comes from her refusing to do what the Doctor tells her to do. She wont keep her feet up. the Doctor told her the other day that she has to help by doing what she is told to do, if she wants to get them healed.This week the Doctor said that her lower legs were to be soaked daily,creamed and wrapped.Thats not going to well.As soon as the girls get her legs wrapped and leave the room , she take the wraps off.
We know that the worse of the Alzheimer's disease is yet to come. We dread thinking of it. We all fear that we may get it to, but we were told that when it runs in a family that it usually hits at an early age like in the 50's, and we are from 57 to 67 years old. I think with people living longer we will see a lot more people getting Alzheimer's disease. Maybe a cure will one day be found for it.
The nursing home will only be a last resort for my Mom, only when she can no longer live in assisted living. My two sisters and I help out with her care, and as long as we are there every day it take's some of load off the help.
If only we could have our old Mom back the way she was.
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Member: MARGE STAUFFENEKER
Location: MAPLE PLAIN MINN.
Reviews written: 55
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