Infertility is a tough thing to handle
Apr 09 '00
I have been trying to conceive my third and final baby for the past 15 months now. I was able to get pregnant with my daughter and son very easily. They were conceived on the first month of trying. Needless to say, I am very devastated that it isn't happening again for me.
However, I am finally taking a stand and will be finding out why I am not able to get pregnant again. I am so fearful of the word infertility. No, that could never happen to me. I am a healthy woman and I am built to have babies. Besides, that is what a woman's body is for, right? Hopefully I will be checked out at my doctor visit and it will be something simple to correct.
I belong to many different parenting sites on the web. There are more women out there who suffer from infertility then I ever imagined. I know there are some that have it worse them me. Some are trying for their very first child. Infertility can be “a blow to the gut feeling” when you find out you are unable to have children. Seeing women who are pregnant everywhere or hearing of someone you know becoming pregnant doesn't make it any easier either. It just reminds you that you are unable to conceive that child you so desperately want to have.
I guess I am wanting to write this to inform those who have never experienced infertility that you need to be sensitive to women. Here are a few things that should never be said to a woman, especially if you don't know her background on her fertility:
** "When are you going to have a baby?" How do you know this lady hasn't been trying for the last few years. This statement tends to do more harm then good.
** "Well, maybe it's just not in your cards or it's not meant to be for you to have babies". This would be the very last thing an infertile woman wants to hear. A baby is the one thing in the world that is wanted by most women. To hear that you are one of those that aren't going to get to have one is a tough thing to swallow.
** "Relax, it will happen. You are trying too hard". WRONG answer. I can't tell you how many times I have heard this saying. You don't know how hard I have been trying or how desperately I want to become pregnant. Don't tell me to relax. It just doesn't work that way.
** "You should just be happy with the kids you have." Only my husband and I know how many kids we feel will make our family whole. In my heart, my family isn't complete yet. I will continue to have this hole in my heart for that one baby I just can't seem to conceive.
So, until you know the background on someone, don't just assume that they don't have children because they aren't ready for them yet. This person may have been trying for a very long time. If you are unsure, the best thing you can say is nothing.
Infertility is something I hope none of you ever have to experience. It is a heartbreaking, painful, and an emotionally upsetting thing to have to go through. Please, be sensitive.
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Epinions.com ID:
ahines
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Member: Anna H
Location: USA
Reviews written: 52
Trusted by: 113 members
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