Parent Deserve Their Own Space- Part 2Jan 29, 2000 Write an essay on this topic.
Sleeping with baby has its advantages and disadvantages. It contributed to a problem in our situation. This is a continuation of my other opinion. I felt it necessary to clarify a few points. I was accused by one reviewer as being uninformed and abusive. My children, by the way, survived their childhood and are young adults. We are very close.
Ideas about child rearing tend to change over time and then come back again, as something seemingly new. Breastfeeding was not as popular with the generation before me. Now it's very popular and so much has been learned about the benefits. Placing baby on his/her back to sleep was not considered a safe idea when my children were infants. It was thought that they might spit up and choke. Now sleeping on the back is again in favor, as it was when I was an infant, but for different reasons.
I AM a true believer in breastfeeding and did with both of my sons for the majority (90%) of their feedings. I supplemented with a bottle when I was attending class or later with my second - working. I breastfed my first for about 4 months and my second for 11 months. Some cultures do, as I stated, breastfeed --for years. It's a cultural, natural, highly beneficial, thing for them and us. In other cultures, it is natural to sleep with baby. It has become a hot issue here and now. It was not endorsed by my pediatrician.
I breast fed my first until he fell asleep and then put him down. All was fine for several months. He had been sleeping in his own bed. He even slept through the night (at least 6-7 hrs.) after about 3 weeks. He wasn't hungry. He nursed for nearly an hour at each feeding, getting milk in about the first 15. min. and comfort for the rest of the time. At around 3 months old, he got to the point that he wouldn't fall asleep any other way. As soon as he was done nursing, he'd fall asleep. I'd put him down and he woke up screaming. I again nursed him. I got so exhausted with the up and downs, I finally took him to our bed. This was not where we wanted him to sleep. It made things worse. But by that time, he never would fall asleep in his bed.
Finally, we had to let him cry it out. Yes, for the first night he cried for 4 hours. It was horrible! AS first time parents we felt terrible, but he was O.K. He was dry, didn't have air bubbles causing discomfort, and was safely in his crib. It was attention-getting crying. It was manipulative behavior. Yes, babies that young and intelligent, can manipulate! The next night, he cried for 2 hrs. and this decreased daily. After about a week, he would fall asleep in his bed.
One reviewer called me abusive for doing this. It was not abusive.
It was necessary- for both him and us as parents. Each child is different and has to be handled as an individual. He had conditioned ME to pick him up and nurse whenever he cried or whenever he was put down to sleep. He was nursed many, many, times a day for around an hour (he would've nursed longer) each time. My second didn't care to nurse more than 20-25 min.
I assure you there are worse things that can happen than 4 hrs of crying. There are screaming temper tantrums that can go on for hours..children who hold their breath, bang their heads, smear their feces etc. And... Yes, these are behaviors of some normal small children that can be corrected. Many, by ignoring the attention-getting behavior.
There are things parents have to do to insure the overall health of their children. If a child spikes a dangerously high fever, and the parent must immediately place the child in a cool bath to bring that fever down. Yes, the child cries and is delirious. Cool water is a shock, not comfortable. The parent must endure the cries to bring down the fever. The child must endure the discomfort at the time for the benefits to his/her overall health. Without doing this, the consequences could be life long brain damage or other problems for the child.
Each child brings with him/her their own unique personalities, delights and difficulties.
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